Please help me :( He is careless !

[emanuelle]

We met at holiday. I'm 22 and he is 28. He lives in Germany and I live in Turkey. He was at Turkey, actually he is Turkish but he lives in Germany since he was born. His parents have a summer house at the holiday place that I went.

When I first see him, I fell in love… In 3-4 days we advanced our relationship from friendship to love. I love him and he loves me(according to his say). After the holiday, I return to home (Istanbul) and he was at holiday place for 2-3 days more. After that he came to Istanbul and we came together, we have just 1 day for spend It was a wonderful day) after that, he went to Bodrum in Turkey, actually if he and his old girl friend broke up in March and because of that, he came to holiday with all alone.

After he went to Bodrum, he was more careless than past. and 2 days before, he return to Germany, his last message was 2 days before and he says “I will buy a new computer, after that we can talk on Skype and you can hear my voice. I love you, please don’t forget me”. He says much more than that but why is he a careless man?

Maybe German people are careless, I don’t know. For example at my past relationships, I continiously messaging or talking with my boyfriends on phone. But now, my boyfriend is careless. He don’t call me or message me. When he was at Bodrum, he surely send me at least 1 messages per day. But now, when he return to home in Germany, for 2 days he didn’t call me or send me some messages.. And I’m too because I won’t send something until he sends. Please, I need some advices. Thanks

For instance, I said to him : “You have a life in Germany, if you like another girl in there, I can understand you” And he said: “I'm not interest in someone no matter who is her. Nearly I'm 30 years old. Don't worry, if I select someone, I continue with her. Same situation is valid for you”. After this message, I get away all the worries from my mind but now when he is careless I'm worry again..

I think, we can't be meet in this year. Because I have my thesis. I'm studying 2 different fields and my courses are so concentrate. And he is working in Germany, he wants to collect all his vacations to summer. I think he won't come to see me too. How can we conduct this relationship? I really love him and if he thinks serious like marriage, I can go to Germany for living with him after my university graduation. I didn't say this thought of me because I don't want to be apprehended as a marriage fan.

[lucybelle]

How long have you two been together? This seems very new!

The best thing I think for couples with communication problems is to set a date to talk. Tell him that you want to Skype every Friday at 11pm or whatever works for the both of you. That way you always know when to expect his call.

Another thing you should do is tell him you want him to message/call you more. My SO would only email me once every week or every two weeks and it sucked and made me sad. So I sent him an email saying I NEED MORE and he immediately changed. Make sure he knows how you feel, and that you want more contact. Good luck.

[emanuelle]

How long have you two been together? This seems very new!

The best thing I think for couples with communication problems is to set a date to talk. Tell him that you want to Skype every Friday at 11pm or whatever works for the both of you. That way you always know when to expect his call.

Another thing you should do is tell him you want him to message/call you more. My SO would only email me once every week or every two weeks and it sucked and made me sad. So I sent him an email saying I NEED MORE and he immediately changed. Make sure he knows how you feel, and that you want more contact. Good luck.

Thanks lucybelle, we've been together for 15 days, you're right, it's very new. We don't know each other enough. Maybe you're right, I must ask for more messages.

[Zephii]

You need to give the guy some time and space. He's likely not careless, he just doesn't need constant talk. Not every couple talk every day. Give him time to prove himself before you worry.

[BeanieBaby]

I think you just need to feel out the relationship more and decide we you both want out of each other as SOs. If you want more attention, tell him so...I'm sure out of only 15 days he doesn't know what you need yet so it'd be good to speak up. Get to know each other and get comfortable and figure out what you both need to make this work. (:

Good luck!

[emanuelle]

I'm so sad... Everythings finished... I can't access him.. He didn't answer my messages

In my first message in this site, I said "But now, when he return to home in Germany, for 2 days he didn’t call me or send me some messages.."

After he returned to Germany, he sent me a message first he returns to home, his message is in Turkish but now I'm translating to English. It's his message "I returned to home sweety, in this week I will buy a new computer. You can hear my voice bu Skype. I love you, please don't forget me, kisses"

then I answered his message, but he didn't answer my message....

after 4 days he sent me a message " What's up darling? Computer is ok. Tomorrow I will sign up to facebook and Skype. I love you. When I look at to our photos and listening the music that you sent to me, I want to cry."

after that, I answered his message but again he didn't answered my message...

Then after 2 days, I log into Skype, he added me, I accepted it and 2 hours later, he logged on. We talked about 4 minutes.. Because he said "I must go to work after 3 hours, I must sleep, is it ok to continue to talking tomorrow 14:00? " I said Ok.

After that, I waited him from 14:00 to 01:00 but he didn't came to Skype.. I was very sad but I didn't send him a message to his phone.. Life is complicated, in every hour, every minutes you can experience everything but the important thing is being deliberative... Maybe he have an urgent thing to do or he experiences an urgent situation.. But if he give value to me, he must send me a message as "Sorry, I cannot come to skype". That's it!!

After that, I talked with my friends, my mind was very complicated and I need to learn his love is real or not! I sent him a message.. My message is "Do you love me? but in real...?"

He instantly answered my message, he said "Of course, I love you so much! I was not online, do you suspect from that?"

I answered "No, I didn't suspected but sometimes I want to hear that".

He didn't answered my message....


This last message is before 16 days.. This is 16th day that I haven't got an answer from him

After his last message, I sent him a message from my the other phone number, he didn't know my the other number but this is a Turkish phone number code as +90, and he is not stupid, he can anticipate that it's me. I wrote in my message " Are you alive?

He didn't answer... Then after 1 week from my last message, I sent a message again, I wrote "Please say me, are you good? I'm just wondering that.. I don't interrogate you.. I just want to learn that you are good.. After that, if you don't want to talk with me, it's ok.." And the other part of my message are my feelings... I wrote to him, my feelings and dreams about us..

He didn't answered....

Before 2 days, I wrote a long writing to him from Skype.. I don't know that he read it.. Because there is a probability of block. Maybe he blocked me on skype and because of that, he can't read my writing.. I wrote all of my feelings.. I said again, "Please just one word, say me if you are good".. He didn't answered.....

I think about a probability of his return to his old girlfriend.. They seperated at March and I think he returned to her.. When we were at Istanbul, he said me "Actually me and my girlfriend were going to come to Bodrum and my summer house but we seperated, because of that I came by myself". I can't think something except of that because everything is very ridiculous.. I don't understand why he don't answer me! There isn't a reason for that, why why why why??????!!!!!!!!! For no reason at all, he don't talk with me.

I just want to hear one word from him.. I love him, I miss him so much. I can't take breath without him, I can't live without feeling his existence..

How can I cope with this situation? What can I do to hear something from him..


I don't know, please help me Please...

I can't live my normal life by thinking him. I can't stop to think him..

[Sharon Q]

The problem with just talking online is the fact that for some reason or another your SO can lose internet.
Things like storms, late bill payments, problems with in the internet company, things like that can make you lose internet.
So have you thought that maybe he doesn't have internet?

[emanuelle]

But I sent messages to his mobile phone... He didn't answer anything for 16 days..

[ClipitsWings]

Wait...how long have you known eachother now? Could just be a cultural difference between you and me, but a guy here would be scared off if a chick bombarding him with all this need, love, and accusatory words, especially this fast and this often.

Chill. Not everyone texts constantly nor is on their computer constantly. People have lives and sometimes can't live up to time restraint promises. If he comes back, it may be advisable for your own health and your relationship to not get upset over every second he's not talking to you. If he doesn't, well, that would explain why he blocked you. Chillax. Seriously. You've known him for less than a month? He shouldn't have the power to break you yet. Don't let him. Good luck.