LDR/crysis -> break up?

[sm0ker]

Ive posted a thread week ago, she did change her approach and behaviour after finding new friends. It\'s been tough and now she just said she doesnt know what she feels. We've been together for more than a year.

I gave her time,we talked about it..She got just confused..I can't travel, neither she does for next month at least. ahh,i really was giving hope to that realationship. I still do.
But this situation changes entire relationship

Did anybody of you experienced something similar here during LDR? What do you think,she will find out what she really feels or it's not going to change and result in drifting apart.

I'm processing everything now,it's going to be hard to get up tommorow.Any suggestion? How would you react? I was almost speachless when i heard she doesnt even know if she loves me. I have to make a point we spent almost half year living together after we went to LDR.

[Lina]

Give her time, let her think. Maybe the distance is saying its word upon her patience and the new life she's found there makes her doubt her feelings. So just give her space to put order in her thoughts. And if in the end it proves that she really doesn't feel anything for you anymore then just let it go. Being together when feelings aren't shared only makes it harder on both of you.

[ChristmasFanatic]

I know how you feel. For my case, she started to neglect me in a way that I feel unloved. Im giving her space, and time. Just hoping that they will eventually see how much we love them, and them love us in return; and all the times we spend with them isnt something easily forgotten.

[bluishskin]

If you are willing to wait until something comes up then you can do so. At a time like this it's hard to predict whether she will find out what she really feels or not because basically anything can happen. However, if I were you I would stop expecting too much at the moment and prepare for the worst. You can set up a specific length of time of how much longer you can/will wait and see how she will react. Everyone has a different level of patience. If after some time she doesn't come with anything like you have expected, then it's time to let go and move on. Don't waste time for something that is unsure.

[sm0ker]

ChristmasFanatic:
How long are you able to wait ? did you bring the problem up?
I share your opinion it can't be forgotten easily and quicklY like people do sometimes.

bluishskin : Im willing to wait but my patience is not infinite. I'm losing it slowly..Just one more month and some days and there will be chance to close the distance for a while. I have to cope with the sitatuion and prepare for the worst

It's not easy to leave her space,i use messangers all day,we just ignore each other so far. We experienced similar sutation year ago but back then we were together and discussed it and being together helped mostly. I'm thinking about traveling in one month.
Is it worth even if she doesn't realize anything,to travel (question for how long?day,two? ) and talk about it. I should travel though in case she realize anything. This can't happen on daily basis. this should be well discuss between us . I dont want to break up online. Not an option. I'm getting to the hardest part of my LDR.

[uniquefem]

Well some said if you set them free if they return back to you means she love you, right now try like what bluishskin said, let her had the time of her own. If she had the time to think and she wonder out there and she will see the truth, if you're worth the time to had the relationship or not. You can't push her to be with you anyway.

Made your self busy! to get her out of your head... its better to think about the worse.. well then you ready for anything!

*hugs* good luck!

[sm0ker]

Guys you are right, but we havent broken up yet. I started to think about do it soon. Because i think same as uniquefem. She should loose me and that should make her think about it. She cant do it now because she knows im there and waiting.

Nothing changed at her side so far. We cant talk to each other anymore.i got questions,she got no answer.

Im doing pretty bad,thinking about the whole situation and breaking up. Because i can't put up with waiting forever . I'm losing my patience fast. it seems like she's preparing to say Good bye.

[HollzHeartsChris]

Dwelling on the problem isn't going to help, I'm afraid. The best you can do is give her the time she needs to think things through thoroughly and in the meantime, you should try and do things that will distract you from thinking about it. Hang out with friends, family, go out and take the weight of the problems off your shoulders, even if only for a short while. You'll feel a lot better for it

[sm0ker]

What's your opinion about ignorance?

Be completelly busy as you proposed,but real problem is how much space to give her.. Because for me it's better to not speak with her right now. I do not contact her at all, she does sometimes, call or message. I reply but i dont know what almost. I have to hear how well she does ,why should i be listening all the time what does she do, how everything is fine ,with friends ,at work. Only our relationship is on the bottom line of the interest.. I assume the ignorance from my side should help her to realise we are driffting apart slowly and it's time to start thinking about it and make a step forward.

I do really better not to hear almost anything. Im glad she tries to speak with me but it makes me feel worse and it sets the depression mode on. Because is not about the habit being in touch, its about feelings which there are none right now. I'm loosing my faith day by day.

[sm0ker]

I post some update. Scenerio i was afraid of came to reality. We broke up last night. Nothing changed in last 3 weeks therefore we had serious talk and she just said she doesnt want to be in a relationship. I agreed and i hope we stay friends and she might understand later how much she meant to me.

It would be fine if she realize at least something later. What i regret right now we didnt have a chance to set things right and be together after went to LDR for a year. I wish we could !
I believe if it was love, we end up together somehow later in our lifes. If not,we move on.