-Sigh-

[Sharon Q]

Does everyone here talk to you SO daily?

My SO doesn't have a phone yet, So we only talk on facebook.
Before he moved we talked every single day. But then again he that was before his dad became a major prick and shut off his phone.

He is living with his mom, Step dad, younger brother and sister.

Before it was just him and his dad. So he isn't used to having a full house.
He has hardly any privacy.

Its been about a month and a week, soon to be a month and a half after this week.

I've tried setting times to talk at night and he said he's busy and gets tired at random times during the day.
Understandable so I dropped it. He sorta met me half way without saying anything tho.

We started talking anywhere between a 8pm-11/12pm time frame, We never set a time because of his above statement. But we just started talking in between those times.

But we don't talk every night, I can understand that. He is busy or tired or needs time to his self.
But idk its been weird lately, Like he will just not get on for a few days at a time, which make me feel like we are growing distant emotional wise. He does this with out any warning tho,

Again I can understand if you get booked with stuff and family and can't get on... but couldn't he at least say
" Sharon I'm gonna be busy for the next few days or " I want some time to myself, love you "

Its just I feel so distant and it fucking hurts like, I'm almost expecting us to brake up when he doesn't talk to me in 42 hours or 72 hours. But then when we talk everything seems okay and is normal.

He's told me we are doing good and when I asked
" I'm just curious tho is there anything I could do to make you happier with the relationship? "
He simply replied " seeing you lol " <3

When he was here I always tried to hard and showed too much affection so he would feel overwhelmed and not be able to show me any. So when that would happen I would back off and let him come to me.


Here is our conversation from Sunday night.

Me : O_O BOO

Robert: Not wanting to talk. In a writing mood.

Me: okay.

A little while later he post a status.

" I did my time, and I want out. " ( being that he deals with depression and has been suicidal in the past this caused me some concern )

Me : are you okay?

Robert :Just because I don't want to talk doesn't mean I'm not alright.

Me: no, I was asking because I saw your status. I understand if you want you time, I don't mind and I'm not upset about it

Robert : ok goodnight. love you.

Me: You're not upset at me are you?

Robert: goodnight.

Me : night I guess.

He got offline or at least of off the chat.

I then posted a status saying " I guess being concerned just gets people upset at you "

My friends commented I wont post that tho because there are 17 comments.

Basically one friend said " well fuck em you were just being nice "
I said no, I think I just need to give them some space. ( btw they didn't know I was talking about my bf )
Another guy friend of mine commented " maybe who knows at least they know you care "

I replied " Yeah, I think its just stress getting to both of us. A lot of changes have been made in the past month. I think I just need to meditate and clear my head. Thanks guys. "

And the rest are just me and Darryl talking, he asked to hang out and I invited him to join me at a halloween party my girlfriend was having. ( Robert doesn't want me hanging out with male friends alone other than a select two whom are like brothers to me.

SOOO

I sent Robert a message saying

" I'm gonna give you some space for a little while. I don't want to end things, I just want to give you some " you time " Message me when you want hon I love you <3 "

and another 8 hours ago.

"I'm sorry. I love you. Movie Friday night ?"

I'm not going to send him anything more because I promised him space, I want him to come to me....

Sorry this is so long. Thank you for still reading.

I just feel so emotionally distant from him now.... I keep thinking something is wrong.

Just do any of you deal with things like this?
How do you handle it.
I feel so fucking insecure, like he will leave me just to be with someone closer.

Also another status I posted after he got offline.

" I keep forgetting that everything has changed for you in such a small time span, I keep forgetting that I was your bestfriend too. I keep forgetting that you are probably hurting as much as I am. I feel as if I have been so inconsiderate. Damn these thoughts and insecurities. "

But again idk if he saw either status, and he hasn't been on all day. So idt he will see them.

-Sigh- I need friends, I need out of my house, I need my boyfriend... I'm so fucking lonely.

