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Am I Doing The Right Thing By Loving My SO?

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    #1

    Am I Doing The Right Thing By Loving My SO?

    I last posted a thread on anger management. I apologized to her for my behavior, and she accepted it.

    I'm trying to be confident with maintaining my relationship, but so many friends and family members are pessimistic about LDRs in general. Some people tried to bring me down by trying to break us up. I lost confidence in adamantly believing that I should stick with her, since we are both happy when we talk to each other.

    I don't know if my girlfriend is worth caring and struggling for... how do I ask myself?
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    #2
    I don't understand. It sounds like you are already thinking that your gf isn't worth caring and struggling for?

    Why don't you write down what you enjoy doing with your SO and why you are with her in the first place?

    You could also show your family and friends this site? This site has many couples that have overcomed the distance and are living together CD Might show them that LD can work.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Madge View Post
      I don't understand. It sounds like you are already thinking that your gf isn't worth caring and struggling for?

      Why don't you write down what you enjoy doing with your SO and why you are with her in the first place?
      I do. But my parents criticized her for being ill (she has fibromyalgia), and she has certain flaws that I can't overlook. They're also not very happy with my decision to move back to America after I graduate from my college in Japan. They accused me of choosing the wrong person. That was enough to damage my confidence with her.

      I will do that. Thank you so much!

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        #4
        Let me tell you something now. My parents don't approve. My friends don't approve. Nobody I know truly understands what it's like to be in a LDR. My parents tried to stop me from being with my SO, but I haven't and I won't give up. I love my SO too damn much. I have to maintain our contact in secret daily, and so does he. We have to keep our love for one another a secret, from both our parents. We can't tell them just yet, not until the time is right. He and I both suffer from a lot of different things. I have this thing where the cartilage in my chest bone is inflamed and causes me to be in excruciating pain 24/7, and sometimes I can't breathe for the pain. He gets a lot of pain in his back because he's done so much heavy lifting in the past. I can't stress enough how much I understand where you're coming from, but it pains me to see you thinking like this. Ask yourself, why am I in this LDR? Because you love your SO. You must do, or you wouldn't be in one.

        DON'T listen to what people tell you because they WANT your faith in your LDR to waver. It's not impossible to make one work, and my SO and I and practically everyone else on this site is proof that LDR CAN and ARE being overcome. It's your decision to make in life as to what you want to do, not anyone else's. You obviously love your SO, so don't give in to doubt. Or you may just regret it.

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          #5
          I think you've already answered your own question.
          "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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            #6
            Originally posted by bananabrain View Post
            I do. But my parents criticized her for being ill (she has fibromyalgia), and she has certain flaws that I can't overlook. They're also not very happy with my decision to move back to America after I graduate from my college in Japan. They accused me of choosing the wrong person. That was enough to damage my confidence with her.
            I think you've already made up your mind about her. Clearly other people's opinions weigh too much on your scale. I hope you find a partner everyone you know will approve of!


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              #7
              Originally posted by bananabrain View Post
              I do. But my parents criticized her for being ill (she has fibromyalgia), and she has certain flaws that I can't overlook. They're also not very happy with my decision to move back to America after I graduate from my college in Japan. They accused me of choosing the wrong person. That was enough to damage my confidence with her.
              I think you've already made up your mind about her. Clearly other people's opinions weigh too much on your scale. I hope you find a partner everyone you know will approve of!


              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by Tanja View Post
                I think you've already made up your mind about her. Clearly other people's opinions weigh too much on your scale. I hope you find a partner everyone you know will approve of!
                Not entirely. I can disregard other people's opinions (even if it comes from my parents), and I can learn how to accept her flaw. It's just that we went through so much, so it's too early to make a decision. I just need to do some soul-searching.

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                  #9
                  To me it sounds like you don't want to be with her. Let her go so the both of you can find someone who loves you for who you are. And doesn't notice "flaws"

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