She never calls, nor does she ask,she doesnt skype, nor does she ask, but she texts.

[weddy]

Ok so I have thought about this, but let me say that it was hard thinking because I was emotional. It all starts with the fact that we decided to date about two months ago knowing we would be something like 3000 miles apart for most of the year. Well since i have received her number, there hasn't been a day we haven't spoken to each other. However most of the communication has been through text messaging and I have always been the one asking to call, and calling her.

During the early days it didnt really register to me, and really being a guy I knew I should do so to make her feel comfortable talking to me. However even now she does not even ask me to call, does not ask me if she can call and has never called me even once ever! And as my friends have told me to just talk to her about it, to me I can not do that, because she is going through tough times and her reply will probably be i don't know(70% certain). I just could not understand it.

To compound the issue, the is the skype issue. Long story short, I told her that we should find a way to skype while I was away, and i told her how much that meant to me, at first I offered to buy her a webcam so we could skype, and i asked her to get her computer specs for me, which she never did on more than one occasion ( im not to upset over this really, she just probably kept on forgetting and at first told me her computer needed to be fixed). Later on, she finds out that she had a front facing camara on her ipod, and she said she got skype, and the first thing she did after telling me this is that she was going to get oovoo so she could talk to her friends..... anyway, I asked her if we could skype that night, and we did. And after that day not once has she ever asked me if she could skype with me, she could hang with her friends yet not spare a minute to skype with me. I asked her a few times to skype but she could not do it on any of those occasions. And her Ipod had a malfunction, and well thats the end of the skype thing.

The thing that gets me is how much she texts me, I mean we always text, and she texts first about 65% of the time. So I was a bit confused and started to think that maybe she just likes talking to me and likes my company but just does not like me. Or perhaps she does, but is going through so much that she is not really interested on talking on the phone. And well idk what do you guys think?

[Miramaid]

i do not even know what to think...except that may be if she is in another country calling is expensive for her and so might be skype (if she pays for internet by megabites like in my country).
But i think you should definitely talk to her about it

[weddy]

No she is here in the united states and thanks for the reply. I just do not have the heart to add more stress in her life though...

[Laura_N]

I know what you mean by saying you don't want to add her stress. I really needed to talk to my SO about our communication issues but didn't want to make her feel any more pressured than she already was with her life in general. But what I noticed, after people telling me that I should to talk to her, is that the world didn't end and we needed to talk, we still do. Don't be scared of pointing out you would like to talk to her more on phone, just do it in a gentle manner that doesn't have a blaming tone. You could for example ask her if she would like to have more phone conversations with you, and then go on with the discussion from that. I can see that you are confused over the fact that she's not even suggesting calling you, and I doubt she'll get offended if you just want to figure out why. It's OK and important to talk about things like this. Other than that, I can't really come up with anything else. Altough do you know if she is uncomfortable speaking on phone? Personally, I'm terrified of phone calls, and it has created some issues. I really prefer texting and chatting over calling. It might be a reason like this too.

[Mara]

With the calling thing, she just might not be a phone person. My SO doesn't like talking on the phone and altogether, we might have spoken on the phone 7-10 times in 2 years. We just aren't phone people. We do however text constantly throughout the day and email. With chatting by webcam, we do that every once in a while, but it isn't always convenient because of scheduling conflicts. I would definitely talk to her about the skype thing. Explain to her that it's important to you etc, etc. I might mention the calling thing too, but do so in a way that you are saying that it isn't a big deal you just wondering why she never called you.

[Miramaid]

No she is here in the united states and thanks for the reply. I just do not have the heart to add more stress in her life though...

What exactly is so outrageously stressful in her life right now?

[weddy]

Thanks Laura_N for the response, I truly appreciate the advice
And yeah I could I guess maybe during the week and when she is not in too bad of a mood. And im a bit concerned that all she will say is "sorry to frustrate you and I dont know why i dont call you" which i guess i will have no response to either, agh maybe i should just try to talk to her like you said, and I dont blame her really, I know she is a good hearted person, and if she does something, it is not to be mean, so that is why I am thinking she does not truly like me.