[Joyce:)]

I'm sorry you're going through this, and i'm sorry he's making you feel so miserable, he should not respond to you like that. Even though he was tired he should give you some sort of explanation. You're in this together, he can't back off without saying why, expecting you to just wait.
Hugs

[JennyRW]

I don't have any advise But I'm sorry for this situation between you and your bf. For me it sounds like the lack of privacy makes him really unconfortable to talk, when I don't have privacy I just don't say much. Do you know if he is planing to by a phone?
I guess you did right giving him a little time, but the question is how much time that would be? His attitude is a little selfish :s But I understand that depresion can make someone get far from who care about them without the intention of doing it.
I hope everything will be better and you two will talk soon
Good Luck!

[Zapookie]

I agree with Joyce. He should at least explain why he's feeling like that instead of shutting you down when you try to talk to him. I guess when my SO would do this, it would make me feel like I'd done something wrong, and then you feel like poo until the next time you talk to them. Just keep your chin up. What's meant to be will be, and if he's not going to put any effort in, then you can't hold the entire weight of the relationship. It's a joint thing.

[Sharon Q]

Yeah. I think for him it is the major lack of privacy but they are moving in November and then he will have his own room so I'm just going to wait it out until then. Ironically I just got a call saying I start school in November. The school gives you a place to stay and biweekly allowance so I can save money to see him.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I'm sorry this is happening to you right now, but you need to stay strong If he's not having enough privacy, he might not actually be saying much perhaps because he's being watched or something, instead of it just being because he's upset and needs some space? Still, he should give you an explanation as to why he's not talking much. All I can advise you to do is stay strong, be patient, give him some time and he'll come around. Moving house might help him, especially if he has his own room in the new house. Best of luck, and I hope things work out soon

[Rugger]

I'm sorry you are going through this sweetie. It's not right for him to shut you out without letting you know why. I would feel the same way if my SO acted like yours is. I would just leave him alone as hard as it is. Try and keep yourself busy and hang out with your friends. He'll come around *hug*

[Zephii]

I didn't read the other repiles so if I repeat anything I'm sorry.

I think he's being a self-centred disrespectful prick, depression or not. Having a sickness doesn't give you an automatic right to be a jerk. Seriously.

In response to the first question: My SO and I (will be LD again in a week) do our best to talk daily. There have been times in the past where we couldn't, because I'd be in a place without internet, or rarely, he would be. (We're international, and never used to have smartphones or data or any of that.) This time, we should be able to talk every day. But like before if we can't we will alert the other beforehand, let them know where we will be, how long for, and send a text or two to tide us over. (not a text conversation or two - just one or two messages).

But, the important thing for you to remember is you're not doing anything wrong, so you need to not blame yourself. He wants space, so you need to give it to him. You don't really have a choice. But, it isn't right for him to treat you this way for an extended perios of time regardless of what he's going through.

[LeilaniJoi]

Agreed, it's never right for him to answer you like he did. Do you have any hobbies or activities you enjoy or would like to try? Stay busy, stay occupied, get out of the house. Definitely do NOT sit around waiting for him to come online only to blow you off like that. He's being very inconsiderate but at the same time, if you give him space then more than likely he will come around. My SO and I were in contact nearly 24/7 all the time, every day. We were lucky we both had phones and unlimited texts but even if he was drawing or I was writing, we still had a chat window open or were on voice even when we weren't saying a word, just "being" together. If he had ever answered me like what you posted, I believe I would have given him a wide berth and made him come crawling back. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, depression or not.

[Sharon Q]

Thanks guys, I just asked him if he could let me know from now on, I'm waiting for a reply. He's busy packing his parents are moving into a house instead of a trailer so that means he will have his own room meaning we will get to talk more possibly.
So I'm just trying to wait it out until then. I will let you guys know what he said once he replies.

[Kerry]

because my bf doesn't have his new cell phone yet we can go days without speaking to each other. he'll try to snag his roommates cell and call me for a few minutes if we haven't spoken for 3-4 days. the longest we went w/o speaking on the phone was 6 days and I honestly was miserable. we did talk on FB and sometimes we were on there at the same time but I've found that I need to speak to him on the phone too. I personally need some kind of live interaction with him and when we haven't had that I've actually gotten quite miserable!

I agree with the others- not having enough privacy could be driving him crazy. ((hugs))