I don't know what to do.

[Raine]

Gah. So I'm confused as to what to do right now.

Since it's easier to call him my SO, I will, even though he's not.

We confessed our feelings to each other about a month ago, and it was lovely, but he said he can't see himself in an online relationship again because of his ex. Yes, he finally told me about his ex, last friday to be exact. Turns out they were together for almost 5 years...and she's back in the picture and he's still talking to her. He told me he doesn't want a relationship with her anymore because he doesn't trust her but he said he can't seem to stop himself from talking to her. "Maybe it's because she knows everything about me, inside and out. All my secrets. And though she sometimes ignores me, I just..."

They had a fight just hours ago. What about, I don't know. But he got out of it extremely hurt and depressed, to the point of wanting to drink and cause himself harm, [I don't know if he will, he says he won't, and just is sleeping now, but I know him better, I think he's awake and driving or something. My gut is telling me he's not sleeping and that's that. ]

Right now at this moment, we are just friends. A few weeks ago he started growing more affectionate, cyber touching me and stroking my hair, snuggling with me and kissed me once, but that last friday he brought up the kiss teasingly and I said 'Well you can kiss me sometimes too you know' and he said "I just don't want to lead you on" and we agreed to try to be just friends, but he's slipping and saying things friends shouldn't, and sent me a love song "It girl" but Jason derulo. Well, he asked me if I ever heard of it and said it had been stuck in his head for forever. I think that counts maybe? He does that a lot, ask me about a love song and ask if I've heard of it and hints me to listen but acts all nonchalant.

I'm just so confused at the mixed signals he's giving me. He's not as affectionate anymore, just hugs once in a while, but he still talks to me all the time, and is still sweet and initiates the conversations. And we made a pinky promise never to ditch each other two days ago. [we do that, pinky promises. ahah]

I know right at this very moment, he doesn't need the pressure of someone wanting him to be a SO, he needs a friend and I'm more than happy to be one. But I'm wondering what will happen later? I'm clinging to the hope that he will change his mind in the future, but I don't know if it's a good idea. He's so hurt by his ex that I totally understand why he doesn't want an internet relationship, but I just wish that someday he would give me a chance.

I don't know, what do you guys think? Sorry, I'm really tired and sick on top of all this so maybe none of this will make sense. :/

[uniquefem]

First if its night there, you should get some rest... usually after sleeping you will feel fresh and could think better (you might yell what kind of stupid advise is that!) but hey.. you don't know where he is and what he do now.. and its just not wise to worry about him while your hearts also wondering about your relationship. Just try to think about your self once and you need a good rest.

Ok, about your story... i met this kind of guy back then, and its just made me feel upset to my self, because i feel so stupid, giving him chance to play me like a yoyo. When ever he got argue with the ex he will come to me, and when they're ok, they will go out, well.. FRIENDS ONLY thats what he said.

A guy who want you wont play you like a fool like this, dont even start a relationship with a guy who still had attachment to previous relationship! just made you sound like a fool all the time. Because if he said its over then its over.. he shouldn't even bother what ever the ex did. If he still... then he not in to you, what ever sweet words he got for you or the promises!

I am so sorry if i sound bad or very judging or maybe as you thought dont know your situation..... but safe your heart from broken heart please.... it will safe your time too.

Well hope you could think of good way to solve this after a great nap *hugs*

[Zapookie]

I would continue to be a friend. Nothing more. Let your friendship blossom first. Build that foundation of trust. I don't know how long you've known him, but you need to have that solid trust if you want anything to work with you two.

I was in the same situation as your SO, and Christian (my SO) was there for me. And right now he's in my room, making beats. (there's a whole lot more in between but that's for another day :P)

So just take little baby steps for now, because from what I can gather, its still early days for you two. But don't put all your efforts and energies into him. Just like with any friendship/relationship, there needs to be a balance. Be aware of his actions. Don't take things such as "cyber touching" personally... those aren't real actions. It's more about the time spent getting to know you, or time he spends talking to you when he could have been doing something else.