Where I've been.

[jennyjellybeans]

So, awhile back I was quite active on this site, I'd visit it at least once every day. Until August 25th, when my boyfriend made the most drastic move in our relationship. He moved to California, LA (7 hours away from me) and joined a religious organization. One that, sadly, does not approve of dating outside of the organization because if they allowed anyone to date anybody the organization would lose its determined members who are all fighting for a better cause. So now, in his mind we are just really good friends. Though he's told me repeatedly he still loves me. He even plans to wear the dog tag I made him with our anniversary engraved on it. I never got a chance to send it to him because of this all happening. Anyway, he brought it up to my surprise, asked if he could still have it and said he wanted to wear it. I thought it was sweet, its like he's trying to show me he really does still care. On addition to that, he's been filling out forms and eating his dinner really fast in order to have time to talk to me. Although I don't like the fact he's kept so busy he can't talk much, and that he has to fill out forms just to speak to me, I've come to understand that doing that is him really trying. Because in all honesty, most members don't really do that, their allowed to, its just that most of them tend to work over talk to family/friends until their done with their basic training, in which case they get cell phones and can communicate pretty freely. Anyway, my point is, the fact he's done that numerous times, and even left messages repeating, "I hope your doing well." kinda shows his caring side.

Now everyone in my life is dubbing me insane. Insane for being so understanding. I keep hearing "he left you over a religion" and you know what? Yes he did, but I understand. Religion is a SERIOUS thing to some people, and he's been in this since he was BORN. So I'm able to gladly say, "Even so, its what he believes in, I could never be angry at him for following it, especially when he honestly believes this organization offers him the tools to improve life and save others, he's helping, and I am so proud of him for it. As for if I still love him, of course I do, even more so that he could look past me, just one person, and say, I really need to help the WORLD and ALL its people. So I love him more than anything, I could never ever be angry at him for what he did. I respect him, I admire him, and I think he'll do great things in that organization." So that's my opinion on things.

Now the dilemma I'm facing is my impending involvement with the organization. Being the determined girlfriend I was, I wanted to understand why my boyfriend could make such a drastic decision and why he did so. So, I've spent the past month or so immersing myself with his religion. I've read so much material and have still only scratched the surface. I've spoken to current and ex members of the organization who are the nicest people I've ever talked to, seriously. They are also successful and happy in life. This contradicts everything I've read and heard online about the religion being bad. I've learned that we shouldn't judge a religion based on media's facts. I'm not going to say every case is false, maybe its true, but I do believe media can "exaggerate" things a bit. Now believe me, I understand the people I've talked to aren't going to in any way "bash" their religion, but honestly, I refuse to believe people as good as this and my boyfriend are involved in anything bad. I just cannot see it. Now maybe the religion does ask for money, free labor, whatever, but all religions have at one point or another. I could argue on and on about the potential financial scam accusations of this particular religion but the facts are to these people its not about the money, its about the help they offer people.

Anyway, I really don't want you guys to read a million paragraphs on what I've discovered and now think but I want to say that, I believe I shall convert. I BELIEVE in everything they teach, I love the way it makes me feel, I love the people involved in it, I love how hard these people work for a better tomorrow, I admire them and what they do regardless if its just so the Church makes money. It's members are changing and helping the world, and that's what counts. So. I truly think, that in the next 9 months I will study this religion more and more, graduate from high school and join the organization in Summer 2012. Not only will I get my boyfriend back but I will be changing lives, I will be more spiritually aware of myself, and I truly believe I will mature and grow as a person and become like these people I have so much respect and admiration for.

To make things completely clear, this is a lifetime service kind of thing, I AM NOT in any way doing it for my boyfriend. Everyone thinks I am but its become more than just him. I would not sign a lifetime contract just to be with him, its irrational and just plain stupid. I will however, sign it if it offers me a chance to make an impact bigger than myself on this world, my boyfriend is just a bonus for me.

So call me crazy, but that's my story.

[Engel]

your story makes me think about the one that posted anonimous about their so becoming a scientologist.


if it is you, hang in there and i hope everything turns out ok for you. *hugs*

[Zapookie]

Yeah, like Engel, this does remind me about the boyfriend who ran off to scientology.

I think you should do what you feel is right in your heart, but you know you don't have to sign your life over to a religious organisation in order to make a difference in this world. js.

[Laura_N]

I read this last night and I wasn't sure what to think about it. But it is great to hear someone has such a commitment for a religion or faith. I'm a non-believer and I don't really want to find belief and I don't feel anything missing from my life - yet I respect those who have the ability to believe in a higher power. Just do it for yourself, like has been said, and do it if you really believe in what they are doing. I'd also like to add: think critically. It's always good in any occasion.