And the last part is also a good point, I am not sure if she is terrified of talking on the phone, I have heard many girls are(and guys too) scared of doing so. When we talk on the phone she seems to be fine really but maybe she is not, i have no idea how to tell

Thank you again

---------- Post added at 02:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:28 AM ----------

Miramaid, she is just going through hell with her mom, and spends like 3 days out of the week away from home because of her, and has sleeping issues, and she was told not to go to work today, which could mean she is fired, and she is not in a good financial position, and never lets me help.

And Mara I will try to talk to her about the calling thing I guess early this week, but she knows how much I wanted to set up the skype thing, I have told her many times so I am not going to bother bringing it up again, I know she knows

[xo_Kayla]

With the calling thing, she just might not be a phone person. My SO doesn't like talking on the phone

Same here! My SO isn't much of a phone person, but we constantly text.
I think everyone just has their own preference of communication. It's no big deal.

[Malaga]

With the calling thing, she just might not be a phone person. My SO doesn't like talking on the phone and altogether, we might have spoken on the phone 7-10 times in 2 years.

Same here! He's definitely not a phone person, and neither am I in my everyday life, but with him it's not so bad. But I understand it's weird for him. We usually skype once in a week or so, depending on our schedules - I wouldn't mind more to be honest, but I realise it's quite time and energy consuming, no matter how much we try to be casual about it. So it's not really doable, especially during the week.
We text and email throughout the day, every day, and that's how we keep in touch.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I know for the first few times my SO and I spoke on Skype, he was extremely nervous and it was up to me to try and convince him to come on Skype and talk to me. He was so nervous at the prospect at first that he tried to delay in making a Skype account and having our first conversation by distracting me, but I managed to get him to come on and in the end there was no problem. Now, he has no problem in coming on Skype, although I'm normally the one to ask. I don't find anything wrong with it. Sometimes, it works, other times it doesn't. It just sounds to me as though she's not really a phone chatting kind of person, but don't let it put you off. If it bothers you that much however, talk to her about it and tell her that you'd like it if she could come on the phone more sometimes. It'll help considerably and might make you feel a bit better.

[msskunk]

I think about the same here. Me and my SO never chat, webcam or calling each other, so the way communication that we have only through email. We email to each other at least once a week, but can be more when we have more time.
Every couples have their own way to communication and that depend on both parties ^.^

[Ms.Justine]

Maybe she's not a phone person, I myself prefer text to phone calls while in a CD relationship, but when in a long distance relation I feel there's two different tones to the two. Maybe she just prefers to text. As for the skype thing, if she is going through problems with her mom, etc maybe she doesn't feel comfortable being on camera when she's feeling emotional perhaps weak? Or maybe she's just feeling nervous or shy to ask you about skyping...Perhaps its just not her thing?

The best option would be to talk about it and vocalize how you're feeling.

[weddy]

Thanks guys for all your comments, really do appreciate it

I think she just does not feel the same way I do about her, which is fine, and I think she should just concentrate on dealing with her issues before dealing with me. So ill just not say anything haha. She seems fine with the way things are right now anyway, and ill just have to deal with not being able to talk to her on the phone for a while(one thing for sure is that I will not call unless if its an emergency).

[uniquefem]

heheh until last night my SO still doesn't like it when i text him.

We chat on gtalk, and one moment he didn't answer, and i said "Mr. T are you on *silent mode* again?". And he misunderstood this and said "yes, i turn off the cellphone voice, i don't like it made sound beep all the time" i can not stop laughing out hard!

Some people just don't like text messaging.. and oh my SO will go mad if i call... instead like it he will say "turn this off now, i will call you back, it must be very expensive for you to call" and he hang up..uhhhhh..... he will call me very soon after that. So i rarely call him, we just talk on skype often.. but not text messaging hahaha... he tought both calling or texting will made me broke!