Have you met your SO's "people"

[DescantSoul]

My boyfriend and I are going on 11 months committed and have taken 3 trips (will be 4 in 2.5 weeks) to see each other but always in a neutral city. I LOVE the mini-vacations and living in that dream world with him, but I'm curious at one point we will begin to introduce our friends and family to one another? I've "met" and spoken with his brother, and sister on Twitter and once messaged back and forth with his mother on Facebook. (They all live in Europe, we are in America albeit 1000 miles apart). He almost came to see me this summer and I thought it would be normal for him to meet my parents and friends (we are in our mid-30's) but I was surprised at his hesitation. He's told me months ago that he wasn't ready for me to be there in his world yet and I guess I'm just curious how typical this is?

[kiara_silver]

hmm, In my relationship my SO didn't want to tell his family about me at all. I guess he was scared or afraid they would complicate things? He said he liked to keep his private life private. And it took about a year before he told any of his friends. Me on the other hand had told my family about 6 months into our relationship. His parents didn't find out until days before he left to come visit me. This was 2 years later. (but recently we found out they knew all along ha) For us were younger, so maybe the reasons are different, still in our teens. Im not sure if its a guy thing? When he came he met all of my family, and i talked to his mom twice on the phone. But if they hadn't confronted him im not sure he would have told them. So maybe giving him a little push? Or doing a surprise visit? or idk actually... im certainly glad that our relationships out in the open because now he sounds excited for me to meet his family. So maybe your guy just needs that extra nudge or for something to happen to get past that wall? idk if im making sense, sorry

[Moon]

While I've met a lot of his friends, I haven't met his family, but that's mostly due to a language barrier. His parents don't speak any English, and I'm barely learning Finnish, but it'll happen one of these days! We're 40 and 41, so it's a little less important at this stage, but I'm still looking forward to it anyway. I think after almost a year, he should start incorporating you a little more into his life, but some people take longer than others to be comfortable with that.

[rivi87]

I guess its to each their own when it comes to this. I met Mitch's parents and friends my first trip to Minnesota July 10. He met mine when he came down to see me in Missouri in December of 09. I had only brought one other guy home so was a big deal for me to bring him in to show my family.

[Sora1101]

His family knows nothing about me even though we've dated for almost 2 years, and although his friends knew about me and I knew about his friends he only started gradually introducing them to me via oovoo in the past couple of weeks.

I don't think you should worry most guys, especially guys in LDRs like to keep their social life and their romantic life seperate, like I said even more so in LDRs because most guys feel the need to keep up the image of "yeah I get laid all the time." if he told them about you being so far away they could tease him and just cause all around un needed drama.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I've never met my SO's parents, and I've never really had any contact with them. They have no clue who I am, only that I'm from England and my SO talks to me "occasionally" to me, where in truth I've been with him for almost 9 months. He's never met my parents either, although he spoke once to my mother via Skype. For the most part, we keep our relationship a secret because we know that telling our parents would be one step too far :/

[Lina]

I've talked to his younger sister and I've been on cam once with his older sister saying "Hi". In our case it's also a matter of language since I don't speak any Arabic and his parents don't speak any English.

[Dziubka]

I met his mum before we even were a couple and I've met all of his friends and a lot of his family.
But we've been dating for almost two years and we started out CD, so that's a somewhat different situation I reckon.

Imho meeting your SO's friends is more important than family. It depends how close they are, but I see my mum maybe two or three times a year and my family is not a very big part of my life in general.
Plus no one can help having embarrassing parents, but if they have inappropriate or embarrassing friends... well... it says something about them, too,

[kteire]

I had met most of my SO's friends before I met him, I was living in a house with two of them and the rest were always around. Well, and they're my friends too lol. And I met some of his college friends, and his best friend since childhood when I was last over visiting him... We've done the whole family meeting thing too. He met my mum when he came to visit me for the first time, and then on the next visit, I met his mum, dad and sister. And then on this last visit, he met my sisters, my grandma, a few of my cousins and aunts and uncles lol. But my SO and I did start dating CD, so his family figured out he was dating me when he never spent any time at home, and well, I met him through our mutual friends.

[nicole]

I met his friends pretty early on I think- about a month in to our relationship. His family... I met at Easter so maybe 7 months in? We were CD though to start off with though, some things when you're LD take a bit longer I imagine, then CD. My SO only just met my parents last christmas when we'd already been dating for over a year, he would have met them sooner, but there's an ocean separating all of us haha

[princessmeg1328]

I don't know how typical it is to wait to meet your SO's family and friends. I met his family very early on into our relationship. I met one of his brothers at the same time that I met him while I was on vacation. I met his mom, dad, and other brother when we'd only been together two months. He met my family and friends after we'd been together for four months. He would have met my family sooner if we didn't have an ocean separating us. It took longer for me to meet his friends. I just met most of them in June after we'd been together for 9 months.

[Kerry]

when I went to see him I met his Mom, step-dad, brother and 2 of his kids. when he comes up here I will introduce him to my family and close friends.

[folclor]

well, I met my boyfriend's parents, sister, and best friend on the first visit I took there. In subsequent visits I've met his extended family on both sides and a lot more of his friends as well as his friends' families. We've been dating a year and a month so... I don't know.

Just go with what you feel is right in this. Every relationship's different.

[DescantSoul]

Thank you all so much for the replies! I know he's told most all of his nearest and dearest about me, it just seems he's not ready for that step. I'd love to start having hometown visits but don't want to push him. We are already going through a rough patch if you see my other thread so I know it's best to wait it out. Thanks again!

[books]

I met my SO's family very early on in our relationship (we were CD for about 3 months before going LD). I was actually his younger brother's teacher the previous year, so his family was familiar with me. Once he brought me to his house to formally introduce me to his family, we received the seal of approval on our realtionship and it really brought it to a whole nother level. Things after that felt much more serious and real (as in we knew we were definitely heading towards a future together). The last night I was there before heading back to my home country, he took me to meet his little 80-year old grandparents. It was important to him that his family know who I was, not just in some passing remarks, but actually meet me. I think it shows a lot.

I've met pretty much all of his friends as well even though when we're together we do things as a couple or with his family as opposed to with his friends.