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Normal LDR stuff or should I be concerend?

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    Normal LDR stuff or should I be concerend?

    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 1/2 years. We are 250 miles apart for 8 months of the year. The other 4 months I am back home from college and we see each other almost every day. Lately things have been rocky. I just left again a week ago and I'm scared about how things are going. This summer when I was home we fought more than usual but I thought it was just added stress that we both had. The first few days after I left things were going fine. We talked everyday, and I thought things were going to go really well this year. The past few days, however, have been different. We have barely talked because he keeps pushing me away, or atleast that's how I see it. He tells me that he is going to call me after he does a quick chore, or runs to the store, each should only take 30 minutes or so, but he doesn't call me for a couple hours. Yesterday he said it was because he was crabby and just wanted to be left alone. Today he is doing it again and I haven't heard from him. He doesn't answer my calls or texts. I was really upset earlier and needed to talk to him, but he wasn't there for me. Usually he will tell me that he tried to call but his phone isn't working, or that mine just went straight to voicemail. The thing that concerns me is I don't have this problem with anyone else. Plus there are other ways of getting ahold of me if it really wasn't working. Basically I don't know if this behavior is something I should be concerned about or if I'm just being paranoid because of the distance. My worst fear is that he is seeing someone else and I will never find out. Advice would be awesome!! I love him more than anything and don't want this relationship to end, but I don't want to feel like this anymore either.

    #2
    I don't think he's seeing someone else on the side. Most likely it's just either getting hard for him (the whole long distance bit) or he just needs some time alone. You say that y'all used to talk every day? Give it some space. It'll be good for both of y'all. If you can't skip a day of talking then talk right before you go to bed when you don't have anything else to do or do it right when you wake up in the morning. Two years is a long time to be with someone, if y'all have been in such constant contact for so long he might really be feeling it. Guys are like that sometimes. I would suggest talking to him about it first, but seriously just ask him if he wants some space. That doesn't mean you have to go on a break, it just means you'll have more time to yourself, he'll have more time to himself. It's a great thing, trust me. You'll both grow as individuals and develop stronger trust.

    I think y'all will be fine. Don't accuse him of cheating at this point, though. It doesn't seem like he is.

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      #3
      I think he is just getting adjusted to things. My SO and I are in the same situation. We have the summer together and then he goes back to school. It was a huge and hard adjustment for the both of us but it is getting a lot easier. I think you may just need some time to get used to things again.

      Madly in love with Michael


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        #4
        I think you should give him a little of space, don't try to call him or text him, or any contact for some days, to see if he calls you... He should notice the difference between you calling often and then sudenly not calling him, if he cares about you he will call... I think you should talk about what you think and what you feel but dont be calling him to talk because he wont answear, give a little space first.
        I don't think he is cheating on you, I mean it is a posibility, but I dont think that this is the case... Like the person before me said, it is just a big change and you need to adjust to it again.
        Be patience and good luck

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          #5
          I would keep in mind how it seems (maybe this is too much of a generalization or a stereotype) that guys handle the distance differently. I know, for me, I need lots of assurance and lots of contact. But my SO needs time to adjust (we also are distance because of school) so after the summer, new routines always make things feel weird. I know it can be hard not to let your mind race and try to think in his shoes but it might make you feel a little better. Hope everything works out.

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