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    Hitting a wall...



    Hello everyone! This is my first thread, so bare with me! Thank you all for all of your threads and posts! They have been extremely helpful in my first LDR.
    My boyfriend Matt is the best thing that has come into my life as of late. He sees me as beautiful 24 year old woman that the world doesn't always see. I love him very much. He lives in Albany, and I live in Boston. I am so grateful to see him once a month.
    I am hitting the wall I see so many of you talk about. I recently spend a long weekend with him for his birthday in Albany. It was an amazing time and we did a lot of things that couples who are not in an LDR do: take a walk in the park, watch a movie, cook dinner, go out with friends. The time came to leave his side yesterday morning. We were in his driveway for over a half hour, unable to let go of each other. We were both crying profusely. It has never been this hard to let go. I cried the entire four hour drive home and through my work shift. He spent the day in his room, crying off and on. The distance is starting to take his toll in a way that it never has before. To make matters worse, our parents are also chiming in on our relationship. My mother was wonderful in trying to help me through my day yesterday, but kept making comments that Matt should "move out this way" or "man up and come out here". His father was making similar comments about me.
    Does anyone have any advice on how to move past this wall? Matt is one of those "one in a million" types of people, and I don't want to be stuck behind this wall and chance hindering our relationship.

    Thanks!
    Shannon

    #2
    Don't worry, we all go through this and it will pass.
    You just need to be positive, don't let it consume you. I have been in one of these ruts and yes it's hard to get out but just think, you'll see him in a month, be with him again and kiss him. Look forward. Get out, get busy, do anything. Try your hardest not to mope.


    If you want to cry, go ahead there's nothing wrong with that, but cry it all out and try to pick yourself up and have a better day. Better days to come. Try and stay strong for you and your hunnie, you're not alone. <3

    Here if you need anything. (:

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      #3
      I agree it will pass, some departures are harder than others. When I find it extra hard to cope I usually try to spend lots of time with family and friends and do fun things for me that I enjoy doing. Good luck you will get through this

      Madly in love with Michael


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        #4
        I had the same problem the first time my SO had to leave. I spent days in bed just crying. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. And on top of that I had to take finals only days later. I seriously thought I was going to be stuck in that state forever. But, once finals ended I started to find things I could do to keep myself busy. As much as I hated cleaning, I did that all the time, and I ended up being the person who would complain about how much I hated it to myself while doing it that it really did help pass the time.
        Another thing that may help is to may be start taking a daily walk. It really gives you time to just clear your head and escape from any stress going on in your life. Take a music player and even listen to music if you while doing it. It helps with the relaxing too.
        And find little projects; puzzles, take up a new hobby. Things like that. The more things you do to keep busy, the quicker time will pass and the easier it becomes to deal with it all.
        Of course, there's no denying you'll still have those days where all you want to do is cry. And that's fine. Crying actually can make you feel better because you're releasing all the stress and pain. So whenever you feel like crying, just let it out. It's okay to.

        You'll get through this. Just give it time. :]

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          #5
          That's the hardest part of being in an LDR, I think. Try to keep busy. The time goes by faster and the month will be up before you know it. Of course, it's always ok to cry. I always give myself a day or two to mope around after I or my SO leaves. I'll just stay in bed all day and eat ice cream and watch tv. Sometimes it's nice to let yourself fall into the sadness for a little bit. For me, the thing that always makes me feel better is that first skype session with my SO. Just seeing him on the computer screen and hearing his voice again makes me feel so much better that much faster. It reminds me that he and I are in this together.

          Good luck!
          "I'll hold you in my heart till I can hold you in my arms again."


          "It's supposed to be hard! If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great! -A League of Their Own

          Met: August 22, 2010
          Made it official: September 17, 2010
          Got engaged: January 15, 2012
          Our First Visit: November 18, 2010-November 28, 2010
          Our Seventh (and Last) Visit: November 10, 2012-November 24, 2012
          Got married: November 21, 2012
          Big Wedding Date: May 25, 2013
          Closed the Distance: June 2, 2013

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            #6
            Thank you all so much for all your support! I really appreciate all the suggestions!

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