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Do you ever feel left out?

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    Do you ever feel left out?

    Maybe its just me, but sometimes when my boyfriend has things going on in his life. I feel left out. Maybe its different for me because we both have children, but he has his children this weekend...and he is texting me, keeping me up to date on what they are doing and what not, and it makes me feel left out. I just got a text from him saying they were going to watch a movie..and I feel sad.

    We talk alot about how its going to be when we are all together, and how much fun our kids will have together and what it will be like to do certain things with them...and i just feel sad, and I have pointed it down to feeling left out.

    What I wouldn't give to be curled up next to him and have our children surrounding us, eating popcorn and laughing at a movie...sigh!

    #2
    Yeah, I think all of us feel that every once in a while. My boyfriend was at a movie last night with a bunch of friends. He does the same thing with constantly texting me and keeping me updated (till the movie starts, why text during a movie?). Still, it would be nice to be next to him :/. Oh well, I have the comfort that he's a complete dork who texts me constantly even though I don't ask him to xD. Fortunately he's slow so I'm not getting annoyed by the constant messages @_@.

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      #3

      Even though my husband cannot text me (and I can only text him from the internet w/o it being super-expensive), I still feel left out, especially when I get the feeling that he's really close with his friend and they're meeting up all the time (jealousy comes into play, too), doing stuff that I'd like to do with him but which I know we won't do together much even when I get back (clubbing, playing pool etc.) He just has certain things he likes to do with his friends and others that he likes to do with me and he seems to keep them separate, which I don't like, really. So, in these cases, I do feel left out, especially because I don't know his friends - I don't even care to know one of them that he's meeting all the time because I've heard some bad stuff about this guy and I'm not really happy about this jerk being friends with my hb, anyway, and I've never met the others, either (the reason for that is partly that, before I went abroad, they were not close friends and have only been meeting more since my hb is alone). As I don't really like that one friend of his, my hb has kinda stopped telling me about him, too, which makes me feel even more left out.
      So, I think, as long as he keeps texting you, you should try to focus on the upsides, because that is clearly a way of trying to incorporate you by letting you know what they're doing.

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        #4
        I do feel pretty left out when my boyfriend does things without me. We discussed this (we both feel this way quite often), and we think that the feeling is strongest when one of us goes out with friends or family to do something that we'd normally do together (like watch a movie).

        However, I'd feel a lot more left out if he didn't give me details :P I can remember a few times before we started dating, he'd suddenly disappear in the middle of a conversation and not tell me what was going on for hours. I always felt pretty miserable after that : p At least this way, even if I can't be with him, I know what's going on in his life. I definitely appreciate being updated via text.

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          #5
          I don't feel that way because Andy is in Uni so he doesn't really have time to see his friends very often cause they all live quite far away so it's more like I wish he could see them more, go to movies, play football etc and do normal things with them.
          He does spend time with his family when they go out for dinner and stuff but it never makes me feel left out, I know he still thinks of me and loves me just the same.

          He goes to footy games quite often that take all day cause they're out of his town but it never bothers me, I'm sad sometimes that I don't get to see him that day but it's something he loves to do and enjoys so it's not a problem for me. And he texts me whenever he gets the chance so that always makes me happy.


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            #6
            *hugs* i've never had to deal with it when kids are involved because i dont have kids, but i imagine its worse than anything; just wanting to be a family but cant.
            i sometimes feel left out when he talks about his friends ( they all seem really awesome.. but i wouldnt know.. ) and its like... hmmph i wish i was there and we could do stuff together and in that way i feel a bit left out. i think i'm the same as you because we dont want to be like dont do this dont do that because your making me feel excluded, its just we yern to be involved... its just times when we want a CDR reaaallly bad. i hope you feel better soon xxxx

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              #7
              Oh all the time. I know before she goes to see me she's going with a friend to Australia and i wish i could go with her, I do feel left out all the time but eventually we'll be able to do alot of things together

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                #8
                [QUOTE=xsomanymilesx;11674 i think i'm the same as you because we dont want to be like dont do this dont do that because your making me feel excluded, its just we yern to be involved... its just times when we want a CDR reaaallly bad. i hope you feel better soon xxxx[/QUOTE]

                EXCATLY! I want him to hve fun and do things with his children, and his friends..that doesn't bother me. Its just that I want to be there so bad it makes me feel left out.

                Thanks everyone!! At least I know I am not alone in this feeling and I hope that all of you don't have to feel this way very often

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                  #9
                  Pfff I know what it is like. When he goes out with friends or family I do feel left out, but there's nothing I can do about it so when he comes back he tells me how it was, and knowing that he enjoyed it kind of makes me enjoy it too.. and I do the same.

                  And sometimes he tries to take pictures so he can show me later

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                    #10
                    Some times it's hard not to feel left out, especially when you have really good days or exciting things happen in your life that you want to share. That's not even taking into consideration all the little things we do each day that we think "Hey... It would be nice to share this with him." Jason and I try to share with each other what's happened in our day whether it be small or a great event.

                    Lately it's been difficult because there have been so many fun/exciting things happen in our lives, and we've both felt left out quite often. I know there will be other days we can share with each other, but it still doesn't help the left out feeling or make me miss him less.
                    “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

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                      #11
                      Yeah... We've had a couple incidents and talks about it. He's not really busy and neither am I. And we're both homebodies, so we pretty much spend most of our time (when we have it) together at home. We love talking with each other, so it hasn't been much of an issue. But I know what you mean. We're both kinda clingy to each other (not in an unhealthy way, we just really like spending time with one another), so when one of us goes out we do miss the other. ^^;; I guess we're lucky that we kinda lead boring lives lol

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                        #12
                        I do feel left out sometimes. Rane has a very close family and every week they have dinner/movie night... I've never had anything like this, and I some weeks pity party myself as I wait for him to get home, lol. I don't begrudge him time with his parents, I just wish I could be there too, or that I had a family that I could do things with too.

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                          #13
                          I feel left out a lot as well. I wish I could be there and witness everything going on around him, but I can't.. so it tends to bother me a little bit. I don't want to be selfish and make him stay online or on the phone, so we try to make dates for each other.
                          It's going to be hard in May for me because his birthday is May 9th and mine is May 11th and we're not going to get to spend it together.
                          This is exactly how it should feel when it`s meant to be

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                            #14
                            I feel left out right now. My bf is at a wedding reception and we havent talked since 7 this morning. He is trying to text me but it makes me even more sad when I get a text. I wont be able to talk to him until tomorrow morning...and im so sad...

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                              #15
                              I definitely feel left out. He likes his new roommate and even his new neighbors (he lives on base in the apartments) and so he does stuff with them a lot. I'm really glad he's out and doing stuff, he was kind of alone for a while bc most of his good friends were done with active duty and back home or had resigned and requested a different base. But I can't help but feel left out....I'd DEFINITELY prefer him to be doing all that stuff with me! I tell him, "I'm jealous. They're getting WAY too much time with you when I have none." But I remind myself that I'd rather him out doing stuff that moping around the house alone!

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