The nuclear option...

[Tigertray24]

Okay, so I might have just gone with the nuclear option here: I called his mother.

Being that she's from Austria, speaks pretty much zero English, and I've only been taking German class for 5 weeks, it was quite a challenging conversation for me. However, I was able to communicate the things that I needed to communicate, such as "Where is René?" "He has not yet telephoned me." "2 weeks". She was shocked to hear that, saying that that wasn't good and that she was going to talk with him.

In my defense, I had messaged and called him a few times on Skype and called his cell phone, and left a message saying that I was going to call his mom if I didn't hear from him. I'm kinda thinking that maybe I did the right thing, bringing someone from a third party perspective in to ask what the hell is going on here. He's probably been acting like everything is A-OK to his mom, not telling her that he doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore. It seems to me like he'd rather just try and get away with being a jerk for now, hoping that he won't have to suffer the consequences later.

Anyone think that I might unnecessarily piss him off (which I'm not sure if I even care) or that it was good to talk to someone who might hold him accountable for his behaviour the past few weeks?

[Sharon Q]

I don't think you did the wrong thing here. If I had not heard from my SO in two weeks I would be very worried as well.
Maybe his mom will talk some sense into him and he will talk to you and discuss why he went so long without contacting you.

[Minerva]

I think you've done well in calling it the nuclear option, heh.

If you're still together, I don't think you've done anything wrong. But let's face it, from everything you've posted, it sounds like this relationship is over. He's been a douche, no doubt. And you're rightly angry. But you're probably not going to get a lot of satisfaction or answers for why he turned into such a coward. Maybe momma will give him hell, maybe she won't, but either way I don't think it's going to make any difference to you. I doubt she's going to guilt him into contacting you, and even if she does, is that really what you want? Contact because momma made him? And look at the hoops he's got you jumping. You contacted mommy for goodness sake.

You seem like a smart, cool person, and you've put up with a lot of BS from this guy. You really deserve better and I hope you find it.

Good luck.

[Tigertray24]

Well, every time when I asked him before if he wants to end this relationship, he says no. He just says that he has other problems right now (like trying to find work and make enough money because he went home broke) and that he doesn't want to get twisted up in a relationship that's months and months away. It's like he wants to put everything on the backburner for the next couple of months, which is obviously not okay with me.

Honestly, I really just need to talk to him and make him realize that either things need to change, or I don't want to be in this relationship as it is now. I'd be open-minded about reconciling in the future (like when he comes back next year) if we're both ready and willing at that point in time. It's like I haven't even been able to get any kind of closure to this situation because we haven't talked.

This is not the first time that a third party has intervened to ask him what the hell is going on with him. Sometimes, I feel like the only way he can be reached is by someone else who is neutral. It's been rather successful in the past and has made a world of difference, but I'm kinda embarrassed that I need the help of others to get through to him every once in a while. But no one can get through to him if no one knows what's going on. I don't think he has told anyone that he hasn't talked to me in this long.