[Trethsparr]

...you know you don't have to sign your life over to a religious organisation in order to make a difference in this world. js.

I have to agree with this. I wish you the best!

[CaptainKaz]

Like everyone else, I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you. It's really nothing to do with me because what you do with your life is up to you.

That said, this really concerns me. The very idea of having to 'fill out forms' to speak to people who don't belong to this organisation just sets alarm bells ringing in my head, and I think anything and anyone that infringes on your personal freedom is dangerous. Be careful. Generally, organisations like this are dab hands at indoctrination and you might not even realise it's happening.

I just think, before you do anything, do research and ask around about it as much as you can, and - especially because you're still in high school - experience life before you decide to do anything that will demand so much commitment.

[MadMolly]

I have seen this happen to friends of mine, and it's really sad. But I'm not going to bring negativity into a happy thread. Er, I guess I already did. I'm out...

[Gemini]

I have to agree with this. I wish you the best!

I agree you can make a difference and not sign your life over to a contact. I also dont like the form filling out ether x.X doesnt sound right to me, what kind of religion is this may i ask?

And really hope this will be good for you im not one for believing in this sort of thing but i wish you luck.

[Minerva]

Umm, yeah. Red flags and alarm bells... I hope you realize what you're doing. Yeah. I was about to say more, because if this is the group I'm thinking of, of course your research will bear out all the good -- the information you're getting is from them.

Yeah. Shutting up now.

If you are of your own mind and it makes you happy, then best of luck.

[jennyjellybeans]

Yeah, like Engel, this does remind me about the boyfriend who ran off to scientology.

I think you should do what you feel is right in your heart, but you know you don't have to sign your life over to a religious organisation in order to make a difference in this world. js.

That is because I was the poster of that thread, I was Anonymous because at the time it was a big personal issue for me I didn't want to be affiliated with and I thought my boyfriend might see it and wonder why I was asking for advice (since he knew I used this site and had seen my posts before). To clarify though, he didn't technically run off to Scientology but to their highest most devout organization. He has been a Scientologist his entire life from cradle to now.

I know very well of that, which is part of my dilemma here. I know I can make a difference without joining but this organization just particularly gives me the assets to help. I get to learn a lot of things through their courses and I will be able to travel to other locations worldwide to help people like those after Japan and Haiti.

Like everyone else, I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you. It's really nothing to do with me because what you do with your life is up to you.

That said, this really concerns me. The very idea of having to 'fill out forms' to speak to people who don't belong to this organisation just sets alarm bells ringing in my head, and I think anything and anyone that infringes on your personal freedom is dangerous. Be careful. Generally, organisations like this are dab hands at indoctrination and you might not even realise it's happening.

I just think, before you do anything, do research and ask around about it as much as you can, and - especially because you're still in high school - experience life before you decide to do anything that will demand so much commitment.

It concerns me too, believe me. I've spent A LOT of time researching all of this. Their program is actually friendly, but the style of living and control is like the military. Very much so. You need permission to talk to others, you live in dorms with bunk beds and roommates, you have a schedule for the day that consists of: Get up at 7:30 am, get dressed, make your bed, breakfast, work or study, lunch, work or study, dinner, work or study, closing drills, and then bed by 11:30 pm. That, however is just the EPF, or Estates Project Force which is the program all recruits go through before becoming a full Sea Organization member. My boyfriend is currently undergoing it and says its really fun and he's made a lot of new friends. He also is apparently his squad's leader. So see? Very military haha. Now, I understand a bit as to why they need this. They want to sort out the committed from the non-committed because they truly are on a mission to help improve conditions in the world. These members give seminars on how to live drug free, how to communicate in life, and many many more stuff. There are multiple divisions within the Sea Organization, meaning there are SO many jobs to choose from, from film maker to security officer.

Now the only really thing that's bothersome is the control, like I said, military. But that's not saying people don't get time off. As long as you work hard they really will allow some slack on things, but if you just laze about doing nothing, they kick you out because that's not what their about. These people are SERIOUSLY devoted to getting all the corruption and bad things off the planet while helping people realize their full potential, etc etc at the same time. So they don't tolerate members who don't do anything. I'm saying this so you guys know that the whole myth of "once your in you can never leave" is complete nonsense. Your allowed to leave anytime, they of course ask you why because they believe there has to be a reason for you committing a "blow" or in other words quitting/giving up something, and then you go through some routing forms, they apparently make sure you have a job/place to live and then they send you off into the world.

