Finding it hard to talk to him again.

[megfashion]

So our relationship has taken a rather significant turn. Ive been trying very hard to make him happy, please him, guide him and support him. The other day, long story short, he returned this favour by saying he "didnt give a s** about how i feel". Also about a week ago, i tried rather hard to be very nice over skype (euphanism for the older) and he didnt seem bothered in the slightest.
In all of the occasions that he has done it (ive only listed 2) he has apologised and said he is just stressed. I havent really taken these apologies because he just says it so much and does it again.

Last night it really hit home how hurtful he is being. I shook, blocked him, and was scared of him. He wasnt being violent, i dont even know why i was scared. but i really didnt want to talk to him. He was that nasty.

Today we have talked a little bit, but he started saying that he didnt think he could love me because i said he was being abusive. and actually, both the counsellor i have and i agreed that what he was doing was verbal abuse (which, she says, can lead to me doing physical abuse).

My lovely friend frankie who i trust with everything has tried to speak to him today, because i point blank refuse to speak to him now. he thinks he has done nothing wrong.

I love him to the ends of the earth, i really dont want to end it, but i just dont know what to say to him anymore. he has been texting but i havent replied because i just dont know what to say to him. i suppose im dissapointed in him.

What should i do? what should i say to him?

Confused,
Meg
x

EDIT: i have also sent him a very long email with my thoughts and feelings. he is yet to reply to it.

[snow_girl]

If he is verbally abusing you and thinks he is doing nothing wrong....GET OUT! You may love him but this is a poisonous relationship and he will bash you down till you've got nothing left in you. Sometimes the right things aren't always the easiest.

[megfashion]

he says he wasnt intentionally doing it. we have been dating for 2 years n 3 months... ive never seen him like it

[Gemini]

Personally reading this i find he isnt good for you, and this is my own opinion im not telling you what to do with your life so its up to you what you choose. But the man you love doesnt constantly lie or says he cares nothing about how you feel and i dont blame you for being scared of him. He sounds abusive to me and he doesnt sound like he is right for you, remember no man is worth crying over. I love my fiance to the ends of the earth as well but sometimes you have to let things go, i have priorities as well. Sometimes guys show there true colors and even girls do after a year or so sometimes you get too dazed in a relationship and you start finding out who they really are later on. I dont know how long you guys been together but i suggest if this is him all the time i personally wouldnt be with him no mater how much i felt for him. Personally he has no excuse and someone making the same mistake over and over again will never amount to anything good.

[megfashion]

yeh. he never used to be like this. he used to be so nice. ever since his father passed away he just doesnt seem to get that there are 2 people in the relationship.
has your fiance ever done anything like this?

[kteire]

he says he wasnt intentionally doing it. we have been dating for 2 years n 3 months... ive never seen him like it

He intentionally told you he didn't care about your feelings. He might not have meant it, but he said it because he knew it would hurt you. That is abuse, definitely. It's hard to know that someone you love will abuse you that way (trust me, I've been there.) but he won't change. You need to be happy and healthy, and he is standing in your way of that.

I'm sorry, really.

[megfashion]

OK, i understand. i just wish he would go back to the person i used to know.

[Gemini]

yeh. he never used to be like this. he used to be so nice. ever since his father passed away he just doesnt seem to get that there are 2 people in the relationship.
has your fiance ever done anything like this?

My fiance has NEVER done anything like this if he did i would tell him to get the F out of my life, i dont need that in my life exp if he says he doesnt care how i feel. My fiance has gotten upset before he lost i dont know 2 people he cared about, grandma and his best friend and he never treated me poorly because of it.

[megfashion]

ok, thankyou, thats what i needed to hear. i think im going to finish with it tonight.
its just very hard because now im thinking there will be no one else out there like him and im going to be alone all the time.... ugh

[Gemini]

ok, thankyou, thats what i needed to hear. i think im going to finish with it tonight.
its just very hard because now im thinking there will be no one else out there like him and im going to be alone all the time.... ugh

Your welcome.

And believe me i thought about that too and there are wounderful guys out there just need to look hard enough im really sure youll find someone really great for you!

I believe everyone has there soul mate and you just run into a few bad seeds till you find your man.

Also try spending a lot of time with your best friend and friends during this time i think its cruitial for you and it will help you a lot -hugs-

[megfashion]

Thankyou.
much love x

[HollzHeartsChris]

I'm sorry this has happened to you but if he's just going to hurt you...it's something not worth pursuing. You deserve better and not to be treated like dirt. :/ Best of luck.

[kteire]

I'm glad to see you're taking care of yourself and being smart about this. It sucks, but you deserve someone better than him, and you will find someone like that

[megfashion]

yeh, ive got out and quickly. i suppose i just needed confirmation that this wasnt normal.

[Rosebud]

How recently did his father pass away? I'm sorry, but sometims with situations that are really painful like that people can react in violent ways even if it means they don't care if they're taking it out on people they care about. It's a process of grieving and perhaps he just needs some time alone to collect himself and get his life back on track and he may be having issues seeing the larger picture right now. When someone dear to me passed away I flat out told my boyfriend we should just break up and I know I wasn't very kind to him through the ordeal, but my mind was on other things and the hurt and even though it wasn't right of me he understood my pain and stuck by me, and gave me the space I needed.