And so it begins!

[Hildy]

I just moved into college today and also started my LDR. My boyfriend was a huge help moving me in today and I couldn't be more pleased with him at the moment. However, he told me he is having a hard time right now and the reality of our new situation is starting to hit him and he isn't doing so well. I'm feeling sad also, but I have so much else going on at the moment that its not effecting me as much. I'm feel bad for him and wish he wasn't feel so bad.

Is there anyway I can help him through this transition period?

[lucybelle]

Well welcome to the LDR family! You just need to be there for each other. Make time to skype, talk, chat, whatever it is you decide to do. But at the same time, make time for yourself and have fun in school. My freshman year I was in an LDR with my (current) ex. I went home almost every weekend to see him and I totally regret it. I basically missed my freshman year in school. Find a balance. Don't neglect your SO, but don't be a hermit either. Good luck

[bananabrain]

Well... I believe he won't be as depressed if he realizes that he isn't alone, and LDRs are quite common. Besides, all transitions are like that. You first feel very nervous and uncomfortable, but soon you get used to it. Just make sure to be there for him, no matter what. I wish you guys luck (:

[laura95]

I've only just started my LDR, starting to get used to it now but I totally understand how he feels. Once the reality hits, you feel quite lonely & the realisation that you can't just see each other like you did before makes you feel even more lonely. I've found that talking on the phone works wonders, it's just really nice to talk & hear each others voices. So just make it a regular thing to call each other, I also find it's nice to have a regular time when you talk instead of just spontaneously, so there's a specific time to look forward to talking, you don't spend time wondering when that time will be. I also find that it's better to call every few days, instead of every single day. Gives you time to find things to talk about, & makes the conversation longer & more fulfilling having lots of things to discuss. Obviously that's just my personal preference, you may be different. Completely not your fault that you don't feel the same way, you will eventually, it's just that you've got your mind set on other things, it's only human. Believe me, once things have settled down & you've got the hang of coping with the relationship (everyone copes different of course, you just gotta figure out your own way) then everything becomes alot easier. It can just seem overwhelming at first, for both of you, but it gets better I promise. Good luck!

[nic&matt]

When one person in the relationship isn't "as busy" as the other it does make it MUCH more difficult. Starting a LDR is already hard enough. This would be the time to always send him quick reminders of your love, sacrifice an hour of sleep every once and a while to calm him down, and maybe send most of your care packages out so he feels included. Once he starts getting into a routine (and you too) everything because much more laid back and relaxing and not to mention enjoyable!
The first 3-6 months are always the hardest. Have things planned out and little goals to accomplish together. Know when your next trip will be (as much as you can) and just try to make it to that date. Let him know that the free time you get is your skype time. Tell him in advance that you're making time for him so mis-communication doesn't happen and ruin any special night.
Best of luck. It gets easier and everyone copes differently. It's all trial and error. Pick each other up if you guys fall off the wagon.

[Hildy]

Thank you for all the great advice! We have a skype date set and he is doing better, and I'm so thankful!

[Riyko]

Something else to consider is to try and plan out trips to see each other depending on the distance like twice a month visit each other (if it's plausable). Like one weekend you can go to him and another weekend he can go to you. I say that because you said he helped you move so i'm assuming your distance isn't too far.

[JennyRW]

I'm on the same position of your bf. My bf had to move because of his job, Im he one who stay here so yeah for who stays is harder becouse who leaves is living new experiences, meeting new people, start in another place takes a lot of their attention, and and school or new job takes time to adapt... But staying on the same without your SO is harder.
You need to remind him that you love him and you miss him. I know my bf loves me, but since we are not CDR anymore I need to heard it more often. I like that my bf and I are txting during the day, little things but we have contact all the time.
Also he should look to distract himself, when I start feeling sad I call my friends to go out, I may not be on the mood of going out but I force myself so I dont get sad alone in home... I have to go to class twice a week and I usually have a lot to read for each class so that maintain me bussy too, maybe he can take come classes... And Im startng to go to the gym to be bussy too