Anyway, that's a summary of it. I don't want you guys thinking I'm joining a cult and I want to clear up the false accusations of Scientology and this Org being one. So from what you've heard online, just understand, thats coming from a media source that can say ANYTHING. Then again, Scientologists can too! So all comes down to what I believe to be true. And I honestly can't think that people as GOOD as my boyfriend (believe me, he is quite literally a saint of a man) and Brandon, who is my informer of everything that goes on in this Org are involved in something so bad. It all depends on your perspective, yes they live strictly, yes they give up stuff that you and alot of other people wouldn't give up, but ultimately, do they help? I think so.

Anyway, I've done quite some extensive research, I've read both good and bad of this religion. SO far its like two kids (Scientology vs media) saying "This is what we believe in" and "no way! this is what you guys REALLY believe in" its soooo controversial, its quite interesting. I'd love it if you guys asked questions (if you have any) actually, that way I can show I've looked into this.

[jennyjellybeans]

I agree you can make a difference and not sign your life over to a contact. I also dont like the form filling out ether x.X doesnt sound right to me, what kind of religion is this may i ask?

And really hope this will be good for you im not one for believing in this sort of thing but i wish you luck.

The contract is a scary thing, it really is. It's like selling your soul to work for these people. I don't exactly agree with that, but I understand its a sign of true religious committment. I mean, who in their right mind would sign a contract for a lifetime of service. Only the most devoted of people. People who are willing to give up a way of life that us people not involved extremely in religion wouldn't give up. The forms are ridiculous, but as I mentioned, its very military. We've got a duty to fulfill and can't be distracted, is basically what I think they mean by having these forms. This religion is Scientology. I know you've probably heard all the bad to it, I have too, but I've also asked alot of people who were in it at some point so I've gotten alot of information and alot of "false" stuff cleared up.

Neither was I until now. Im Agnostic, I had these system of beliefs prior to ever even hearing the word Scientology. I was never really into religion until it came along and basically said, "Hey! you believe in the same stuff we do, ain't that awsome?" And it is! I love this religion because I can relate so very well to it and my boyfriend was the connection to it. But Thank you, I hope things turn out well for me too.

[Michelle]

Did you know that the Sea Org does not allow you to have children? And that people who have been in the Sea Org have aborted their children just to remain in the organization or become pregnant and choose not to abort and are kicked out of the Sea Org? Forget the religion part. This organization you are thinking about joining, the Sea Org, is just not good to women. This is not the only option you have to become the well-rounded, good person you want to be. You don't need to let other people run your life to reach your goals. There's college, there's volunteer organizations like Peace Corps you can join without signing your life away and losing all your friends and family who aren't scientologists. It's not just the media who make allegations about the Sea Org, it's people who've left it and have spoken out about it.

Nothing is worth losing your friends and family and losing control over your own life.

https://www.tampabay.com/news/scient...cle1101759.ece

[HollzHeartsChris]

I don't get why people would do this, but maybe that's just because I'm a non-believer too. I don't want to say anything that will offend anyone, because my opinion on this matter is extremely strong, but I will say this: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO. I'm getting a really, really bad feeling about this, and I'm also seeing red flags everywhere.

But it's up to you what you do. Good luck.

[Minerva]

As someone who works in a library and who has taken classes in researching, you have to use critical thinking with all sources. "The Media" is not some cabal trying to take down Scientology. It's made up of both reliable sources and unreliable sources. Each source should be vetted on its own terms. And when your primary source is from the institution you're researching, you have to look at it with an even more critical eye, as you can't hardly call it unbiased. Everyone you've met is friendly? Well yes, they're trying to recruit you. You agree with everything they stand for? Printed up in pretty brochures, even terrible things can sound pretty. At best, any information you're getting from Scientology itself is biased. At worst, it's propaganda designed to indoctrinate new followers.

If this works for you, it does. Everyone is free to follow their beliefs and do what feels right to them. But there are a lot of red flags here, and you yourself don't sound very convinced this is all as shiny as it seems. Follow your heart, but don't discard your inner voice. If things seem hinkey, they probably are.

[folclor]

Well, whatever you do with your life it's your choice. However, I do agree caution should be taken. You're probably really tired of hearing that, eh? ^^;; I'm a very religious person. Though I don't always do everything I should according to my faith, I am very much a religious person. When you go into talking about giving things up for religion, I understand that as well. It's obvious that some things must change for one to follow what one believes. However, don't throw everything away for this. I'm glad you're looking into it, please continue to go into it with your eyes wide open.