The 3.5 month slump.

[Snap]

In my last LDR, things were going wonderfully until three and a half months. Everything started to go downhill afterwards. He was tired of the infrequent visits and stopped putting effort into the relationship. I tried my hardest to fix the relationship, but it was dead. We broke up soon after.

Flash forward to my current LDR. We're nearing 3.5 months of the distance. As with my previous one, things are going very well. However, he's going to be very busy with school for the next couple of months so my contact with him will be drastically decreased. I got back from a visit with him yesterday and he was sacrificing a lot of time for my visit. I felt like a huge inconvenience for him. He also has a lot of close female friends that he works with every day and I'm scared that he's going to want to leave me for someone that he can see any day rather than waiting on my visits.

I'm just scared. I know that there's nothing that I can do. If he's not going to want to put effort into the relationship, then I can't change that as I learned from my previous LDR. But I'm still scared and feel helpless and hopeless. Is being this scared and worried normal? Or am I being too paranoid?

[Jgui]

you shouldnt take your pass relationship and compare it with your current one. the previous relationship didn't work out because maybe the other party was not putting the effort in. If your current situation worries you or stresses you out, you should talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. Ask him if he is willing to work out the distance between you both.

Also, a relationship is base on trust, from what you're saying about him having a lot of female friends kind of indicates that you don't really trust him. (it might not be true) But just putting the thought of he might leave you for a more convenient girlfriend is unhealthy.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I understand your worries. Just talk to your SO about how you feel, and let him know what's going through your mind. Tell him your worries. A problem shared is a problem halved, and it should help ease your paranoia and worries. And by the way, as for your SO having lots of female friends...so does my SO. Don't worry about it. If there's been no problems in the past with them like that, I wouldn't worry yourself too much with it. Just trust your SO and don't doubt. You shouldn't have to doubt if you love and trust him. If it bothers you that much, talk to him about it too and just let him know how you feel on the subject. Ask if there's some compromises he can make with his female friends, without having to restrict him too much. Have faith. You shouldn't let previous bad encounters put you off. Put them behind you, and enjoy the present