First Boyfriend

[knhdarw]

So I'm in a relationship and he's my first boyfriend well my first everything and I love and would do anything for him. But my question here is how do you know that he's the one if you havent dated around (not that i want to) But ive havent experienced anything with anyone but him and i never will regret that.

Has anyone else on here had you current relationship as your first BF or GF and if so did u eventually marry them?

and how did you know you were in love with them. Dont have alot of support from family on my relationship and my BF has alot of experience in the relationship and dating area so i have nothing to compare my relationship too.

whats yalls opinion can you fall in love and fine the person your supposed to be with for the rest of your life when there your first?

[Rosebud]

Hey there! I can completely relate to how you're feeling since my boyfriend is also my first, and I'm also his first girlfriend! Sure, we've both dated in the past, but that's all it was, just a few dates here and there. When it comes to actually being in a relationship we're each others firsts so it's definitely worrisome at times that neither of us even have any real idea what it is we're talking about. We have spoken about marrying each other and if things continue along like they have I do actually see it happening, and I have known couples in the past who married their first SO.

In any case, if it helps, just think of this-what's the point in wondering "what if" there's someone else out there if you're already happy in the relationship you're in? Do you feel it would be worth it to date around first rather than stay with the one you're with? For some people the answer is yes, and that's okay, because you're right, it can be really scary only being with one person only. Or do you feel that your relationship is something you can't risk giving up and searching elsewhere? It's something you have to really sit down and discuss with yourself and it you're really conflicted you may even consider asking your SO for a break (not a break UP, but a break) in order to gather your thoughts and see how you feel with less contact and communication with him.

Wondering what 'real love' is, I've learned, is something everyone asks at one point or another and I've yet to find a clear, definitive answer to it.

[kteire]

Well, my SO isn't my first boyfriend, but he's my first serious boyfriend. And I'm his first girlfriend! I worry a bit that he might wonder eventually what he's missing with other people... but to be perfectly honest, as someone who's dated a few frogs, you're not missing much!! People only date to find the things that you already have, and if you're happy, the rest doesn't matter I haven't married my SO, but once we close the distance, we'll be moving in together and moving in that direction, hopefully!
Or at least that's the way I feel about it! There's no definitive way to know for sure you love someone, except that when you know, you know. People always said that to me when I was single, and I get it now!!
And as far as if your first love can be the love of your life, well, it really depends on the relationship and the people. Very often first loves don't work out, but they can. One of my coworkers has been with her husband for 40 years-they met when she was 13 and he was 15, and have been together and happy since! She's one of many people I know who married their first love. I don't so much think it matters if he's your first love or second, or third, but depends more on how much effort you put in, how well you work together, and how you feel about each other.
But I dunno, haha. Maybe someone with more experience than me can give a better answer!!

[Minerva]

I married my first love. We're divorced. LOL. But that was just us, it doesn't mean it can't work out. What I learned (and am still learning) from my past relationships is love is about respect, honesty, and looking out at the world from similar views (you can be very different in most ways, but you should both have similar morals/goals/ideas of what makes life worth living.).

With my SO, I feel content, safe, and when I'm around him the word "home" goes through my head constantly. He makes me laugh, he makes me feel pretty and desired, and he makes me feel valued. He also respects me completely. Yes we've bickered (usually about silly stuff, but that's how we are), but we talk and we resolve it. I can be me with him, and he's himself with me. I feel open and loved for exactly who I am. When I think about him, I feel warmed. Talking to him always makes me feel better.

I think that's love. If you feel something like the above for your SO, that's a good sign I think.

On the other hand, having never gone through a relationship, it's hard to know whether you're falling out of the honeymoon phase or falling out of love. It's hard to know if you're in a slump or if it's time to let go. Fights hurt more because you've never had a fight with someone you're in love with before. So keep this in mind: all relationships have ups and downs, everyone fights once in a while (some more than others), and everyone feels like the love is fading sometimes. It doesn't mean the relationship is in trouble. These are the things experience teaches that you might miss out on. Just listen to your gut -- it's always your best guide. I got into the most trouble in my relationships when I ignored my gut.

Good luck.

[knhdarw]

Yea i completely understand I never dated in high school cause i saw how guys were and frankly i wanted no part of the douche bag kinda thing i deserved better lol and i really just wasnt into dating in high school and went to college kinda met a guy i thought i could like we never dated or anything but i wanted to but i'm glad i didnt cause ive known him for a year and all he is is a sex thats all he ever talks about with me and it ust to be fun but now since ive been with my David it makes me uncomfortable and i dont like it. I dont want anyone else nor do i really notice any guy but david anymore idk i think the distance is getting to me rather then the whole What IF thing... I can see me living in a house with him and having a baby and possibly being married one day never wanted any of that for real until i met him he makes me think its ok to want children and to not have to be all focused on school that i can have both a mom and a doctor he makes me happy and loved and cared for and i worry about him more then about myself, i just fearr i mite loose him and i miss him being near me

[garnet]

I married my first love. We're divorced. LOL.

HA! Me too. I think Minerva also makes a great point about just listening to your inner voice. It's something I should have done and didn't, far too many times.

[threecheers9980]

My SO is my first boyfriend and we're planning to get married in October. It's going to sound cliché, but I just know he's the one. The first year of our relationship was a mess (to put it lightly) and I don't think we would have gotten through that unless we were meant to be together.

