Military SO's?

[Hannah]

Well, this question has probably been asked before, but I couldn't find a thread anywhere near recent.

My SO and I have been dating (most of the time from 1,000 miles away) for 11 months now. For a long time he's expressed serious interest in joining the military, but recently he made the solid decision to join the US Navy on active duty once he loses enough weight and finds himself to be physically prepared enough for boot camp. He is in close contact with a recruiter and has been working out every day. He seems pretty committed.

As for myself, though... I'm a little less comfortable. Of course I will support this decision and stand by him 100%. I'm just worried about how we'll handle the constant uncertainty and slew of curve balls this will throw us.

I'm pretty sure we can adjust with all of this, as we're used to being so far away in the first place. But is anyone else on here a military SO? If so, do you have any advice for me? It would be MUCH appreciated.
I'm seventeen and this is the first serious relationship I've ever been in... and it is very serious. A lot more serious than either of us intended it to be, but we roll with it just fine. So needless to say ANY sort of advice would be great in the first place. P:

Thank you!!

-Hannah

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I'm not in a relationship with a guy in the military myself, but I know that a whole bunch of people here are/have been in relationships with soldiers. So I'm sure you'll get some great advice. =] In the meantime, welcome to LFAD!

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

My SO is in the Army! We've been together 1 year (and 4 months), all of which as been LDR with him in the military. He's just a few states away, I didn't have to deal with deployment because he had just completed his tour when we met. I'd say be 100 and a million % sure that you are willing to do it. They have enough to worry about without being worried about whether or not you'll be home when he comes back.

One thing I wish someone would have told me in the beginning....they are always ALWAYS changing their minds! It took me a little bit to learn. Example: He tried getting leave for our first Valentine's Day, the guy basically told him yea we just have to do the paperwork etc come talk to me tomorrow....and when he went the guy made a big deal about him not going sooner and didn't grant him leave. So when stuff like that does happen don't get mad at the SO it's out of his control....

Idk. Just be there for him. I mean, the distance is stressful enough on a regular relationship without the added stress on his end. I'd say talk about expectations before hand about phone calls etc. The SO and I took a little while to understand one another concerning the amount of communication expected. I wanted a lot of contact, especially when we first started dating....while he expects to talk everyday, he also needs his de-stressing time right after work (usually xbox )

You start to get the hang of it. It becomes part of your routine and it's just what you do. Good luck!

[Tinyteef]

I am also in a military relationship heree :]!
My boyfriend of 2 and a half years is in the Army and we have been together since before he joined.
The advice I would give is to look up as MUCH as you can about the Navy. My boyfriend is Army so I can't help as much but I did a lot of research when he first joined because I was pretty much joining with him. We were very serious before he joined and we only got closer.

When he first leaves obviously he will be doing basic training. For Army I believe it is 8 and half weeks.
It's very little contact with friends and family. My SO called me every other Sunday. If he is close with his family, you have to realize that you won't always get the phone call.
I'm really not sure how it goes with the Navy but I know after basic training there was Advanced Individual Training where he learned his job he signed up for and than to his first duty station! He could stay there for up to three years. My SO arrived at his duty station and left a month later and is currently over seas.
There is A LOT to learn when it comes to any branch of the military so I would really do some research.

Also know that if he is serious about it, there could be a lot of pushing and pulling away. Just make sure to keep letting him know you are committed to him and to the LDR (as long as you are sure you are, that is).
You can also add me and message me for any question you might have <3

[hmd2010]

I'm not a military SO, but I have been a military spouse. And I am a Veteran myself. Navy, too! I saw those relationships all the time, and they work! He will need ALOT of support from you while in boot camp. Physically, its not difficult. I was way out of shape, and overweight, when I went into boot camp. I made it through, so that means anyone can, trust me! It was physically tough for me, but not for most. Its the mental part thats tough. We really looked forward to mail on Sundays.. If I were you, I'd write him every day, that way he'd have a pile to read on Sunday. You really learn to appreciate your loved ones on the outside, while you're in boot camp.

And as I've said, I've seen so many of these relationships. Generally, when you join the military, unless you live nearby the boot camp, or your duty station, everyone who is involved in a relationship is in a long-distance one. Good luck to you! Big hugs!

Edited to add, read the post above mine - unless things have changed, your SO won't be allowed to make phone calls. He MIGHT earn the occasional one, or one in an emergency, but generally after the call to let your parents know you've made it safe, phones are off limits.

[Mio]

Lots of hugs to you!

[ErinKristine]

I've been with my SO almost two years and he's in the Army. We're a few states away from each other and see each other about once a month (I'm visiting him right now!). We've been long distance the whole time due to finishing college (both of us) and his various training programs. When we met he was about a year away from commissioning so I guess you could say he was already in the military since he went to a military college and he already knew he had a contract with the Army.
Like the others have said just send lots of mail and don't get your hopes up too much about getting to talk frequently. My SO didn't go through basic ( he commissioned as a 2LT through ROTC), so I can't give too much advice about that, but I do know that communication can be tough even if he's not training. Sometimes it can just be a really long work day and he only wants to talk 10 minutes. Definitely go to the NAVY site and look up information, also ask your SO a lot of questions that way he knows that you're interested in what he's doing and that can be a way to show your support for him.

[ErinKristine]

I also wanted to add that there is a group for Military LDRs on here, if you're in the forum tab (which you will be if you're reading this) there's a little drop down menu titles community, click groups and you should be able to find it.

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

I didn't have to go through basic training. He completed that and an entire tour in Iraq before I met him. I send him letters almost weekly, though it's slowed down due to all my school work, and packages almost monthly. Just always be there for him......it's beyond tough for them and sometimes it's just the thought of you that gets the through the day. :] Also the family thing. I have to remind myself sometimes that as hard as it is for me, I'm just missing him....I still have all my family and friends right by my side supporting me. But he's missing everyone, he's not just away from you, but all his family and friends. Definitely educate yourself...I was on a forum for military SO's (it started getting kind of slow, that's when I found this one) I asked them lots of questions and I'm always asking the SO lots of questions.

[ErinKristine]

Yes, forums for military SO's can be helpful to start off with. Like stated above they can get slow though and some of them are pretty drama filled, but even if you just hang around and read some of the helpful information you'll learn quite a bit.