Does anyone else lie about having met?

[Jezah]

My SO and I have never met in person, we met online and fell in love online. Our relationship, to me, is as real as any...but I notice that people have this attitude about being in love and having never met.

This has led to me lying sometimes to people, just minor acquaintances, that we had met for a few days before he went back to England. Whenever I say that people are wayyyyyy more accepting and supportive, I say 'his family is in the UK' to explain why he is there and then tell them he is going into the military there, BUT that he is my boyfriend and I will move there soon.

I was just wondering if anyone else who met online and hasn't met their SO yet feels this urge to lie? I just can't stand the looks and the way people seem to think 'if she hasn't touched him or seen him IRL he must be hiding something and it isn't real'. It really bothers me, and I lie to avoid it, because it seems so stupid that people feel better about it if I had seen him irl for like 3 days...but they do

[Malaga]

Most people who know us don't know we met online. Only the select few friends. My country is a popular tourist destination so people just assume we met while he was here on holidays. His parents think that, and my parents as well. It was inconvenient telling them the truth at the time, so we just let them assume that. And it seems pointless now to set it straight. Maybe we tell them one day. It doesn't seem important though.

[Minerva]

I never had to because we met in person before we fell in love.

BUT we did meet online, and I hate when people ask how we met. I feel like I have to explain we met in an online fandom that's really like a small community, and I didn't need to worry about who he was because we knew so many people in common, and I have met some of our mutual friends at conventions, and that he runs one of the bigger websites in our fandom and thus is well known in the fandom, and that we spent years talking on IM and he knows me better than I know myself...

It all outs me as a huge geek (some people not only can't understand LDRs, they also can't wrap their heads around fandom culture), and because we met online I feel like I need to explain that I had no worries he was who he said he was, and that our feelings ARE real.

I'm not ashamed of how we met, but I do get tired of the judgement and my need to explain it.

[leonsfangirl]

I've always been honest and told anybody who asked that i met my SO via a facebook game and that we haven't met yet. You get a lovely range of looks from horror and shock to pity to awww how romantic. I'm not embrassed of how i met my SO, if anybody has a problem with it then fine but it's there problem.

[kiara_silver]

I don't have many people i talk to other then family. I only have a few friends so I never lied about it. But I did try to avoid mentioning it with my family, because for awhile i liked to not talk so uch about him. But that kind of went out the window when it got closer to him coming here. Still it does help when i tell knew people, now that we met. Like we went to a family party after he had left. And relitives I hadn't seen, she asked me if i had a boyfriend, and before I said anything she goes "and please tell me you didn't meet him online" was like yeah, but then i got to gush properly and say how he treats me good and had what they would think is better proof since it was in person. But in the end it doesn't matter what any one else thinks.

[Tanja]

I don't remember having to lie to anyone about it... But I didn't tell anyone I was dating him before I went to see him for the first time. I just wanted to see how we would get on before announcing it to everyone. My friends thought I was crazy, my dad thought I would get raped or murdered etc. But here I am

I think it's ok to lie a little if it helps people accept your relationship better at first. You can always tell them later and say 'ha-there ya go!'. Whatever works for you.

[Lissy]

BUT we did meet online, and I hate when people ask how we met. I feel like I have to explain we met in an online fandom that's really like a small community, and I didn't need to worry about who he was because we knew so many people in common, and I have met some of our mutual friends at conventions, and that he runs one of the bigger websites in our fandom and thus is well known in the fandom, and that we spent years talking on IM and he knows me better than I know myself...

It all outs me as a huge geek (some people not only can't understand LDRs, they also can't wrap their heads around fandom culture), and because we met online I feel like I need to explain that I had no worries he was who he said he was, and that our feelings ARE real.

My SO and I met because of our shared fandom, too!

To answer the question, I don't lie about how I met my SO, but I'll usually avoid getting into it because explaining the entire thing is kind of too much talking at once for me. I'll say that my girlfriend lives in a different state, and if they ask how we met, I tell the truth, but I typically don't give more information than they ask for.