[kiara_silver]

mhm well my SO is my first bf, and i know im happy with him. I have no wants or desires to be with anyone else. He's not really had alot of dating experience either, but has had a tiny bit more than me. I've asked him to is he happy with sticking with me. Cause i know for some they want to experience whats out there. Sow there oats or whatever that saying is. But im perfectly happy with just him, and he is with me. We both one to get married and start a family. So yes i think it can be possible to find and fall in love and have that with your first love. I think it just takes alot of commitment. I think why alot of first loves fail is because usually your young and haven't hit that mature level. But if you both know what you want and stick through the hard parts and not give up or blow up over little issues, i think you can make it. I hope to be able to say I have only been with one man and he's my husband.

[milaya]

I understand your worries.
My SO is my first boyfriend and we got married around 5 months ago.
My worries started already when it came to saying "I love you" for the first time, since did I actually know how it even felt like? I worried that I did love him, but maybe there was somebody out there I could love even more. Overall I feared my lack of experience, especially when the marriage talk started. At that time there was no doubt in my mind that I loved my SO more than anything, but I still wondered if I was okay with leaving my list of experiences so short. I actually found it a bit unfair, that I couldn't get to experience the whole "falling in love-phase" all over again with another guy, the whole "everything is wonderful phase". But, then I also remembered the heartbreaks and pain that follows a bigger dating experience.

My SO has dated a lot of girls before me (we also have an age difference), but when he talks about those past relationships, he makes me feel more secure about that we do have something special. That even though I had dated other guys before him, I would still probably end up wanting to marry my current SO.

My mom though, likes to joke about that my SO is a bad first boyfriend, since if we ever did split up I would have a hard time adjusting to regular Danish guys. Overall she thinks my SO does too much for me. I would have to get used to suddenly having to pay for things (my SO pays everything), have to get used to carrying my own things and most of all have to get used to dating a guy that does not necessarily try to fulfill all my requests and wishes.

[bluishskin]

There is always a possibility that your first love is the one you are supposed to be with, although I think in my opinion it's hard to know until you jump right into it and experience everything by yourself. Things people experience during marriage are usually different with those they experience when they are still dating. Before marriage we are in love with the personality, but then after marriage we are stuck with the character and you can't change other people's character. I'm not married yet, but I've heard this thing so often from those who have been married for a long time.

My SO is not my first and I feel that until this time we are compatible and we've managed to hang on and sort out a lot of things for almost 2 years. I happen to be his first and he is sure that I'm the one for him. He has felt since not long after we started dating. Hopefully, he's the one for me and we are good for each other. However, I do remember asking him over and over why he was already sure about me whilst not having dated any other girl. There were times when I was worried that he could be missing some things for sticking out with me, and even now sometimes I'm still worried! I've stopped asking that question, fearing that it would sound as if I kept doubting him. Right now we just try to do our best to make things work, obviously including marriage.

When I was dating my ex, there was a point when both of us were sure that we were good for each other, especially him. But after 7 years, I decided to leave him because I gradually felt more and more unsure that things would work out. I'm happy for making the right decision. We were in love with each other, but it turned out we weren't compatible at all.

So I agree with above posts, that you need to sit down and discuss this with yourself, and listen to your inner voice. If there is any doubt about your SO and relationship, perhaps best to step back a little bit and reconsider everything.

[Zephii]

Inner voice totally. I'm so glad I didn't marry my "first love". I didn't love him. I was just afraid. He told me that I loved him, that we were soul mates and I'd never be happy with someone else. I don't know why I believed him, I was a special kind of stupid when I was 15 I guess. (And this thing we had lasted for over four years. You can lie to yourself a long time)

I'm now with my second bf and we're getting married in 5 months. For the longest time I loved him and told myself I didn't. It must have been an infatuation, you can't love someone you've never met blah blah. The point of this ramble, is to listen to how you feel not the shit your mind-voice rambles about.

Also, read. There is very little in life that can't be helped along with knowledge. Sure, experience is great, but knowing other people's experiences and examining why things happen the way they do can teach you a lot. (Not movies, real people, of course!)

That aside, I firmly believe there is no "one" and it's a concept young women need to break themselves of. It's good for movies and marketing expensive perfume, but that's about as far as that goes.

[nicole]

I'm in the process of applying to marry my first boyfriend It is your inner voice that tells you for sure My SO has had several girlfriends before me, and I think he was worried I would eventually want to "shop around", but I've never had any desire to look, or be with, anyone else, not even "to make sure" I love my SO. I've been in love before, but with someone who never gave me the time of day- he knew about it, and took advantage of it. Now I have a healthy, stable, loving relationship, and I know this is the man I want to marry and be with for the rest of my days, I'd never throw it away on the off chance there may be someone better. I guess I feel lucky I got it right pretty much first time

[Hildy]

I am in a similar situation as you. I have had one other boyfriend before my current SO, but my previous relationship ended badly because it turned out that all the guy was interested in was sex, and I wanted a relationship.

So, my current SO is not my first boyfriend but he is my first love. I know I love him. I am very certain about this. There is no marker or indicator of when you are in love with someone. Its a discovery that is different for each person. When you love him or her, you will know. In my opinion, the same goes for knowing that your SO is the one or not. I think it would be easier to be more sure if you dated around more because you would have more experience and have a better understanding of what exactly it is that you want in an SO, but I also believe that it is possible to know that your current SO is the one without a lot of prior dating experience. It all depends on what you feel.

I also have had little support from my family. My mom's side of the family is supportive of us, but my dad's and step mom's families are not. Family opinions are important, but if you know what your feeling is true and your sure your making the right decision, I wouldn't let what they say sway you too much.

Hope that helps. I'm still trying to figure all this out myself. If you ever want to talk, just message me.