Would you be upset?

[Rugger]

I've never had been upset with my SO, I think I can't be upset with her. So I wouldn't.

Did you ask him "what do you think about my outfit?" If you asked it the normal is that he answers but if you didn't... don't wait too much. I agree with what Moon said about guys. We don't care or don't notice these things often... Plus, what about if he noticed but he didn't like that? Maybe he likes another style.

If the reason he didn't say anything is because He doesn't care, I need to re-evaluate my relationship. It would be different if I dressed up all the time, every single time I saw him, but I don't. This is only the second time he's ever seen me in a formal dress, the first dressed up like this. No I didn't ask him, I thought it was obvious. Sweet.

[Tabitha]

I wouldn't be very upset. Some guys just really don't notice things like that. My guy is the same way. It's not their fault. They're just wired that way, for lack of a better term.

[Enric]

If the reason he didn't say anything is because He doesn't care, I need to re-evaluate my relationship. It would be different if I dressed up all the time, every single time I saw him, but I don't. This is only the second time he's ever seen me in a formal dress, the first dressed up like this. No I didn't ask him, I thought it was obvious. Sweet.

I think you're being too exigent with him and giving too much importance to it. No, it wasn't obvious. No everyone thinks like you. What did you wait that he say and do? He doesn't have super powers, he can't read your mind. He probably didn't know that you were waiting for. If you want something talk to him and ask what you want. He can love you for what you are and no the way you dress. So why re-evaluate your relationship just because this?

[princessmeg1328]

I would be upset. I think it's something that should happen anytime you take time out to look nice but especially on special occasions. Talk to him and let him know that you would appreciate it if he would compliment you when you take time to dress up. He won't know unless you tell him.

[WakeUpSusie]

Yeah Rugger, don't jump to any conclusions just yet. He's a guy, and not all guys are as vocal as we'd like them to be about the way that we look. I'm sure he thought you looked beautiful because I bet you did look stunning

If it bothers you that much, I'd definitely talk to him though.

[Rugger]

It just kind of adds on to what I've been feeling lately. I feel like he's bored because our conversations are somewhat lacking. The fact that he didn't say anything kind of compounds it for me.

I'm sorry for getting shirt with you Enric. You just gave me the truth and I was upset.

Ack, I'll talk to him tonight about it. I thought this feeling would go away after a couple days and it's just getting worse. I just feel really stupid about being upset about something so dumb. I ALWAYS tell him how nice he looks when he dresses up or when I like how something looks on him, in fact I told him at the wedding. I go out of my way to make him feel good about himself.

[ImInLove]

I am a guy, if you get all dressed up and look really nice AND we dont say anything, we're trying to tell you you are beautiful, equally beautiful as before, without the makeup etc

[snow_girl]

I am a guy, if you get all dressed up and look really nice AND we dont say anything, we're trying to tell you you are beautiful, equally beautiful as before, without the makeup etc

That makes no sense whatsoever

[ImInLove]

really. haha i thought it did.
I mean to say. If you dress up and we don't say anything, it could be because we are sending you a message... the message is, the fancy dress and make up isnt what makes you beautiful, you're already beautiful just the way you are. So we might see you the same way if you were wearing a garbage bag, or a nice dress... beautiful. (perhaps a ladies definition of beautiful is different to a guys)

Well it makes sense to me.

[Moon]

really. haha i thought it did.
I mean to say. If you dress up and we don't say anything, it could be because we are sending you a message... the message is, the fancy dress and make up isnt what makes you beautiful, you're already beautiful just the way you are. So we might see you the same way if you were wearing a garbage bag, or a nice dress... beautiful. (perhaps a ladies definition of beautiful is different to a guys)

Well it makes sense to me.

A quick word of advice....don't try that in real life. If a woman makes the effort to look extra pretty for YOU, acknowledge it. Your "subtle" message isn't doing you any favors You can tell her she's just a beautiful either way, but at least appreciate the effort she made to make you happy.

