I wish i can make my past disapear....

[Caitlin2009]

I guesse were all having one of those days today, but there a days(thats like everyday) where I wish i would have never met my ex, I already had trust issues before I met him and he made them worse by doing what he did to me! I know Denise would never do that to me but there's always that nagging feeling left over from my past relationship that I want to get rid of so badly but cant. She has told me before why she hasent been online alot(Weather has been nice over there, ect) but sometimes forget and then i over think shit and think she's putting things off, or other shady things when thats not the case at all! I wish i can make my past go away!!! Arrrrg!!!

[agentholli]

Yeah i have trust issues also. It is hard to not let them come into play when you feel like you aren't getting the attention you want, or when you SO is doing other things. I had this issue come up just last night for me.. It is hard, but I think with time it will help heal those wounds and we can trust again.

[garnet]

I think it just takes time. :/ My situation is a little different, but I was in two abusive relationships, and after them I would flinch and duck anytime a hand came near my face. >.< That was a joy to explain. Over the years, that has passed. Now though, my fiance just very gently touched my neck near my throat and I FREAKED. I had been choked before, and I guess that one really stayed with me. Rane would never hurt me for anything, and I know this full well, but it triggered the memories and there was nothing I could do about it.
We can't make our pasts go away, but we can learn the new way things are, and let the old memories fade into dust.

[xsomanymilesx]

i regret my past too. big time. its like scribbling perminant marker on something perfect(your current reletionship) and it wont come off
you just have to accsept things, and move on, because maybe you wouldnt be with her today if it wasnt for your past, i always think that; like if i hadnt been with my ex, i wouldnt have added my now best friend and talked about boyfriends to her, thus i wouldnt have met phil through her. everything happens for a reason. stay strong!

[MadMolly]

Oh god, I can so relate to that flinching if a hand comes near my face... I wasn't in an abusive relationship but an abusive obsessive friendship though which was weird. The other day Dave was explaining something and lifted his hand up to illustrate and I flinched so hard! I think he was a little hurt so I had to explain to him it was a reflex!

[garnet]

Oh god, I can so relate to that flinching if a hand comes near my face... I wasn't in an abusive relationship but an abusive obsessive friendship though which was weird. The other day Dave was explaining something and lifted his hand up to illustrate and I flinched so hard! I think he was a little hurt so I had to explain to him it was a reflex!

One of my two abusive relationships was a really twisted friendship too. >.<
But yeah, there is no way to control it. I guess honestly even now, if a hand came near my face too fast, I'd still flinch, duck. Definitely gotten better about that though. After a long ass time.

[Caitlin2009]

Yeah i know everything happens for a reason, he may have ruined some of my life but the rest of my life i wont let him ruin that for me! It did teach me that there are other people who are better then him out there and know how to treat a woman right.


I know Denise was in a quite a few abusive relationships before me, i told her this i soon rather slit my own damn wrists then ever lay a hand on her like that or control her the way they did with her, even when were play fighting there are certain things i wont say or do because i dont wanna bring back bad memories for her

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I used to have panic attacks when I was depressed (and honestly I think one of the only reasons I can say "used to" is because of my SO, who was so supportive) and there is a huge paranoia thing that comes with that. When he's tired and not responsive I think he doesn't want to talk to me and I shut down, I get paranoid that he doesn't want to be with me and all but push him away, etc, etc. He also told me to shut up (playfully because I wasn't giving him a chance to reply) and I had to tell him he can't say that to me, since my parents have said that to me when I hypervenilated. =/ It just sucks, he's asked me why I'm so paranoid even when I know nothing's up. Our new solution is I have to tell him when I'm paranoid. He says even if I don't like talking about imaginary problems that are in my head, we have to talk about them, because if something's bothering me, then I become unhappy, and "an unhappy Jenna" is -his- problem. Paranoia has caused me to become super clingy and obsessive at times and it's just something we have to deal with.

[lunamea]

I have trust issues that don't come from past relationships but from my low self-esteem and from my mother's past (being cheated on and exploited by her husband and by telling that story over and over again to my young self, instilling the belief in me that no man is to be trusted) and they definitely affect the relationships in my life. However, I wouldn't want to erase my past because I know that it has made me the person I am now. Even though you've obviously gone through worse than I have, I still think it's a good idea to look at it from this angle: your past has made you who you are and your SO loves that person, so it can't all be bad. I also frequently think of the hardships you've overcome as making you a more complex, lovable person... I know people who are so at ease with themselves, who don't doubt themselves or their partners ever and they're usually pretty boring and arrogant individuals who are so full of themselves it almost hurts. I don't know. I have a thing for underdogs and "flawed" people and I admire how they live their lives despite all the bad that has happened to them.

[Mio]

Past can be too powerful in our current lives, but I guess the only thing we can do about it is try to let it go and learn from it!