He Finally Did It and Got His Own Place .... BUT

[Sierra]

Well some of you may know my boyfriend and I had a huge hurdle to overcome which was that he wouldn't let me come visit him based on his current living situation. He was ashamed of the condition that the house he lived in - it was his grandmothers, and it had well I guess gotten very cluttered and what not over the years. That being said, the important thing was that he felt so ashamed he refused to show it to me -- ok, I respected this boundary. (I also know he wasn't hiding anything like a girlfriend or wife)

Yesterday he finally signed a lease for a new place and moves in in just two weeks! I'm so excited for him ... but there's a huge but.

We've talked about closing the distance, but only briefly, as I've never been to Texas I told him I couldn't really say one way or another if I'd move there or not, but if I liked it an there were job opportunities I had no issue leaving here to be with him. He also knows that I'm not very willing to stay long distance for overly a long time.

He signed a lease for 13 months. A year. What if I hate Texas and decide not to move there? This is what's going through my mind and I'm kind of upset that he didn't discuss the actual length of the lease with me.

I guess it is what it is though, right?

[snow_girl]

Would you be moving there for him or for Texas? I moved to Watford, a tiny town with nothing for my bf. Yea its kinda shitty but I'm here with him, we are together and thats what matters. Once I start a job I will start meeting new people and we have his friends to hang out with which I don't mind when they bring their gfs along. I know we are not going to be here for more then 2 years so its not a big deal do me, just a bump in the road.
One year isn't so bad, how bad could texas possible be? I don't know that just by going to visit you would get a real feel for it anyway? Try moving there, if its horrible then move back home.

[LeilaniJoi]

Agreed. I moved to northern Texas where it is very flat, very very dry and not much of anything for miles around. It is completely different than where I am from with lush greenery, hills and the beach close by. I went from a big old sprawling house to a very old little house, in a tiny town with not much of anything to do and left all the things I enjoy (like my horses) behind. I didn't move here for Texas, I moved here for him. At first there was an adjustment but it's feeling more and more like "home" now. We had a houseful of people last night just hanging out, laughing and having a great time.

There is a saying that says "bloom where you're planted." Which means, be happy where you are and make the most of it. If you are with the one that makes your heart smile the landscape and things around you really don't matter much in the long run

What part of Texas if I may ask?

[Sierra]

Would you be moving there for him or for Texas? I moved to Watford, a tiny town with nothing for my bf. Yea its kinda shitty but I'm here with him, we are together and thats what matters. Once I start a job I will start meeting new people and we have his friends to hang out with which I don't mind when they bring their gfs along. I know we are not going to be here for more then 2 years so its not a big deal do me, just a bump in the road.
One year isn't so bad, how bad could texas possible be? I don't know that just by going to visit you would get a real feel for it anyway? Try moving there, if its horrible then move back home.

I'd be moving for him, not for Texas. I live in California, near the beach, I have no idea why I'd really leave other than to be with the man I love. I'm sure by several visits I'll be able to get a good idea of what it's like and what the people are like and see if I'll fit in there. It's a huge difference in culture, politics, and way of life from where I live. So if I did move there it'd be a culture shock.

My issue is he signed a 13 month lease without ever talking to me about it and basically forced my hand in the position to me moving to Texas instead of him coming here.

Agreed. I moved to northern Texas where it is very flat, very very dry and not much of anything for miles around. It is completely different than where I am from with lush greenery, hills and the beach close by. I went from a big old sprawling house to a very old little house, in a tiny town with not much of anything to do and left all the things I enjoy (like my horses) behind. I didn't move here for Texas, I moved here for him. At first there was an adjustment but it's feeling more and more like "home" now. We had a houseful of people last night just hanging out, laughing and having a great time.

There is a saying that says "bloom where you're planted." Which means, be happy where you are and make the most of it. If you are with the one that makes your heart smile the landscape and things around you really don't matter much in the long run

What part of Texas if I may ask?

I would have never been able to leave my horse if I still had him! That must have been so hard.
He lives in Arlington, where are you located?

Who knows maybe I can make friends with you guys when we do close the distance.

[lucybelle]

I moved to Costa Rica to be with my SO. I don't know anyone here. Don't have a job. But like snow_girl said, I'm glad to be here. I'll make friends and stuff eventually. Just takes some time. You gotta make sacrifices sometimes.

[Sierra]

I moved to Costa Rica to be with my SO. I don't know anyone here. Don't have a job. But like snow_girl said, I'm glad to be here. I'll make friends and stuff eventually. Just takes some time. You gotta make sacrifices sometimes.

I'd rather move to Costa Rica than Texas!!!!

[lucybelle]

I'd rather move to Costa Rica than Texas!!!!

Me too!! But one year won't be that bad. It'll be like an adventure

[snow_girl]

I'd rather move to Costa Rica than Texas!!!!

I'd rather be in Texas then rainy ol england

[LeilaniJoi]

Arlington is a couple of hours from us We are up near Wichita Falls. You will be close to the Dallas / Fort Worth area though, lots more greenery down there and A LOT more things to do and see. People in Texas when I moved here were very nice. I never got that "that thar is a stranger... strangers don't last long 'round here" mentality lol I think you may be pleasantly surprised when you visit, especially if we are past the worst of the hot weather for the summer!

[Micah]

Thirteen months isn't really a long time. And by the time you were to move out there, his lease might almost be over. I don't think Texas is a bad place to live. I can think of much worse. And a relationship is all about sacrifice. Hopefully when you go to visit him you will know more about what it's like and maybe your concerns will lessen.

[MadMolly]

You can cancel leases anyway, if you really need to...

[Sierra]

Thirteen months isn't really a long time. And by the time you were to move out there, his lease might almost be over. I don't think Texas is a bad place to live. I can think of much worse. And a relationship is all about sacrifice. Hopefully when you go to visit him you will know more about what it's like and maybe your concerns will lessen.

I think you're probably right.

You can cancel leases anyway, if you really need to...

It generally costs a good amount of money and I'm not going to ask him to cancel his lease. I guess by the time his lease is over we'll know for sure what's going on in our relationship and where to move to, who knows maybe I'll move there for a little bit and then he'll decide he misses visiting California and we'll move back.

I guess there's no real way to divine the future and who knows, maybe I'll love it.

[Mara]

I was so thrilled to read this thread just because I know how big of an issue this has been for you and you will now finally be able to visit him!

I do understand how you feel about him not talking to you before signing the lease. My SO actually did something very similar. I just chalked it up to him not understanding I would have really liked to be included in that decision. And I've been to Arlington a few times, it's not bad. Lots of things to do, really big though if you are a small town girl like me. My SO is actually moving to Texas next year. I'm not sure if I'm going with or not [because I hate Texas], but I do agree with everyone else. I think if you moved to Texas to be with your guy you would be happy.

[lonelyinlove]

I planning on moving to Texas (Galveston area) in order to be with my SO. I will be leaving everything I know, but to be honest, I rather be with my future then clench on to my past. I'm sure you'll make a lot of friends. Plus Texas is huge so I'm sure you will have plenty job opportunities.

I wish you both the best!

[Kerry]

I'm sorry I'm confused- did you both decide that you were going to move down to Texas or do you feel because he signed this lease that you have to move to Texas?