Our Biggest Issue Overcome?

[Sierra]

For my boyfriend and I, our biggest issue has been his refusal to allow me to come visit him because of his living situation. He's working on changing it, but not being able to go see him has been tearing me apart inside and as such I've been pushing him away. I also put an ultimatum on the relationship, which is something I've never done and I'm not proud of, but I decided I had to in order to protect myself. I said that if by November this whole situation isn't worked out and I still can't come see him in Texas I'm going to have to leave him.

Last night I was in full blown panic attack mode about the whole thing, the other day, we had a massive fight about it ...
But from my panic attack I had an idea to kind of test his actual willingness for me to go see him ... I made an offer.

When my tax refund comes next week he can pick a time for me to come out and visit him. If he's moved into a new place by then, he's moved and that's fantastic, if not we'll get a hotel room. I have to admit I was really expecting him to say no, but he said yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have a visit coming up and I can't wait but I'm really looking forward to being able to go to Texas, move past my distrust and be able to move ahead in this relationship. I just had to share with someone because not many people understand the situation I'm in.

[lucybelle]

That's fantastic news! I'm so glad things are working out for you two.

[leonsfangirl]

Thats brilliant news!!
I hope it's everything you want it to be and more

[snow_girl]

Awesome! Maybe everyone needs an ultimatum every once in a while, glad it worked out the way you wanted

[LeilaniJoi]

Aahhhh something about those Texas boys... stubborn as an ox but once you break past the barriers they are all soft, warm and squishy inside. I moved to Texas to be with mine. What part of the Lonestar are you heading to?

[Sierra]

Thanks everyone, it feels so good to have finally gotten through to him just how important this is to me. I was at the point where I honestly felt that there was no way to carry on in the relationship in good faith unless this happened. I was so terrified last night when I brought it up because I thought he was going to say no, and I was so shocked when he said yes...

Aahhhh something about those Texas boys... stubborn as an ox but once you break past the barriers they are all soft, warm and squishy inside. I moved to Texas to be with mine. What part of the Lonestar are you heading to?

He's from Arlington. Where do you live?
I would move to Texas to be with him, but I haven't even been there yet.

[Rugger]

That's such great news! I'm so happy he's finally starting to get past these issues and letting you in more. It's a fantastic step

[Tanja]

Great news! Looks like he's finally realized that you love him no matter what and his living circumstances does not change that. Happy for you my friend

[Mara]

This is great news!

[Sierra]

That's such great news! I'm so happy he's finally starting to get past these issues and letting you in more. It's a fantastic step

I think so too. I think he really took what I said to heart. I'm still really sad that it took me getting him really upset to realize what me not being able to see him has been doing to me, but the fact that he said last night he realized that he's been unfair really meant the world to me. I've been patient and kind and respected his boundaries but these worms of doubt just get into my brain and I can't get them out. Now I don't have to worry about it, it feels like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Great news! Looks like he's finally realized that you love him no matter what and his living circumstances does not change that. Happy for you my friend

I'm not sure that he's going to let me see where he lived before (or may still be living when I go out there). I proposed that if he's still living where he doesn't want me to see and hasn't moved out yet that we stay in a hotel and he finally agreed. To be honest, if he's really that ashamed about where he lives now, I can let it go, I don't need to see it and have him feel so shameful about it. I do love him no matter what and I wish that he knew that nothing was going to make me change my mind. I know in the beginning he said that he felt that if there was any doubt in my head about us being together that he thought me seeing where he lived would push me in the opposite direction - I told him it's not true.

I'm just happy to be let into his life finally.


It's funny though, I knew how much this all bothered me, but until today I didn't realize how much it really effected my life and my anxiety in general. Today I feel like a whole new person just because of this commitment. I was so worried we were going to have to break up because I didn't know how much more of this I could go through, but knowing that I can go out there now is something I can't even describe. Plus I think it takes some of the pressure off him regading moving (he just made a job change as well). So I'm glad.

Thanks for being so supportive guys. I really appreciate it

[XxMeg589xX]

I know you are excited!

[Kerry]

hey girls- my boyfriend lives in Austin!

[LeilaniJoi]

We are in the Wichita Falls area

Glad it is working out for the OP! Always good to have your mind eased about things and sounds like a big step in the right direction!