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    #1

    Trust exercises?

    For those of you that have not seen my recent post my boyfriend is scared that I will cheat on him. I've talked to him about it, I know its him being insecure and worrying because we had a friend cheat on her SO when he was at basic. So I understand his worry. I set him down and talked to him over facebook and webcam about the matter.

    Letting him know I only want him and would never hurt him and that if I was going to cheat on him I would have by now. ( we've been off and on for three years ) After talking to him I think he felt better, we discussed who he didn't want me around which were guy friends from my past whom I still have feelings for ( I seriously cant make that go away and it sucks because I only want to be with my SO i don't even know why I still care about the dude so much) And I understand his reasoning. And I agree with it.

    Now he says the cheating issue is because lack of trust and because I talk to guys online. ( I go to a site called Vampirefreaks.com. ) And most the guys that comment or talk to girls there want something if you get my drift. ( btw if you dont know what the site is, I will say now that it is NOT a dating site Its a gothic culture site )

    But its nothing but conversations and the occasional complement and I always let them know up front I have a boyfriend and I'm only looking for friendship on the site... most guys when they hear that stop talking to me, which is fine I don't care. I have a few guys on there tho that we can have normal conversations about our SO's and life stuff. and thats all the conversations consist of.

    I think he may feel its more " talking " than conversation.

    I was wondering what we could do as far as trust exercises go with being so far apart.

    We've already set guidelines.

    -I'll let him know about my plans for the day or who I'm with.

    -And I'll talk to him about things more.

    Now before you say " whats he gonna do for you? "

    He is home schooled and they are moving to a place out in the country so he's really not around anyone but family and he just moved there so he doesnt know anyone. I've told him I want him to go out and make friends, I just think he isnt ready for that yet tho, he's only been their for 8 weeks. and he's never really been much of a social person. But I figure that making friends will come with time once he gets used to being there.


    So does anyone know any good trust exercises for LDR couples?
    " There is always hope.
    "
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    #2
    know each other's passwords for email/facebook/whatever you want

    Comment

      #3
      ^Donīt do that! That promotes so much distrust! I know many couples who got into major fights because of that.
      Also, itīs kind of creepy...

      "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
      -Miguel De Cervantes

      Read our story HERE
      \

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        #4
        Yeah, we both like our privacy and trust each other enough not to feel the need to go through each others profiles and junk.
        " There is always hope.
        "

        Comment

          #5
          Well, you can think about your relationship and why it has lasted as long as it has...that takes a lot of effort. I'd say maybe revealing a deep secret that not many people know about (if any) but it's hard with a long distance relationship..I mean it's not like you can do the blind catch exercise or anything. Honestly, I think he needs to have a deep look into what kind of relationship you two have and a deep look into who you are as a person and take a leap of faith and just fully trust you.
          .We've Closed the Distance.
          no matter where i am, no matter where you are
          i'll be there when it's over baby - cause i was there from the start
          no matter if i'm near - dont matter if you're far
          all you do is pick the phone up baby & i'll be there when you call

          Whenever you need me, whenever you want me, ♥

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by rusty15 View Post
            know each other's passwords for email/facebook/whatever you want
            This is a terrible idea, it won't create trust. Trust is no knowing someones password and being okay with it cause you know whatever they are up to is nothing to worry about.

            Comment

              #7
              Yeah, don't share your passwords. Just be honest with each other.

              My SO and I are just very open and honest with each other about anything and everything. Like the other day, an ex suddenly kissed him while he was working. (He works at a costume store, for the time being) He told me as soon as he could, was completely honest about what he did and how he felt when it happened. And I said my peace on it, told him exactly why I was upset about it, which really was a petty reason, I wasn't the last girl who had kissed him. His answer to that, was I had been the last girl he had kissed. The entire issue was discussed in about 15 minutes, the bottomline was we can't control the amount of respect others give our relationship, we can can control how we react when they show absolutely none and we both just moved on.
              ". . . We obviously have to come to accept it, but that doesn't stop it from gnawing at us day by day.
              The best we can do is enjoy our time together, anticipate our reunions, and remain passionate and loyal through distance." ~Mike <3



              ~*~11.21.2010~*~

              Comment

                #8
                What I've found with my SO is that just being open and honest to each other about what's bothering us and what's on our minds has been of great help and has helped increase our trust in one another. We let each other know daily what's going on in our lives, discuss things that have been going on, etc. All the little things help

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                  #9
                  Be honest is the key. Some couples can shared their passwords but some decided to not shared, and all depend on the way they see about privacy. Well me and my bf never share any passwords because we need our privacy, but we always honest to each other.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    My BF and I have each others FB passwords but not due to trust issues. We've actually had them since before we started dating. He'd have me go on FB and fix stuff for him and now we play games together and will use the others accounts for that reason. Since there is nothing to hide it hasn't been a big deal. Thankfully he's not a jealous person. I can be but he has done his best not to give me any reason to be so luckily that has not been an issue. All you can do is talk to him, let him know that you love him and that you won't give him any reason to not trust you. Be available to him when he needs you and include him in your life as much as possible. It sounds like you're doing just that. Most of the time jealousy stems from our own insecurities so do what you can but it sounds like something that he really needs to work on.

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