I'm new to LDR's and I need some Advice

[Lannater]

Today, my GF told me that she wants to go to a club with some of her new friends. Being curious I asked her If she was going to dance With some guys. Well she said that it is a possibility that she might dance with guys because she wants to go out and have a good time. I know that she really likes to dance, she is a very talented salsa dancer. I asked her would she be grinding on these other guys, she replied that she might and that its just dancing.

I told her that I do not agree with her and that I am very uncomfortable with her grinding on guys at a club. I also told her that I think that it is very disrespectful for her to be grinding on other guys when she has a BF. Now we are in a big disagreement about this. How do I convey to my GF that I am not trying to be jealous or controlling, but that I honestly think it would be very disrespectful to me as her boyfriend to grind on another guy at a club. I know that my GF loves me very much and I do trust her that she wont cheat on me. But i really don't like the idea of my GF going out and doing this

Please help me, I could really use some advice right now on how to handled this situation

[bigmac62]

First off, welcome to LFAD. We hope we can help you with all your questions.

You're right...that would be pretty disrespectful to be dancing like that with other guys. Just talk to her calmly (I can't stress enough the word "calmly") about how it makes you feel. However, make sure you consider her feelings too. Yeah, we can't help that sometimes, when your SO is out on the town, you may imagine that they're straying, but you have to trust them that they will be faithful.

Just be sure to discuss the situation calmly and be considerate of her feelings too.

[Riyko]

I'm very against going to clubs when you are in a relationship, so i would get upset if i was dating a guy and he did that. I don't think you are wrong to think it's disrespectful or it makes you uncomfortable that she could be grinding up to guys, while she's in a relationship she shouldn't do that at all, because it can send the guy she's dancing with the wrong signal and make him think she's into him.

This is something you two need to sit down and talk about, if she insists on going to a club and grinding up to the guy after you talk then she needs to tell the guy(s) she's dancing with that she's in a relationship and she's dancing with them because she enjoys dancing and not because she's into them.