Im a mess, did some things and i dont know if i can turn back!

[sagittariusgirl89]

John and I have been together for 3 years and we are supposed to be moving in together in December.

About 3 weeks ago we did break up for about a week and a half. During that time I went out and drank and met up with 2 guys and was intimate with them. Afterwards I felt guilt and swore to myself I wouldn't do it again.

After John and I got back together we got into a silly argument and i ended up going out and and drank with another guy.

I know...sounds pretty trashy, but Im not.

John just went back home today and he wont be back until 2 weeks. I just feel so confused

I didn't think having sex with other guys would cause me to feel weird intimately with John. I don't really like him kissing on me because i just feel weird.

Part of me is scared to move in with John. Im moving 2 1/2 hrs away. I feel like im the only one who is going through what im feeling and i really cant describe what im feeling. Some nights I just feel restless and I want to go out and drink and have fun with no limits. I want to live with John but the other part of me is so confused. I just want to be sure of myself and in my relationship. I dont want to feel restless and bored. :/

[JennyRW]

I think you don't want to move with him and that is why you are sabotaging yourself

[Silvaria]

It definitely appears that you should hold off from moving in with him. This sounds to me like more than a case of "cold feet"...you're having outright serious doubts, and if your gut is telling you that you won't be happy, I would encourage you to listen to your gut.

[Zapookie]

You shouldn't move if your heart is not 100% there. You're going to realise that you miss having fun and you may end up resenting him if he doesn't want to share that with you. No judgement here, but I think you should reconsider.

[Mara]

I think you love him, but you aren't ready to move in with him. I think you want to because you love him, but you just aren't ready. Have you talked with him about any of this? If you haven't it would be a good idea to tell him how you are feeling and everything you are going through.

[sagittariusgirl89]

I have tried talking to him about it and it honestly gets no where...i just wish i could talk to my mom about this

[Rosa]

Just adding a thought...if you can't talk about something as serious as the last month in your relationship - and get somewhere, then you may have bigger problems in the health of your relationship than you think. Can you slow things down and get back to the place when you were both loving each other equally? If you can, build from there, if not...well time to think!

[Mara]

If you can't talk with him about it maybe you could talk to someone else that you are close to? Your best friend, a family member, etc.

[Zephii]

Yeah it's a little messy, but don't lose hope.

You've been with him a long time and you're pretty young. There's a point where you wonder if you're missing out or going too fast or whatever.

But, there's also a point where it's time to move forward and keep growing too. None of us can tell you where you're at.

I do want to assure you that moving in together doesn't mean your life has to get boring, or that the sex needs to get boring either. There's no reason you can't go out with him, get drunk with him, then go home and get kinky with him.

December is a ways off though, do you think he'd accept a short term break for you to just go cut loose? I don't usually recomend breaks, but they work for some people.

[Kerry]

it doesn't sound like you're ready for this next step in your relationship. does he know what you did during the time you weren't together? maybe that's part of what's bothering you.

[lucybelle]

I think moving in together might be overwhelming for you. Is it a possibility to just move "near" him. To the same city, but live on your own?

[sagittariusgirl89]

John does know what happened when we weren't together.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I'd say listen to your gut instinct. If you aren't ready, don't dive into things. Wait until you are ready, then go for it. Just let him know how you feel. He has to listen to your feelings, surely?

[JennyRW]

I think moving in together might be overwhelming for you. Is it a possibility to just move "near" him. To the same city, but live on your own?

if you can do this I think that would be a good solution, because you are definitevely not ready to move with him

[garnet]

If I'm remembering right, you've come here over and over talking about how you've kissed other guys (while not on the break), you have past issues of texting other guys, etc. Now you have a short break, and find other guys to fill the gap pretty quickly (I don't mean that offensively at all, sometimes thats just how it goes). Truly, you do not sound like you are at the moving in together stage. Your bf appears to be very patient. I agree that moving near him might be a better way to go, and easier / happier for you. To live together, I don't know, it would possibly be better if you couldn't imagine yourself with another guy. Even on a break. You would KNOW it was right. You would be excited to go, not upset about potential lost freedom. Those are just my thoughts after reading your posts for a while now. I hope whatever you decide to do, you end up happy with the choice.