Difficulties with Jealousy/Lack of Confidence

[Mara]

I was one of these women in a former life. She isn't going to stop. She's only going to amp up her game. He needs to avoid her like the plague. If he even for a moment considered taking her up on what she was offering, she knows that and is going to keep trying until she gets what she wants or he completely cuts her out of his life. I wouldn't even hang around this type of girl with other people there, she'll find a way to get him alone, and when she does she'll be going in for the kill.

[Conor]

my SO is extremely jealous as well. whenever he finds out I've hugged one of my male friends, he gets extremely jealous.
he, on the other hand, has a girl he's friends with that I am just not comfortable with...
before him and I started dating, he'd been infatuated with this girl. he'd kissed her at a party and had asked me for advice getting with her before we'd gotten together.
I'd decided at that point that I was jealous of her.
a few weeks later, he'd asked me to be with him, and I completely forgot about him. he showed me a shirt he'd gotten in school that had his last name emblazoned n the back in bright colours for everyone to see, and he said he was extremely excited about him giving it to me so everyone could see our story whenever i wore it.
i recently found out the same girl from before has acquired it. why? because her ex hadn't treated her right, and him giving her the shirt would cheer her up.
sure, a shirt isn't a big deal at all. I don't have much relationship experience, but from what I know, a girl wears her guy's name on her back as a sign saying "this man belongs to ME."
another thing are the pictures. he's taken cute, snuggly pictures with her and posted them all over facebook. when I asked him about it he accused me of just being immature and jealous.
he's bailed on me for our few precious webcam moments to webcam with her instead, and they have hour long "sexual google translate" sessions, whereas we don't even play world of warcraft together for a moment because he's so "busy" (I find out later he's up for hours playing with his man-friends)
he tells me all the time that he loves me and that we're definitely soulmates. but how can that be?
I hate being jealous and it makes me feel like a complete notsonice person, but I can't help it. it seems like there's something more going on with those two...
and it's bothering me. does anyone have any tips?

[chwdg10]

My boyfriend and I have had similar problems just recently. My boyfriend doesn't have much of a social life, but I hang out with friends from school and work. He is use to me going out, but more recently I've been spending time with a coworker of mine. A guy. It caused some issues at first. He felt jealous and threatened that I was spending time with a guy he didn't know and had never met.

I ended up talking to him about it. I reassured him that my coworker was nothing more than a friend and I didn't see him as anything more. I also told him that I need to have a social life and see different people or else I would become depressed if I was to sit at home all the time. You just have to trust each other and be honest. If somethings not feeling right, tell him.

[Rugger]

If it was me, I would demand he put this woman out of his life. She doesn't respect you, and by virtue of the fact that she doesn't respect his relationship, she doesn't respect him either. And if he had to think about saying no, I'd never trust him around a manipulative, conniving woman hell-bent on putting another notch on her headboard.

This. She made a move, She's not going to stop. I think that the 3 rule your wrote about is a great starter for him to wean her out of his life forever.

Conor, I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about this other girl. Tell him that it hurts that she seems to take precedent over you. Tell him how hurt you were over the shirt thing, especially since he promised it to you.

[Conor]

I talked to him about it, and he told me it was the only thing he had around him when she opened up to him about her depression. She's apparently fallen into it when she found out her boyfriend had been using her, and was thinking about suicide. He gave the shirt so she'd feel happier?
xD, I don't understand it, but I trust that he's not cheating. If he loved someone else, why would he be spending so much money and working so terrible hard to come visit me?
Thanks!