I've been dating my bf for about 10 mos now and he's a really great guy. One thing that I really like about him is that he doesn't hold back and is very honest, blunt, and forthcoming. He basically has no verbal filter. Whatever goes through his mind will inevitably escape from his mouth. I need to be with someone like that. It helps with my trust issues because I know whatever he says is what he's thinking, and we also have some awesome conversations. However, there's one thing about his lack of verbal filter that annoys me and that is discussions about his ex girlfriends.
Maybe I'm not used to this because my exes in the past never really talked about relationships they were in previously. But my current bf tells me so much about his. I know their names, what they do, where they live, whether or not they're in a new relationship, why it never worked out, how he felt about them during the course of the relationship, "the one that got away," blah blah blah. He started doing this on our 2nd date together so this isn't something new. He doesn't talk about them every time we're together, but I've learned more about them than I cared to know. I'm not the one asking him for this information. We like to debate a lot and discuss psychology and inevitably we get on the topic of relationships and then he starts bringing up past experiences with exes. So that's usually how this stuff comes up.
He's never compared or contrasted me to any of his exes or said that I was better or worse than them in a particular area. But I start internally comparing myself to them, and I hate it. I could tell him right now to stop bringing up his exes but that won't change the fact that I already know too much about them to the point where it's becoming internally destructive to me. I like to think and hope that he's not doing this to be malicious to me. He often asks me for details about my exes when we're having these discussions so he knows a lot of info about them than what I normally would tell him.
Anyone have any advice? Could this just be a poor social skill on his part since he's been doing this ever since we started dating? Or do you think it may be something more malicious and passive aggressive?
Maybe I'm not used to this because my exes in the past never really talked about relationships they were in previously. But my current bf tells me so much about his. I know their names, what they do, where they live, whether or not they're in a new relationship, why it never worked out, how he felt about them during the course of the relationship, "the one that got away," blah blah blah. He started doing this on our 2nd date together so this isn't something new. He doesn't talk about them every time we're together, but I've learned more about them than I cared to know. I'm not the one asking him for this information. We like to debate a lot and discuss psychology and inevitably we get on the topic of relationships and then he starts bringing up past experiences with exes. So that's usually how this stuff comes up.
He's never compared or contrasted me to any of his exes or said that I was better or worse than them in a particular area. But I start internally comparing myself to them, and I hate it. I could tell him right now to stop bringing up his exes but that won't change the fact that I already know too much about them to the point where it's becoming internally destructive to me. I like to think and hope that he's not doing this to be malicious to me. He often asks me for details about my exes when we're having these discussions so he knows a lot of info about them than what I normally would tell him.
Anyone have any advice? Could this just be a poor social skill on his part since he's been doing this ever since we started dating? Or do you think it may be something more malicious and passive aggressive?
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