Today is a Hard Day

[Sierra]

Today is just one of those days for me and I need to vent. My boyfriend recently changed jobs and our relationship is in transition. I'm getting used to use communicating different and not as frequently as we used to, but it's not as bad as I thought. He texts me before work and calls me after, we still have our 'date nights' and all that jazz.

Today I just really miss him. I woke up wanting to see him next to me and obviously he wasn't there. It seems like every visit makes it harder and harder for me to be apart from him.

I can't seem to break free of my sadness today. I wish it wasn't this way, I wish I could go see him when I need him and have a hug and a kiss. I wish we could go on dates and see each other more than we do. I wish the distance wasn't there. I know we all feel like this all the time but like I said, today is really hard for me.

We have a date night tonight and I'm tempted to tell him to forget about it and go hang out with his friends so I can just go to bed early, but I can't because I know spending the time talking to him tonight will make me feel better and I know he's looking forward to it.

I love my boyfriend but I hate feeling this way. I wish we could close the distance.

[hxcbreakdance]

We all have those days :/ You will get through it, just try to do some things that make you happy and def don't cancel plans with your SO, that just might make your day! I hope you feel better soon

[Snap]

Yeah, we all do have those days eventually. Sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere! But I agree with hxcbreakdance; you shouldn't cancel your plans! This will give you something to look forward to and perhaps bring you out of your funk.

[NaNi]

Yeah, I agree. Don't cancel the date night! Hearing his voice might help you to cope a bit better with the distance. It would probably make me sad at first, knowing that a date night is all there is, but it's better than nothing.

[Chris'_Princess]

I can understand where you're coming from. There are days that are harder than others. It's hard to be apart from your SO, but having those date nights is a great idea! It's time you can spend together!! Enjoy them! And tell your SO how you feel...he understands the feelings too. Enjoy your date night!

[Kerry]

I know JUST how you feel! I have lots of days like this. I cry a lot on these kinds of days. this weekend were 2 of these days for me. there are days when I really miss my bf and with our different schedules we don't talk as much as you did earlier in our relationship. it's tough because you can't spend the in-person time with him that you want. I wish my bf and I had "date nights". I love the idea of having designated times to talk. I think it's important for all LD couples. so don't cancel your date nights, ok? have them for those of us who can't.

[Sierra]

Thanks guys, well it turned out that he cancelled date night ... with my permission. He called me and was super distracted which was fine, we ate dinner 'together' and then watched a tv show but before I knew it he wanted to hang out with his friends and I told him to go. I know how important it is for him to spend time with his friends, blah, blah, blah. On one hand, it made me feel really bad. He does this to me frequently when he doesn't have his typical Monday plans - he promises to spend it with me and then goes out and spends it with his friends, but I don't feel like I have a right to be like, please stay home with me ... it's better that he be out than in front of a computer.

The bad day has continued into today. Our time we normally spend talking has been cut in thirds by his new job. He texts me in the morning like two texts, never have a good day or anything and then I don't hear from him until the afternoon. I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know I just have to adjust to this change in his schedule but I really miss him.

I'm starting to think maybe I'm not cut out for a long distance relationship.

[lucybelle]

You're just feeling down right now. I think for one, a date night is a date night. You two schedule a date to spend time together. He needs to schedule time to go out with friends around a date. Just like if you were CD. If you went out to eat and your SO wanted to leave early to hang out with friends, would that be okay? Hell no it wouldn't! Stick to your date nights. You NEED them in LDRs.

Next, if you feel like you're not getting enough contact, TELL HIM. Tell him you want more texts. I understand if he has a busy job, but he can send out one or two at least during a lunch break. Tell him you're feeling down and need some reassurance.

[Sierra]

You're just feeling down right now. I think for one, a date night is a date night. You two schedule a date to spend time together. He needs to schedule time to go out with friends around a date. Just like if you were CD. If you went out to eat and your SO wanted to leave early to hang out with friends, would that be okay? Hell no it wouldn't! Stick to your date nights. You NEED them in LDRs.

Next, if you feel like you're not getting enough contact, TELL HIM. Tell him you want more texts. I understand if he has a busy job, but he can send out one or two at least during a lunch break. Tell him you're feeling down and need some reassurance.

For full disclosure, I did tell him it was ok to go hang out with his friends. I could tell he wanted to, if he didn't want to he wouldn't have told me that they were blowing up his phone wanting to hang out. I just feel it's healthier than sitting in front of a computer and chances are he'll make it up to me today.

I really am just feeling so down, and you're right I need some reassurance about a lot of things. He's trying to move so I can go out and see him but it's taking him forever and a day. All I know is that every time I moved I found a place usually within 48 hours and this is taking him 6+ weeks.

If we were CD I know things would be different and he would make time for me or I would be involved in hanging out, but you know I'm just some girl who's 1,720 miles away. He makes an effort to spend time with me for sure, I know I'm just feeling down in the dumps and have to get over it.

[solarkissed]

I can definitely relate. We all can. It's been said before by many others, but make sure you're keeping yourself busy.

For example, this past weekend...my SO was a little distracted and wasn't as attentive as I needed him to be. I told him how he made me feel, and he rationalized how he behaved by saying he didn't mean to hurt me, and he wasn't trying to be thoughtless, etc. etc. I listened but then told him that I had some things to do (which was true) and needed some time to think and work through things. I told him I'd call him later. I sent him a text later that night telling him good night and that I loved him, and that I'd talk to him the next day. Then, the next morning at 6:00a.m. - he calls me. He said he just needed to hear my voice. My point in telling you this story is...it's so easy for some of us to lose ourselves in our SO, especially when we're LD because we don't get to see them often enough...so, we want all the communication we can get. But sometimes, space is needed. It took a day of not being able to talk to me when he wanted, for my SO to realize how much he missed talking to me. Sometimes, as sad as it may be, him not having constant control over when/how he talks to you, will encourage him to appreciate your time together, a.k.a your date nights, just as you appreciate and respect your time with him. He shouldn't cancel, or cut short, one of your scheduled date nights to go hang out with friends. Period. Just my two cents...

[Kerry]

Thanks guys, well it turned out that he cancelled date night ... with my permission. He called me and was super distracted which was fine, we ate dinner 'together' and then watched a tv show but before I knew it he wanted to hang out with his friends and I told him to go. I know how important it is for him to spend time with his friends, blah, blah, blah. On one hand, it made me feel really bad. He does this to me frequently when he doesn't have his typical Monday plans - he promises to spend it with me and then goes out and spends it with his friends, but I don't feel like I have a right to be like, please stay home with me ... it's better that he be out than in front of a computer.

The bad day has continued into today. Our time we normally spend talking has been cut in thirds by his new job. He texts me in the morning like two texts, never have a good day or anything and then I don't hear from him until the afternoon. I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know I just have to adjust to this change in his schedule but I really miss him.

I'm starting to think maybe I'm not cut out for a long distance relationship.

oh wow.... I've grappled with the same thoughts. do I stay in this relationship or do I just end it? if this is becoming a pattern for him I think you need to talk to your bf about it. its rude for him to promise to spend time with you then go out with his friends instead. also, would it be possible to change your date night?