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Having one of "those" days...

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    Having one of "those" days...

    Where I don't know how this is ever supposed to work. It wasn't even anything that really set me off. (Okay, I did have bad/weird dreams last night and all the other nights for almost a month now.)

    Jason has been sick and under the weather with horrendous allergies. I feel so helpless, because I can't do anything to help him. I don't even know if I could do anything if we were together. I feel helpless because I can't do much to make him feel happy even for a moment because he feels so crummy and sick.

    So we're talking about how they're going to create this awesome set of biking trails where he lives. He says "if I'm still here when it finishes I could easily see myself getting into biking." I tell him that's great, and that I wish there were more things like that around here, and he says "I'm sorry that you don't have that where you live." Then it's like it hits me... I know that I could never ask him to leave. I know he would miss it, and I would feel guilty.

    We've talked about the moving thing, but we can't do anything right now because of money and it's just not the right time. So my mind goes out of control: What if it's never the right time? It just seems that so unfair that it's an impossibility that it would never work, but still... It gets to me sometimes.

    He messages me "I'll be ok hun i promise...this just happens i know it makes you feel helpless...trust me i feel helpless." He doesn't know I'm crying or why I'm crying. I know he messaged me that because he thinks I'm down about him being sick. Again, with the signs. It just seems uncanny for him to say that right at the moment I needed to hear it. Which of course made me cry more... Can it really be the universe is conspiring to help us?
    “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

    #2
    If you know there are signs guiding you to him then you are meant to be together. I know i have my moments to, but i know me and her are meant to be together with all the obstacles we face we overcome them everyday, and whatever we go through now we can handle in the future together. You two are meant to be together, just like me and Denise are, there is a way that you will be together and when the right time pops up you will know it. Hang in there *huggles*

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      #3
      awwww the signs...i LOVE the signs. Yes I truely believe it is God, the universe, whatever you wanna call it...letting you know that it will be ok, that things will work out. You two have come into each others life's and even though it isn't the right time, you will make it. I always think that there is something that we have to learn through all of this, to help us in future trials. I don't know what it is that I am suppose to learn in my relationship, and I may never know what it is, but when the time is right everything will fall into place for all of us.

      That connection that brings those signs to you, is an amazing connection. Thrive in the fact that he can sense how you feel. Thrive in the fact that he is that close to you. Isn't it an amazing feeling? To know that someone loves you, and understands you, enough to know how you are feeling and to reassure you that its going to be ok. The best things in life are never easy.

      The song that always helps me is This will always be my Mark song. It isn't "our" song, but it will always be his song to me..
      "To Be With You" by David Archuleta. If you don't know it, you need to listen to it.

      "And when we finally meet, I'll know its right. I'll be at the end of my restless road. But this journey it was worth the fight. Just to be with you.
      And when you're standing there in front me, Thats when I know that God does exist. Cause he will of answered every single prayer, just to be with you."
      Last edited by agentholli; April 18, 2010, 02:39 PM.

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        #4
        We all have our down moments where we can't find any answer to our questions.. but you have to be positive!

        I also feel helpless when my boyfriend gets a cold or something, even if I couldn't do anything about it, I'd give anything to just be there with him. Maybe if you do something for him (I don't know, a picture, text, letter, call..) it'd cheer him up and don't think too much about him being sick.

        About moving, you might see it really far, but think that the day WILL come, you just have to keep the faith and work hard saving up, well that's what my SO and I do

        But always talk to him about your fears and feelings, I think it's a really important part.


        Good luck! *hugs*

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          #5
          *hug* i feel helpless too, when he misses me, i just want to be with him but we litterally cant do anything about it.. yet. just know that it wont be like this forever, i agree with sixx, the day will come, just keep faith

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            #6
            When everything looks so hard and impossible you gotta try to take all those feelings away, it's hard, but why be depressed when you know you love someone and that someone loves you!

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