"checking in" with each other

[lucybelle]

We've never checked in with each other. Even now that we are close distance we don't do that. If I leave the house when he's not here I don
't let him know. I think it would be weird having to 'report' to him, like I had to get his permission or something.

Totally agree with this. Now that we're CD we can send texts. My SO is constantly worried about me and will send me texts saying "did you get home okay?" I'm like "yesssssssssssssss! I know how to ride the bus!" It's somewhat annoying but he did admit he sort of sees me as a "child" since I'm in a foreign country with a different language. Still...

[Dziubka]

Totally agree with this. Now that we're CD we can send texts. My SO is constantly worried about me and will send me texts saying "did you get home okay?" I'm like "yesssssssssssssss! I know how to ride the bus!" It's somewhat annoying but he did admit he sort of sees me as a "child" since I'm in a foreign country with a different language. Still...

My boyfriend does that, too.
One time, when we were still CD, I went somewhere with a few friends and he sent me a really detailed text about how I can get from the station to his place *facepalm* I had been living there for almost half a year then, three bus stops from his place.

But I guess I'm guilty of that, too. And I sometimes translate really obvious, easy things for him and sort of forget that his German isn't thaaaat bad anymore.

[bluishskin]

The closest we might get to that is if I am going out with friends and won't be home or available to talk, then I'll remind him that I'll be out with so & so and unavailable and then he just follows up with me the following day to see how it all went.

Yup this is also pretty much what I do with my SO. We're not married yet so there is no obligation to check in with each other or to ask for a permission like what snow_girl said. At the moment whenever I go out or he does, we don't text each other just to report what we're going to do, unless the situation like what blankita said happens, or if something urgent/important suddenly comes up. Apart from that often what we do is ask each other about we are going to do the next day. Like an overview of plans.

[rivi87]

Yea..before my husband was deployed we talked all the time. He kept me up to date on his day and I kept him updated on mine. Not every little thing but things like the gym or grocery store.

Now that he is deployed we talk on the phone every couple days and I send him an email everynight of my daily travels with pictures which he likes. I know if I am going to the movie theater I will leave him a msg letting him know I'm going so he knows when to call. It all about a happy medium for us

[elina]

We did that quite a lot when we were LD Worked for us, although I might've got a bit too worried over nothing sometimes because I didn't hear from him when I was expecting to But I would've preferred that way anyway than not knowing when he's in/online and when he isn't.

If it works for you, I think it's perfectly fine

[Bobbiejeanne]

I wouldn't say we "check in" everywhere we go... but we do text during the day about how our day is going, usually re-caping something that had happened earlier... like "My college had casino night! I won major bucks " and more likely for him with his construction work "I hurt myself doing _______" haha
I text him more often than he texts me, mostly because since he hasn't started college yet, my life is a little more interesting than his. And I'm fine with him not responding, I just like telling him what I'm up to, I don't require him to tell me what he's doing at all times of the day... I trust him!

But like everyone said above, everyone is different! If you guys like checking in and knowing what your SO is doing at all times, that's totally cool! Communication really is key

[amandamayaaa]

well it's not so much a matter of trust because we trust each other. it's actually just safety. which i know sounds kind of childish, but thats how we are. we just want to make sure the other person gets there safely. and because we're in constant contact throughout the day anyways, it doesn't hurt to add an "i got here babe!" kinda text

[Zephii]

We never checked in when we were long distance, there just wouldn't have been a point. Besides that would likely make me angry. Obi's parents "check in" with everyone all the time, especially his mum. She's always coming to our room to tell me "Ok I'm going in the hot tub now" or to church or the shops or shower - basically every time she starts something new there's a memo on it. It drives me batshitcrazy. I don't care what you're doing, just go and do it. Occasionally Obi will do it too, like if we're doing something he's not confident about - he gives me a play by play to make sure I approve. Sometimes I need to yell at him to stop.

So, yeah, I can't imagine that level of communication every day. No way. He lets me know if he'll be late for dinner, and frankly that's really all that's necessary

[solarkissed]

I think it's great that you guys communicate so much. I don't necessarily think it's checking in. I think LDRs tend to require more communication, or different communication, than a CDR. If it's daily, hourly, weekly, whatever...it's what works for both people's schedules and temperament.

I'd be upset if my SO just decided to go out after work and not tell me. But that's because we talk every night after work. And I'd worry if I didn't hear from him. Likewise, I'd let him know via text, phone call, email, etc...that I'd be home late so that he wouldn't be worried, or waiting for me at home. I think that's just a courtesy.

[Kyla]

The only time we really "check in" is after one of us leaves from visiting each other or a big trip. I'll text him after my flight lands and when I'm actually home. We text briefly through out the day, too. It's not so much for checking in as it is for interest. Just odd texts here and there to tell a funny story or whatever. We usually talk on the phone every other day and we'll talk about what we've done the past few days.

[blferguson1s]

My SO and I talk pretty well constantly. Whoever wakes up first texts the other for when they wake up. We pretty well know each other's schedules so we know when we can and can't talk. We text throughout the day whenever we can. Sometimes it's an immediate response, sometimes not. We try to video chat at least once a week. I always call him when I'm about to go to sleep to say goodnight. We also have it planned out to see each other every 2-3 weeks this semester since I go to school less than two hours from where he lives.

Like others have said, some people think it's way too much. For Chris and I, it works. We're each other's best friends too so it only makes sense to us.

[threecheers9980]

We do check in with each other. I let him know when I get home from work and when I go back to work and he lets me know when he gets to school and when he gets home from school. And when I go to the city, I let him know when we leave and when we get home, as well as where we're going. It's more of a safety issue than anything else.

I actually like it because my parents were way different...my father would take off on Saturday afternoon or all day Sunday and not tell my mom where he was going or anything. He could have been kidnapped or something and we'd have no idea where to start looking because we didn't know where he went. Actually, he still does that.