I love Denise with all my heart and soul, its very hard to describe how much i really love her. But i have this stupid feeling of anytime anybody gets close to me i wanna run away, it stems from the fact that I've been friends with people, i get close to them and tell them everything and then they just leave. Anytime me and Denise get closer and we always do it scares the shit out of me sometimes, and i wanna run but i dont! We have discussed this and she has told me "if you run, im running as well but im running after you, your scared if you get close to me then eventually i'll leave and run away myself so you wanna do it first to avoid that. well aint gonna happen lady, your stuck with me whether you like it or not :P, i love you im not going anywhere" Have i mentioned i love her? lmao i hate feeling like i wanna run everytime i get closer to her, it happens less now but it still happens. anybody got any advice to make that feeling go away?
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I have never had this problem with my boyfriend..soon to be fiance, but I can see where you're coming from if you have been hurt by other people before. All the advice I can offer up is to be confident in the love you have for each other and knowing that a love like you have with her may never come again so you don't want to push that away. Try to relax in knowing how you feel and how she feels about you and know that if it is true love ( which I'm sure it is) there isn't anything that is going to make someone who loves you run away. Be confident in that and when you do have theses feeling remind yourself of this. And also know that if you're continually afraid that you might get hurt, you will never let yourself be fully in a relationship and just let go and let the relationship flow. I know this sounds extremely cheesy....but if the relationship between you and Denise is meant to be, it will be( and I'm sure it was meant to be) and nothing will get in the way of that
Don't let a past fear dictate this relationship and its full potential to blossom. Good luck!
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That's a tough one. I was to the point where I'd always tell myself "Abandon or be abandoned." (read it in Wicked hehe and just thought it fit too perfectly!) I kept my guard up and wouldn't let anyone in! I had a few close friends I was always with, a slightly larger group of pretty close friends I'd maybe meet out, but as far as relationships.....HAHAHA nothing more than "friends" ya know. Anyone I'd meet we'd have "the talk": I don't want a relationship, it's the farthest thing from what I want, I don't say I love you and I definitely don't want to hear it that's a sure way to make me run the other way. [[that went on about 2 years bc the ex was kind of d-bag in the end]]
Idk what it was about Bryce. I just immediately felt so at east with him, and so comfortable, like I had known him forever. I felt so safe with him and I pretty much immediately let my guard down. THAT scared me....the fact that I didn't feel like I needed to keep my guard up scared me more than actually letting it down. lol And I felt so safe. I remember vividly him at the house and us laying in bed watching tv. He started picking at me and held me off the side of the bed and said he'd let me go. He asked are you scared? And before I could even think about what I was saying I said, "Nope. I know you won't let me fall" As I said it all I could think was no shut up shut up don't say that its too soon! ahaha. But I knew it meant so much more and meant so much more than just whether or not I thought he'd drop me off the side of the bed. I don't know how it happened....I tried figuring out but I can't it just did, but it sure did scare the crap out of me! lol
You haven't met yet right?! Bet it goes away as soon as you're together! We met out on New's Years Eve....so much of that night doesn't even count lol, but we met again for coffee a few days later. And that's when it all happened. We talked on the phone during the days between that first night and our first 'date,' and it definitely went well, it was obvious we liked one another for as much as we knew about one another, there was obviously a possibility for something being there.....but when we MET! It was just amazing.......I know it's corny, but it was truely like the whole world fell into place. I immediately felt connected, felt comfortable, immediately felt like I could trust him and tell him anything and do anything and it wouldn't change how he felt about me. I found myself sharing stuff that I had never really shared with anyone. Even the fact I had a sister.....the guys in those 2 ears before him meant so little to me that most of them didn't even know that simple fact about me......yet here we were just sharing all kinds of random facts and stories about one another.....I think once you two are together it will all disappear!!Comment
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No we havent met yet but will in a few months, I know it probably will go away when i finally see her, the feeling of "run away before you get hurt" gets less and less, but its still present which annoys me to no end. I know were meant to be together and the fact that i still have that stupid nagging feeling bugs the hell out of me, but yeah i do have a little feeling it will go away once we finally meet.Comment
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I know that I had so many nerves before I met Simon ( my boyfriend/soon fiance) but it was like we had known each other forever...no awkwardness as you would think when you first meet someone. We were so comfortable with around each other, it was no longer a big deal. And I'm sure this is how it will be for you as well just try to not let you fears or this feeling get in the way
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i know what you mean about running away, even in this reletionship when we tackle tough obsticles or im having a bad time i'll tell him i'm scared, because i am, and sometimes you just cant explain why but you just know its the way you are feeling and you cant change your view easily... i get like this too becasue of reletionships ive had with people (family members and exes, betraying my trust, and also theres rejection chucked into that while mix of lovely things! lol.)
the thing is though: this is about YOU and the way you are feeling inside; just because people have sh*t on you in the past doesnt mean they will do it again,... its taken me 4 years to start to believe that. it sounds like you are your girlfriend are really inlove so dont let it hold you back, maybe you just need a little reassurance? and from what youve said she said, seems like she is willing to give that to you. dont let this feeling rule you... because chances are you are always in your life going to have feelings like this, but life is life and things will happen/wont happen regardless of how you are feeling.. just make sure you know that those ''friends'' that left you.. that was THEIR inadequacy, NOT yours... when become more comfortable as your reletionship blossoms ... you will start to believe it...and hopefully those feelings will go.
stay CLOSE to your girl dont run!xx
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oh i defiantly wont run, i love her too much to do that and i cant imagine my life without herComment
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When we first got together, every time something big came up I got scared he'd run, and then I wanted to take back everything I'd just said and abandon ship. But after a while, it just kinda went away. We've delt with most of our crazy (there is now a warning system in place where I'll tell him I have some crazy to say) and he hasn't run. Well... he did once, but came back less than a week later.... Anyway, what I'm trying (and probably failing) to say is that the feeling of wanting to run goes away.Comment
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I have intimacy or trust issues as well, and for me it was hard to get close to my boy, sometimes it still is. I guess you just got to sit and relax and enjoy the ride.
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i did talk to her about it yesturday and felt better after i did, lol so not only would she run after me but she said "I have a key to your apartment now, so i'll have to do is get in and find yo ass!!" lmao! oh god i love herComment
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lol I think the biggest line of trust is when you actually make the commitment to actually be in a long distance relationship, telling secrets or how you feel should be cakeComment
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Mmmmhmm oh yeah i agree! if this was a few years ago i dont think i could have handled it, but i'm able to do it now so i think that tells me alot! I know were meant to be together for the rest of our lives and if that requires us to make it through this long distance bumpy road then so be it! I'm not gonna let my fear get the best of me, visions of our future is what keeps me going some days and know that i found the one person that truly makes me happy and feel complete makes the long distance pain a little bearable, and if we can survive this and we will then we can survive anything life throws at usComment
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