Okay so a few months ago I had posted a problem about feeling guilty that my SO paid for everything when he was here. I mean food, room, and then on top of that he took me to DisneyLand, and the Zoo and just so much, plus transportation. So basically he really treated me to alot and took care of me. And he spent so much. He doesn't mind and has no regrets. But I know that it cost alot more then he let on and he probably went home pretty broke. Now were planning our future visits and he's coming in April, which he says is already paid for. I been talking to him about it and there's a huge possibility I won't be able to afford to go see him for 6 months so I might go to college. I would have to figure it out by the beginning of the year. (To apply for Fasa or such) Since I have no job right now, the chances of saving up enough by may, seem low at the moment. So he's offering to help pay for part of it. But the whole thing that I feel guilty about is already he's paid for our first time together. Paying to come here again for 2 weeks, will be taking care of me when im there. It just seems like all I do in the relationship is cost him money. He doesn't mind, but I do. I really want to see him, college I would be doing just to get through since I wasn't with him. I would rather wait a year or two and see and be with him then go to school next year, without a doubt. But accepting more help from him makes me feel guilty. Does it seem like taking to much?
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I love you Nathan <3
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5/25/09 <3
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No,I actually think it's pretty sweet. He is being there for you,he did have the choice to not waste so much money but he loves you so much and whats the best for you. Your not asking for too much,your just not money stable right now to afford to pay for much. He probably understand or will understand,that your not very good in the economy right now.Money comes and goes,and we'll im sure that when you have money you'll return the love not the money back(: -
HiddenSmiles is right! I'm in a similar situation, when my bf visits he pays everything, when I visit him he doesn't let me pay anything. He even offered me to helpping paying my ticket, this time I can pay the ticket becuase I found a really cheap deal, but i want to go there in december and that is the moment that more people are traveling so i know the tickets will be more expensive, so I probably let hi help me with that. I think is so sweet that he wants to be with me so much that he doesn't care spending that money. And it's even more, he enjoys spending that money, he always says that he is happy when he sees me happyOriginally posted by HiddenSmiles View Post
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Honestly, I think it's quite sweet. You obviously mean a lot to him and he wants to be with you. I go through this struggle almost every week because my SO makes at least 5 times more than I do and it's sometimes hard to deal with because you feel so guilty when they spoil you, take care of you and buy things for you. I talked to my Mom and my friends quite a bit about it because it really bothered me; and what they told me is let him spoil you it may be his way of showing his affection, perhaps he is the kind of person that is often labelled as the "provider", or "old fashioned".
What I do to make myself feel better about the situation is:
- Be a cheap date (when you go out don't order the expensive things) or just keep in mind of how much it's going to cost in total.
- Do things for him as in give me a massage (when you are together) or clean his house, cook him dinner, do the dishes...or generally things you'd know he'd appreciate
- Make him handmade gifts
- Or grab him a small item or gift that made you think of him and send it. It'll mean a lot more to him because he knows your funds are low and what little you had/have you spent on him.
I hope that helped c:.We've Closed the Distance.no matter where i am, no matter where you are
i'll be there when it's over baby - cause i was there from the start
no matter if i'm near - dont matter if you're far
all you do is pick the phone up baby & i'll be there when you call
Whenever you need me, whenever you want me, ♥Comment
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It's really nice of him I know how you feel, you don't like that he is spending so much on you, but on the other side i think he enjoys actually being able to provide for you, to be there for you, feeling like the alpha male in a way.
And anyway, the pound is so much stronger than the dollar, so he was able to spend more than usual
Distance doesn't matter when two hearts are loyal to each other.Comment
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I'm in the same boat. My boyfriend pays for pretty much everything when he comes into town. I feel super guilty about it, but I'm a single mother, and I'm in school full time so I really don't have the money to spend frivolously. To make myself feel better, I'll sneak out when he's sleeping and buy him breakfast, or I'll buy us lunch when I know we're just going to have fast food, or I'll treat us to Starbucks.. you get the picture. He doesn't LET me do these things, so I have to be sneaky about it, but it makes me feel like I'm not just taking and taking all the time.
All in all, he probably understands your money situation and doesn't want you to have to worry about pinching pennies. He just loves you and would rather spend the money than not be able to see you.
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