[snow_girl]

really. haha i thought it did.
I mean to say. If you dress up and we don't say anything, it could be because we are sending you a message... the message is, the fancy dress and make up isnt what makes you beautiful, you're already beautiful just the way you are. So we might see you the same way if you were wearing a garbage bag, or a nice dress... beautiful. (perhaps a ladies definition of beautiful is different to a guys)

Well it makes sense to me.

I got what you were trying to say, but like moon just pointed out don't try that. We can't mind read and if you don't say anything its kind of a slap in the face.

[lucybelle]

really. haha i thought it did.
I mean to say. If you dress up and we don't say anything, it could be because we are sending you a message... the message is, the fancy dress and make up isnt what makes you beautiful, you're already beautiful just the way you are. So we might see you the same way if you were wearing a garbage bag, or a nice dress... beautiful. (perhaps a ladies definition of beautiful is different to a guys)

Well it makes sense to me.

Let me say this: It's nice to be nice. Giving compliments makes people feel nice. I have vigorously trained my younger brother to ALWAYS compliment a female. Especially one he's dating. Every time he sees her he should say something. Anything. "I like how you did your hair", "great shoes!", "did you do your make up different? It looks great!" It doesn't even have to be something he notices, just as long as she THINKS he noticed. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Go ahead and try it, I bet you get a great response.

---------- Post added at 11:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:14 AM ----------

really. haha i thought it did.
I mean to say. If you dress up and we don't say anything, it could be because we are sending you a message... the message is, the fancy dress and make up isnt what makes you beautiful, you're already beautiful just the way you are. So we might see you the same way if you were wearing a garbage bag, or a nice dress... beautiful. (perhaps a ladies definition of beautiful is different to a guys)

Well it makes sense to me.

Let me say this: It's nice to be nice. Giving compliments makes people feel nice. I have vigorously trained my younger brother to ALWAYS compliment a female. Especially one he's dating. Every time he sees her he should say something. Anything. "I like how you did your hair", "great shoes!", "did you do your make up different? It looks great!" It doesn't even have to be something he notices, just as long as she THINKS he noticed. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Go ahead and try it, I bet you get a great response.

[13000km]

So this is actually 8000miles, 13000km's boyfriend

That makes no sense whatsoever

I would agree, except that you've apparently never told someone they looked very beautiful today just to be glared at and asked if that means they don't normally look beautiful...


I will start by semi-defending your SO. If you generally don't dress up and try to make yourself look extra pretty or aren't vain etc, he might not realize how important it is to you. It seems he's never seen you really care about your looks, so he probably doesn't realize you'd care if he noticed. That being said, you were hurt so clearly he DID need to tell you. But don't get mad at him. As painfully obvious as it may seem to you, in all honesty, he probably JUST DIDN'T KNOW you would want him to say anything. And please note this doesn't mean he doesn't think you didn't look gorgeous, he might not know how often many girls need to be reminded of it. (Many guys can be complimented by their looks once and be good for a year).

So tell him. Tell him that you looked so pretty and everyone noticed, but because he didn't say anything or act differently, you felt like he didn't think you look pretty. If he gives excuses, listen. They're probably actually what he was thinking. You don't have to agree, you don't have to think it was logical or even semi-smart that he would think that way, but he did. So say you understand, but that you really want him to flat out tell you how beautiful you look next time.

[Dauntedpoet]

I am a guy, if you get all dressed up and look really nice AND we don't say anything, we're trying to tell you you are beautiful, equally beautiful as before, without the makeup etc

This is exactly what my SO said to me. lol Thankfully I understood he meant he didn't want me to think I ONLY looked beautiful when I was dressed up. Again.. now I ask, as I understand he does think it but it seems so obvious to him he doesn't think to say anything.

[Rugger]

I attempted to talk to him about it by bringing up the pictures that the bride posted on facebook. I ask if he thought I looked okay in them. He just said yeah def. I brought up the fact that he didn't say anything about the wedding and he responded that he didn't see me much. So I said it was okay and he said he was sorry and that I did look nice.

Oh well.