Handling Things when your SO has no net/computer

[Limitless]

Hello all!

I was wondering how those who are currently in or have been in LDRs handles it when/if their SO loses internet access or their computer dies?

My SO and I had been on webchat last weekend, but his PC blinked out on him so I sent him a message just to touch base with me when he could. I sat around for the first two days, then I got busy with the birth of my goddaughter. Funny thing is... I started to have dreams about him a few nights ago about talking to him and then I get a message from him today explaining what happened and then... just some regular chit chat to check on me.

I'm rather sad because we'd be on IM talking for HOURS, now we're limited to emails... and not regularly, well from what I can tell via hindsight so far...

[books]

Maintaining an LDR (especially internationally) is extremely difficult sans internet. This is the normal situation with my SO & I, as he has NO internet access at all. If he has credit on his phone and the signal is okay, he can access facebook mobile and we message like that. At times it can take up to an hour for one of my messages to reach his phone, so it's definitely not like a real-time back and forth convo, but at least it's something. I would absolutely love it if my SO had internet access, it would completely change our relationship.

[lucybelle]

My SO had pretty crappy internet. And at first we would send maybe 1 email a week. It sucked real bad. That's all there really is to it. Hang in there. Send letters. Good luck.

[mllebamako]

I think it'll just take you some time to adjust to your new frequency/method of communication. My SO had no internet either so he would go to cyber cafes everyday so that we could skype for 30 minutes. Some days, the internet was down or the connection was bad but it just made us really appreciate the time we did have.

Look for alternatives: libraries usually have free internet, cyber cafes, etc. Or like lucybelle said, send letters!

[HollzHeartsChris]

Well, my SO is in charge of the internet/wifi in his house since he owns the router and everyone else in the house just uses it, but there was a time when we lost the internet for awhile and fortunately, since he knows a lot about technology, he'd managed to fix his phone so that it was able to "tether" a wireless connection so we could still keep using Skype on his phone and even through the computer. In other words, he was using his phone as a wifi receiver and was able to pick up a wireless signal from wherever. It was surprisingly good as far as wifi signals go, and we were able to talk quite well. I'd recommend getting a smartphone since it's cost effective and there's a number of apps on a smartphone that would let you both talk without the need for an internet connection. As long as you were able to get some signal and were able to get some credit, it'd be easy enough to stay in touch And like the other guys have suggested, try internet cafes and libraries where you're sure to find wifi. It might be hard to stay in touch with just emails, but stay strong and things will work out

[Engel]

My internet here in brazil is awful, my mother called them to fix it and they didnt, she is almost suing them, so i have no idea when i will have decent internet conection. i never went through this before though, so i dont know how it will be, i guess we will email each other and ill answer his whenever my internet cooperates. but he will be here in one month for my birthday, so is not as bad as it could be. there is always telephone for when we really MUST talk to each other. i just know i cant stay 2 days without talking to him at a time. one day, maybe... 2 is too much.

[leonsfangirl]

Same thing happened to me a few months back, my SO's crappy Dell PC went to electronic heaven. It felt like i'd lost a limb as i,like you, used to have IM conversations for hours on end. Try and keep busy as best you can and hope that he can get it replaced/repaired sooner rather than later.
Is there anyway you can chat via the phone?

[Tobby]

My SO doesn't have a computer. She has to borrow her cousins every once in a while so she can send me messages. This doesn't happen very often though. . I just get through the day knowing my girl has a very hard shell and only opened up to me :P. Keep the faith,trust, and commitment!

[TristenLove]

My AJ is a truck driver. So he lives in his truck. Internet will be a rare thing for us. It'll make me crazy. But I still write him and email every night so that when he does have internet he can read them. Skype calls will definitely few and far between. It makes it hard.

[GatoGirl]

My hb and I did a year of LD courtship in the Dark Ages Before Internet and before affordable long distance phone calls. So we wrote letters, and spoke once a week on the phone. We've been married going on 18 years now, and we still have those letters. It wasn't immediate like phones, email, etc., but there's something very satisfying about getting a letter from your SO. You know you were on their mind and you know they had to do take time out of the day to write you a few lines.

Write letters. You don't have to write a complete letter in one sitting. Just write down a few sentences about what's on your mind and then go on with your day. Don't worry about making great literature or having the letter be perfect in grammar or spelling--just write. Jot things down over the day, or two days, then put them in the mail. Don't hang by the mailbox waiting for a reply. Just keep writing and sending a letter every few days.

[books]

My hb and I did a year of LD courtship in the Dark Ages Before Internet and before affordable long distance phone calls. So we wrote letters, and spoke once a week on the phone. We've been married going on 18 years now, and we still have those letters. It wasn't immediate like phones, email, etc., but there's something very satisfying about getting a letter from your SO. You know you were on their mind and you know they had to do take time out of the day to write you a few lines.

I talk to my SO once a week on the phone. Unfortunately, for us, affordable long distance still does not exist. 19.9 cents a minute is the cheapest rate I have found to call him. I followed the suggestion of a member on here and sent a letter as a way to try to increase our communication. It took 7 long weeks to get there, but he loved it. I sent him another one today.

When I went to go visit him, his aunt congratulated both of us for hanging in there despite the lack of communication. She was in an LDR with her husband years ago when he first enlisted in the military. He was all the way in Russia and she was in Central America, but they communicated for 5 years strictly by letter. She gave me a lot of hope. I think the difference tho is that years ago, a lot of the technology that makes staying in touch easier nowadays didn't exist. So, it's very frustratingknowing that the technology now exists, but you and your SO can't take advantage of it.

[Ms.Justine]

Oh jeez, that's rough. Where my SO is right now the internet is awful and he rarely gets a good connections for about 15 minutes or so... Does he have a cellphone or do you have a cellphone you guys could send text messages to each other. And if you both have a blackberry you can use "Blackberry Messenger" to message each other with phenomenal speed and accuracy and it's international no long distance fees or roaming charges... A smart phone in general would probably be a good investment.