So she ended it this morning. She feels the distance is making her feel guilty at the fact that she can't give me what I need and makes me worry. I told her everything can be fine if she would just text me with something like "I'm pretty busy this week". I can't change how she feels but if she had communicated more it wouldn't have come down to this. I'm completely crushed......
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.and it IS done.
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So sorry things turned out like this. Communication is so very important and doubly so for LD. Time will heal your pain... hang in there.Three words. Fill my racing mind. Leave me breathless. Lost in time.
Three words. Fill my endless dreams. Repair my heart. Mend the seams.
Three words. Fill your heart too. Three words pronounced. I love you.
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You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.
Met online: 12/24/10 Met In Person: 2/24/11 Distance Closed: 4/24/11
Not one regret, not one backwards look, only towards the future and beyond!
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I fought and won! Well, sort of. We worked things out. She was worried about me being worried about her because due to my anxiety issues she knows how I get. She was starting to feel really guilty with everything going on on her end that she couldn't get back to me which had me stressing out. She thought maybe we should take a break, which I think was for my sake so I wouldn't stress about her not returning calls or texts. I told her I don't ever want a break from her. I feel like that is running away instead of dealing with the issue at hand. I let her know that if she has a lot going on and won't be able to get back to me for a bit, just tell me. The only reason why I was worrying so much was the because I never heard from her and for all I knew at the time she could have been really sick or something. I was supposed to go meet her in Washington this week for her cousin's wedding but she felt that it would be hard for her to see me right now with all the stuff going on in her life (like might not being able to stay in school due to financial reasons so might have to move back home and also coming down with Mono)
that seeing me and then we separate again would be really hard on her and I don't want to add anymore stress to her life right now. This distance is only a microsecond to the life we will be living together eventually so if I can't see her and that helps her in some way then I am all for canceling the trip. That's how much I love this woman. So I am giving her the space she needs and she will call me when the chaos has simmered a bit and that is fine with me. She was very appreciative of my understanding everything. I replied with "Of course, 'You're my girl' " in the Forrest Gump accent. That got a laugh out of her. I think the only thing that left me unsettled a bit is that she didn't say she loved me in the last text she sent, but I think that is stupid to read into since she has so much going on. I don't doubt her love for me. Whew, that was a lot to write down, but it feels good to share with all of you that have helped me with your kind words and advice. So thanks again
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