I dont know what to do, I never expected to see this message

[LizW88]

So last night my boyfriend and I had been talking about the next time we were going to see each other, we had discussed early January and then he said actually he wouldnt be able to until June due to work and finances. I initially got very upset and mentioned that I couldnt go that long with out seeing him and cant do this sort of relationship forever. I regret saying that now but we continued talking and i apologized for getting so upset and said I would do whatever it takes to get him here sooner and no matter what he's worth the wait. We planned on discussing all of our future goals together soon so we both know what to expect as an end result.

I thought things were ok til about 2 am when I got this message.

"so tired this morning, thoughts running through my head all night
i keep thinking that i dont want to force you to take some rubbish job to have no life to see me for a couple days every 6 months or even longer. that hurts me soo much to think of that.
also what happens when i go back to university? as i will have to take a year off work and then have no money to go to the states for well over a year. plus i need to save so much money to allow me to take such a long time off work
when do you want to go to university to study so you can get a good job?"

I dont know what to think or do. I feel like he is thinking its not worth it on his end or why would he say those things? I mean even if it takes another year or two, we'd be together after that- we've talked about moving on way or the other once certain things are accomplished. He says we can talk when he's done working but its killing me in the mean time.

If anyone could offer any thoughts/opinions/suggestions that would be greatly appreciated. I'm a wreak right now.

[Zephii]

I think this shows great maturity on his part actually. I'd be proud of him rather than affraid.

Can you go a year without seeing him? This is one thing he's asking. He's not going to have the money to see you, and he knows it's wrong to expect you to carry the relationship for a year or more.
He's also saying he realises your lives affect each other, that when you go to uni is important to him and vise versa. This is good.
Do you want to go to uni? There are plenty of great rewarding jobs that you don't have to go to uni to get into. Do you know what it is you want to do with the rest of your life?

You's just need to talk some more. Don't panic, or get over emotional, because that wont help you. You need to make a solid logical plan (and a back up plan too) that at the end of it you both end up with carrers (assuming you want one) and together.

The other thing to consider here is that men and women look at carrers and relationships differently. The easiest way to say it is: He feels about his carrer the way you feel about your relationship. I know that can be very disapointing as a realisation, but if you both approach things with this in mind from a basis of mutual respect, you'll get there. You will. Don't give up hope.

[LizW88]

Thank you very much for your input. I have been weighing my options and not sure what I want to do career wise, I'm kind of flexible as far my future goes and was hoping this would help our unpredictable situation. I just got done speaking to him, and he was just worried I'm not doing things to make myself happy. I have been trying to convince him that I am happy and dont mind making sacrifices and dont mind paying for visits as its all worth it to me. We still have a lot of 'future things' to discuss but I really want him to realize I'll do anything for us to work but im not doing anything that isnt making me happy.