any advice for POST-Visit blues?

[hiskitten]

I just got back from visiting my wonderful boyfriend this past weekend. The trip was exhausting, but so worth it; we spent every moment together the day and a half we got to share, without a single moment apart.

But now I'm back at my university and I miss him to death. I have already had a few very confusing, desperate mornings where I smelt his cologne on my teddy bear and thought I was still with him - and then slowly took in the scenery of my room and realized I wasn't anymore.

Seeing him was amazing, but now I feel like I miss him so much more. It makes me cry sometimes because for a few seconds I honestly believe he is with me.

So how do I handle it?

[Sunnyside193]

Maybe instead of being upset about having left him you could try making a big deal aboutt he next time you will see him. Like maybe make a countdown chart or something. Time is really the key the first few days are always hard

[kiara_silver]

Im still trying to figure this out. We had our first visit two months ago. And since then this distance has been alot harder then before we met. So far I haven't found any secret other then keep busy. Its harder some days then others. But can't help miss the one you love. Just have to stay focused on knowing you will see him again and kee looking forward to that.

[JennyRW]

I don't know
Look at me! For the Jewish hollydays his parents invited me to stay with them so I don't have to drive back and for several times (they live like 45 minutes from me). I used to stay every weekend at them, when he was living here, but since he move to another state not anymore, so I'm staying at my bf's room in his parent's house, but without my bf, this is sooo weird. I'm not unconfortable because his parents are super sweet with me and I know them since the begining of our relationship, but it still feel weird to be here without him... It helps that next week I'll go to visit him, but just for 5 days, and after that we are not sure when we gonna see each other again, it depends on his work but they don't give him a schedule yet, just a temporary one :s

If you find a way to do it share it with us please :s

[hiskitten]

Thanks you're right, a week in and it's getting a little better now that I'm in my normal routine.

I'm trying to remain very positive and focus on the next time we will be together

[SquishyLove]

The biggest thing that helped me and my SO after I had to come back from our living together for 6 weeks was a lot of contact. It really helped us to continue our routine of communication...I sent him a text and he used Skype to call my phone as soon as I was in the JFK airport waiting for my flight back to my state, and we talked about how we were feeling and even allowed ourselves to cry on the phone - I think it's better than trying to hold back the feelings. And people cry in airports all the time because of separations from loved ones so I didn't care if anyone saw my tears. I then called him on Skype and we had videochat the instant I was back to my apartment, and we were able to see each other and talk which really helped us. We still cried during our chat, but it was really therapeutic to do it together...and while he had to go right back to work the following Monday after my return, I had a few days off before returning to my job, and with our 7-hour time difference (he's 7 hours ahead of Eastern time zone), I was home to chat when he was home from work and we had many hours of talking on Skype those days to help us adjust to the new routine. Then when I was back to work we went to our usual routine of me using Skype to call him on his mobile when he takes his lunch break and talk for a few minutes, then me texting him when I was on my lunch break to let him know he could use Skype to call my phone and we could talk during my break, and then a brief videochat before he goes to bed (we love weekends because we get many hours to chat). We are now used to the distance again, although we crave to be together again and we have a visit planned in November, so we're both super excited, although we both know we'll have to go through the post-visit blues again...but the memories we make together are so precious!

[Ms.Justine]

Have fun - stay busy

[rsvpnj]

The only two things that keep me going after being long distance for 9 years is to keep myself super busy and to countdown to the next visit. I am constantly planning our next visit and I have a countdown widget on my smartphone... right now it is at 3 days

[rusty15]

I've had to do that 3 times already and I'm visiting soon so def. not looking forward to that. When you visit take pics so you can remember all the fun times you guys just had! keep yourself busy, planning the next time you guys can see each other

[Bethypoo]

I am two weeks into being separated after 3 months of being in the same state together. I to am having the same problem with waking up and rolling over to realize that I am alone. With school starting things have become easier but in no way are things easy. I cry too. As a matter of fact I have cried on the phone a few times when we were about to hang up and I feel horrible that all he can do is listen. But keep busy and keep talking. reminding each other that you are both in it together really helps. That way you don't seem so alone. And those teddy bears that smell like him... i have one too and the day the smell starts to go away is a sad day but that is when you count down to the next time you see him and you don't need that bear because you are laying right next to him and that is SO MUCH BETTER.

[Mfashnik]

In my opinion this is one of the hardest parts of LD relationships. I just got back from a visit with Erik last night and I have been super down ever since. I guess business really is the only answer. Contact helps to, but it my situation that's incredibly difficult. These are the times that I really can't understand why I don't just go live with him. I'm currently at university and I thinking about quitting all the time so that I can be with him. Luckily I know he would never let me do that. As happy as we'd be in the short term, long term I know it would be a bad idea. In the mean time, I tell anyone who will listen all about my fantastic weekend and relive it as much as I can. I also like to spend time thinking about what our next visit will be like. I try and come up with things I wish I'd done with him that I didn't. And then I make a point to do them the next time.

It's difficult but missing him is one of the things that makes seeing him so amazing.