insanity.. please help me :(!

[xBeliever]

Dear All,

I've been on this website for a while now, never had the courage to actually post anything..
I've been reading you guys your problems and most of the times i could relate to it and it would help me a lot, so thank you for that.
Here's my story short..
I'm 18 now almost 19 i met my boyfriend when i just turned 13 or so and he was 16, we met online on a silly game. turned out he's best and the worst thing that has happened to me.
For most part i am soo thankful that i have him he completes me and is my joy. we've been together for 6 years now thats like my whole childhood.. =\i basically grew up with him
Now he is my everything.. like literally my whole world. he is my first in EVERYTHING but that doesn't count for him because he used get lot of girls. (before he met me) but he changed and I've been with him all the way.
I have to admit we didn't have the perfect relationship we split up many times because we couldn't bare seeing each other going through the hard times wanting each other to find someone near so it would hurt less. At the end we would always end up getting back together because the love was true and strong.
But anyways.. i could go on for hours but im gonna stop for now telling about me and him.

Last time i visited him was last month I've been back for a month now and I'm going through hell.. i always knew he had a really hard time accepting that we had to go back to skype phone etc, after me visiting him. But this time he snapped, he is drained he's exhausted and has given up. He seems heartless towards me like he has lost the love for me. The distance has ruined us... Since i'm back he wanted time alone because a lot is going on in his life and i would add extra stress above everything, so i left him alone for a while. Today i couldn't bare it anymore so i called him turned out to be a big mistake but i saw it coming sooner or later anyway..
He broke up with me, i was in tears, crying and begging and hurting like hell....

I told him i would do ANYTHING to make him stay,all he says is '' i don't want this anymore, it sucks.. '' '' I'm tired, this is going nowhere..'' I explained to him i will finish college and university in 4 years and i will move to him( we both live in Europe ) but it seemed like he's given it up..

What am i suppose to do, i can't lose it even the thought of a life without him drives me insane because every step I've taken in my life i thought of us
Please help me i feel so lost, there must be something i can do.....
So sorry you had to read this long story I'm just out of options and hope :'( !

[Miramaid]

BE strong girl, that is all I can say.... it does sux and not many ppl can handle it. I personally think there is not much longer that I can bear my LDR

[xBeliever]

If i could be strong i would, I've been strong with so many stuff but he is my weakness. i wish so bad i could do ANYTHING to ease things up for him so life doesn't seem so hard and he would stay with me. I cried like a child and i sound pretty pathetic right now but i could care less.. my dad cheated on my mum and now she wants to leave... fml

[Mara]

*huge hugs* I'm sorry it sounds like everything is going pretty bad right now, but you said yourself the two of you have split up before. I'm not saying that the two of you will get back together again definitely, but if he loves you, he can't just so easily walk away from you. I would give him some space and some time to miss you and then see if the two of you could reconcile things.

[agirl]

I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. My parents recently divorced for alcohol reasons and, even as an out-of-the-house adult, it hurt. I still struggle, a year later, with letting my feelings about my father impact my relationship with my boyfriend, so, if I could humbly offer some advice:

Please, please, please, don't let how you sad and betrayed and abandoned you feel about your parents spill over to your relationship. It sounds like this guy is pretty selfish, and its easy to hang your hopes on him... but its going to backfire. Accept that you're upset about your parents' situation (and the end of your relationship) and that's okay - in fact, it would be weird if you weren't. But don't think you can fix things by making this guy stay with you.

I'll be sending prayers & thoughts your way.

[xBeliever]

i was back 25th of July, gave him '' space' until now.
i don't think space is going to help since he admitted he is growing cold on me and there was nothing i could do according to him.. i feel so hopeless right now.
he said he loves me but not as much, i guess by that meaning not enough to sick around? :\
what hurts me the most is i feel like i screwed it up, he loved me so much and i loved him back.
but sometimes i feel like i took him for granted, and hurt him... stupid me
now this thing with my parents makes things even harder, he is the only one who i could turn to now i have nothing.
everyone has betrayed me except him, all my ''friends'' and such.. i could always rely on him
tomorrow we're going to talk again, i begged him to so.. i guess tonight i will be thinking what to say to him and pray to god he will have a change of heart.
I'm so confused, i know i don't deserve this and neither does he.
In everyone's life there is that one special person, one true love, sounds corny but he is that person.
I don't wanna spend the rest of my life regretting and missing this person..