Would you be upset?

[Ms.Justine]

I attempted to talk to him about it by bringing up the pictures that the bride posted on facebook. I ask if he thought I looked okay in them. He just said yeah def. I brought up the fact that he didn't say anything about the wedding and he responded that he didn't see me much. So I said it was okay and he said he was sorry and that I did look nice.

Oh well.

men

[Kerry]

I would. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kind-of-girl and if I dress up and my bf didn't notice I would be mad. when I visited him this summer I wore dresses (which I NEVER EVER do) and he commented on them and how I looked in them. if he didn't I'd be mad!

[ImInLove]

Let me say this: It's nice to be nice. Giving compliments makes people feel nice. I have vigorously trained my younger brother to ALWAYS compliment a female. Especially one he's dating. Every time he sees her he should say something. Anything. "I like how you did your hair", "great shoes!", "did you do your make up different? It looks great!" It doesn't even have to be something he notices, just as long as she THINKS he noticed. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Go ahead and try it, I bet you get a great response.

---------- Post added at 11:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:14 AM ----------



Let me say this: It's nice to be nice. Giving compliments makes people feel nice. I have vigorously trained my younger brother to ALWAYS compliment a female. Especially one he's dating. Every time he sees her he should say something. Anything. "I like how you did your hair", "great shoes!", "did you do your make up different? It looks great!" It doesn't even have to be something he notices, just as long as she THINKS he noticed. It makes us feel good about ourselves. Go ahead and try it, I bet you get a great response.

Yeah, i give compliments to her all the time, I think, from my point of view, if we dont call her beautiful all the time, and then when she's all dressed up and has make-up on, and then we call her beautiful.. we're a little scared she'll give a bad reply. for example: oh you i'm not normally beautiful? or Oh i'm only beautiful when there's stuff covering my face... i dont know, just stuff like this. I'm 20, still learning

[Rugger]

The problem is he knows I'm not like that. I would never throw his words back in his face just because of a compliment.

I'm just going to drop it. There's no use beating a dead horse. Next time I dress up, I'm going to have to ask him how I look.

It just leaves me feeling shitty and uneasy.

[books]

It just leaves me feeling shitty and uneasy.

Sorry that you're feeling this way...I think sometimes guys are just clueless. There's a lot of stuff my SO doesn't get, but I'm the type to straight out tell him.

[WakeUpSusie]

I don't know Rugger, I think you might be reading into this a little too much. Not to get all cliche on you, but most guys are just LIKE that. They don't necessarily notice things like that, and even if they do, they don't always feel the need to vocalize it.

I would just recommend that you really try not to stress about it so much, and to let it go a bit. Save relationship stability stress for a time when (or if) it is blatantly warranted.

[Rugger]

I don't know Rugger, I think you might be reading into this a little too much. Not to get all cliche on you, but most guys are just LIKE that. They don't necessarily notice things like that, and even if they do, they don't always feel the need to vocalize it.

I would just recommend that you really try not to stress about it so much, and to let it go a bit. Save relationship stability stress for a time when (or if) it is blatantly warranted.

You are right. As I said previously I'm just gunna let it go. It's not worth making myself crazy over. I shouldn't expect him to notice anything.

For the record, I hate that cliche. "Men are like that" even if they are, is such a cop out.

[Trethsparr]

"Men are like that" even if they are, is such a cop out.

Word.

[WakeUpSusie]

I shouldn't expect him to notice anything

No, you should expect him to notice for sure, which I'm sure he does. I was just trying to express the fact that he may not say anything even if he does, just because it doesn't occur to him to do so. That doesn't mean that he doesn't care, it just means he didn't outwardly vocalize it. I just don't want you to equate not saying anything with not caring.

And I hate that cliche too. I guess I was just trying to express that it's been scientifically proven that men have a different psychological thought process and it isn't always compatible with what most women desire at a given point in time.

[Minerva]

For the record, I hate that cliche. "Men are like that" even if they are, is such a cop out.

It is and it isn't. Men and women are, in general, different. Whether because of nature or nurture, there is a difference. However no one should knowingly use their sex as an excuse to be an ass or a bitch. But understanding that there is a difference can save a lot of over thinking and heartache.

I know you are eager to drop this, so I won't say anymore, except to say I'm sorry you were so hurt by this. I hope he's learned from this.

[Rugger]

It is and it isn't. Men and women are, in general, different. Whether because of nature or nurture, there is a difference. However no one should knowingly use their sex as an excuse to be an ass or a bitch. But understanding that there is a difference can save a lot of over thinking and heartache.

I know you are eager to drop this, so I won't say anymore, except to say I'm sorry you were so hurt by this. I hope he's learned from this.

This is what I meant. Men and women are wired differently, but that shouldn't be used as an excuse. I'm a woman, I get PMS but that doesn't excuse me from being an ass to everyone else.


Thanks guys. I'm feeling a little bit better about it as time passes. This forum is really the best resources for long distance couples. Love you guys<3

[Unicorn]

I think that you feeling like other men have the potential to treat you better than your current man is a bit of a red flag. If he isn't overwhelming you with a sense of this-is-great now, and it's early on in your relationship and you're dealing with distance, it doesn't sound worth it.

[Rugger]

I think that you feeling like other men have the potential to treat you better than your current man is a bit of a red flag. If he isn't overwhelming you with a sense of this-is-great now, and it's early on in your relationship and you're dealing with distance, it doesn't sound worth it.

We've been dating almost two years. And I don't remember saying other men have the potential to treat me better, just that they noticed me when I dressed up.

[Yaaamiii]

Guys tend to not notice things like that, from my experience..:/ I'd be upset though, so I totally agree with you!