lots of outside doubt...

[silence94652]

I leave on August 14th for college at East Carolina University, leaving my SO Garrett here in high school. He'll be a junior. People have been asking me if we plan on staying together through when I leave. My answer? ...Duh. I love him in a way I haven't loved anyone else. He doesn't take away from anything about me. If anything, he builds me up and makes me feel like more of my own person than ever. He supports me in every way, even to the point where I got up the confidence to audition for ECU's music school, the best around where I live. I got in, and I'm going, obviously. The school is a little over two and a half hours away and I'll have a car. We're both absolute band geeks and percussionists so we have a very uncommon bond. We've been friends for about two years and have always been close. We tell each other everything and love it that way. I'm the happiest and most optimistic I've ever been.

But it seems like everywhere I look I see something about how "high school relationships can't last." Is the world really that pessimistic? Or am I just crazy? I plan to be a high school band director. He wants to be an engineer. He's the most mature and level-headed person in high school I've met over four years. He really does improve my life. I know that there are exceptions to every rule, but I've been told it's stupid to think we're the one couple in however many that will "make it." I know people grow and change but, if anything, we've grown TOGETHER in a huge way in the past year. In my book, it's all systems go. His too. He's totally devoted to me and I to him. There isn't a cheating bone in either of our bodies.

I guess what I need to find out is if anyone out there actually doesn't doubt that we can last. The thought of us breaking up makes me sick to my stomach. I would never just break up with him because I'm leaving. That's why I joined this site.

[garnet]

PM sent!

[lunamea]

Welcome to the site! Obviously, I can't tell you that the two of you will certainly make it, but no-one can tell you the opposite, either! You seem to be going strong, so hold on to that and keep in mind that if no-one had believed they would be the one in a million to "make it", a lot of things wouldn't have been achieved in this world!

[agentholli]

Usually when people tell you you aren't giong to make it and this and that that is negative, they are just jealous! No one can say yes or no to you working but I do see that both of you are willing and wanting to make it work. It sounds like you love him and he loves you...and that is all that matters. It doesn't matter if people think you will work or not. There is oposition in all things. When something is a great and wonderful thing, evil will try to pull it apart. Keep strong and you will make it!

[xsomanymilesx]

i agree with holli, people are ignorant and its your choice if you want to stay together and the best of luck in doing that, as long as you two are confident in how you feel and what you want from the reletionship (it seems you are) then everyone else can walk on! dont let anyone pressure you into making a decision you will regret, and yeah to an exstent its true high school reletionships don't last, but some do! the same can be said for LDRs, some last, some dont, but you always always learn from them, if you didnt do sometihng because there was a risk it wouldnt last, i guarentee no one on earth would be doing hardly anything at all, we wouldnt be living, and you are living your life and having an amazing reletionship which is fantastic!
good luck at ECU... im sure you will go far!

[PChillout]

First of all, congratulations on joining LFAD! As I'm sure you know these forums serve as a haven for countless couples in all sorts LDR's. I'll be the first to admit that when one of my best friends told me she had become involved in an LDR with a boy from England, I tore into her and wouldn't let up. I would do my best to convince her that this was the worst thing she could do to herself and she would only be setting herself up for an inevitable heartbreak. This went on for months and months until I finally just gave up and accepted that this is really what she wanted and I could see she really did love him. I never cease to find it ironic that soon after I found myself in the same situation with a girl from England as well! Aww fate, you sneaky son of a bitch! Judging from what I told my friend, I wouldn't say that the world is pessimistic about LDR's, just skeptical. LDR's are a very modern form of relationship and are becoming increasingly popular with the expansion of the internet and thousands of communication options readily available. More and more will start blooming and eventually it'll become something that is just as accepted as a CDR. I like to think our generation are the beta users of the LDR and in a few years it'll become not necessarily a societal norm, but an accepted form of a relationship. I dont feel anger or any other sort of resentment to people who criticize my relationship or any other LDR. It's merely something they don't understand and never will unless they've been in one. Ignorance is bliss, yes? Stay strong and rest assured that everyone on here is supporting you two 100%. There is always a light at the end of even the darkest tunnel. Don't let others bring you down. You can do this!

Peace & Love

[silence94652]

thank you so much everyone :] it helps a lot to hear the things i've been thinking for a long time.

[archangel]

different way of putting it PChillout... LDRs becoming just as accepted as CDRs. I agree with you, just that will take time since lots of LDRs (including mine)span cross cultures and bring together two people from different (and sometimes the same) parts of the world. Also I wouldn't really say people don't understand all because of ignorance, it could just be the way they were brought up was focusing around endogamous relationships more than exogamous relationships.

really... Once you are in a Long Distance Relationship, the "Distance" becomes just a figment of your imagination... oh, wait... am I dreaming?
Why I say this? Unlike some CDRs, most LDRs contact each other everyday to talk to each other, hear each other and kiss each other over webcam (or whatever you might do to show your love to your SO). Heh... most of the members you will meet on LFAD (including me) talk to their SO (Significant Other) everyday for hours upon hours.

Long Distance Relationships last and work! Even though other people you know in CDRs say they don't. Maybe because they don't understand and Ignorance like PChillout said or Maybe it could be the refusal to accept that the world culture is changing and the boarders which once where uncrossable relationship wise are now broken. Also...approaching this from another angle; when you think about the world today with the chaos (in my opinion) happening everything there is also an increase in pessimism towards the whole outward view of the world. Why ruin a good thing? Everyone really should just try and let the love in... it won't hurt, it will make everyone (hopefully everyone) realize how beautiful our world is.

So people say LDRs or High School Relationships don't last... don't let that stop you! Prove them wrong by having your relationship last and show your love to the world

AA

[Mio]

Welcome girl!!! Don't listen to people and to negative thoughts about relationships. Best wishes in your relationship!

[So_Far_Away]

I finished school two years ago now. People who were together even if for a few months at school are still together. The majority in fact. It can work out - don't listen to people who don't know!