[Élan]

I lied to one person about where I met my partner (before we had met in person). At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I didn't think that particular person would understand online relationships and I didn't want them to think I was crazy. Unfortunately, I just had to fess up... now that my SO and I are married, I want to clear everything up.

I'd really try to avoid outright lying because it's very awkward to come clean later. I cringe just thinking about it, but at least I have a good conscience now.

[HollzHeartsChris]

The trouble with me is that I tend to be a little too honest and when I tell people about my LDR, and they ask have we met yet, I can't help but admit we haven't and that's when I feel awkward because they raise their eyebrows as if they can't quite believe what I'm saying. Sometimes I lie, and feel bad about it, but at least I don't feel stupid anymore. I'm proud to call Chris my boyfriend, just some people can't accept the fact that he's over there and I'm over here, so I mainly keep my mouth shut.

[Sora1101]

I never lied about it but then again they only people who I have told are really close friends, my parents don't even know about him so I guess you could count that as lying, I mean they always ask when I'll get a boyfriend or if I have one and I always deny it. *shrugs* to me it doesn't matter what people think of my relationship to everyone other than my parents I'm always honest with how we met online and all that jazz, the only reason I don't tell my parents is because he's quite a bit older than I am and I worry that they'd try and cut my communication with him.

[Kwala]

I'm not ashamed of how we met, but I do get tired of the judgement and my need to explain it.

Ahh, this is exactly what I am experiencing too. When we met a few weeks ago in person for the first time, we were amazing together - I'm sure we were literaly glowing. We were on an island and when other vacationers got to know us, they inevitably would ask us how we met. When I described how we met online in a discussion group, I could just see their eyes glazing over. They didn't want to hear that. I think they wanted to know that we had met in very mundane circumstances in real life, a mundane life like theirs, one that they hoped that love would elevate them from.

But noooo, we met ONLINE :P Hey, it's the internet age and people have meaningful encounters in this new medium. We don't need to apologise for that!

Having said that, my SO and I resolved to re-tell our story in a newer and much simpler way. We haven't figured that out, but we are toying with the idea of saying that we were pen-pals Hahaha, that should get the "aww" factor going with the oldies!

[Zapookie]

I met my SO online, but I was always honest about how we met. We held ourselves back from falling in love though until we did meet in person.

[Kwala]

We held ourselves back from falling in love though until we did meet in person.

Same here. Well, maybe my SO was already starting to fall in love but I really needed to meet her and look in her eyes. They don't say "the eyes are the windows to the soul" for nothing!

[uniquefem]

well... i think its depends on your comfort zone.. relationship is a personal matters, even you could choose not to say anything about it.

Personally i wont care what people think about my choices. We can not decide how we will find love, with whom, and how the relationship would be. If we could choose, i bet no one want to be in our position. Its just circumstances made it different, and this person that you never met in person could made you feel happy, why everyone YOU LOVE can not be happy for you?

Take it easy when people react negatively on your LDR, or the fact you never met. Its your life... its your happiness and we all deserve that!

[Engel]

I never had to because we met in person before we fell in love.

BUT we did meet online, and I hate when people ask how we met. I feel like I have to explain we met in an online fandom that's really like a small community, and I didn't need to worry about who he was because we knew so many people in common, and I have met some of our mutual friends at conventions, and that he runs one of the bigger websites in our fandom and thus is well known in the fandom, and that we spent years talking on IM and he knows me better than I know myself...

It all outs me as a huge geek (some people not only can't understand LDRs, they also can't wrap their heads around fandom culture), and because we met online I feel like I need to explain that I had no worries he was who he said he was, and that our feelings ARE real.

I'm not ashamed of how we met, but I do get tired of the judgement and my need to explain it.

im a geek too and love fandons! wich fandon are you into?