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    #16

    I can just repeat myself too when I say I'm so so sorry. Reading this is painful for me, I wish you didn't have to go through this. I don't know if my thoughts help, but I get the feeling that being with him is probably not the best thing for you at the moment. I think you need some distance after a break-up, especially if it wasn't completely mutual. He seems to cope much better than you (although he could just be putting up an act, too) and it's good that he wants to keep you as a friend and help you, but honestly, I don't think he's in a position to cheer you up at the moment.

    As for the facebook thing, I guess for me it would depend on which kind of pictures they were. If they're not too "cuddly" or whatever, he could probably have left a few. But he seems to want to move on very much and perhaps that's just his way of dealing with it faster (same with the party)? Perhaps he also already kinda knew that things are gonna end for some time and has been preparing himself emotionally?

    I honestly don't know how you should best deal with it... on the one hand, I guess you should be working on transforming this into a strong friendship and laying the foundation for that in person might be good; on the other, he seems to be in a different stage of the grieving process from you and meeting up with him as friends might just hurt you even more. I admire you for even being able to talk to him, I think I wouldn't be able to do that, it would tear me apart. I know you probably feel that if you don't meet him now, your friendship is not off to a good start or he might think that you don't want to be friends, or you might think after you get back that you wasted the time you could have spent with him, but he should also understand that it takes some time for you to get over each other before you can truly be good friends. Wounds like these don't heal overnight.

    Personally, I think I would be far too emotional in a situation like this to even think of meeting him or if I did, I might say and do things I'll later on regret and that might make staying friends hard. I do think that you're stronger than me in that respect, so perhaps you can stay calm and do this without either getting into a fight, being passive-aggressive or accusing him. I know it will be hard on you, but if you feel it's worth it and that it might help you in some way through this, you should still do it. Whatever you decide to do, I think it will turn out the way it is supposed to. Have you told him about 2012?
    Last edited by lunamea; April 17, 2010, 12:58 AM.

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