What do you think?

[Mio]

The other day my SO and I were together, walking around town with my grandma. All of a sudden we passed by a door, and it was a place with a dancing show going on. The first thing you could see from the door was a woman, in a bustier or bra, hot pants and some maracas wrapped around her hips. My grandma was there before and she said it was a cool Latin show, and she said let's go in. A few seconds later my boy saw the woman, and then he said "Ooohh, let's go in" And so my grandma kept on insisting so we went it, then I was totally angry and sad, like I was not good enough that he had to be looking around, I felt so disrespected to the level that I even though about breaking up. I was about to get my period, so I don't know if I totally over reacted cause of the hormones, but for me it was a devastating event.

We talked about it and he said it was only a joke, that it was nothing, and so on, so he apologized. Then I told him that he always said to me that jokes are "half truths" and he responded that what is true about the joke is that he is a man and he likes women overall, but he is in love with me. I understand all this, but anyway now I'm still down. He's always been very open with me, and I trust him, but this I can't get out of my head.

So what do you think? Something similar happened to you?

[Rach321]

I totally understand the reaction! It's the jealousy monster raising it's ugly head, for sure. But I wouldn't see this as a sign that he won't be faithful to you for life.

Truthfully, he probably did find the dancer attractive, and there probably was a part of him that wanted to see her. It's really a natural response. No matter how committed we are to someone, we can still be attracted to someone else. And I think for women, we often times don't really say anything about that attraction. Men, on the other hand, tend to say it when they feel it, I've found. Especially when they would never actually do anything about the attraction. Hmm.. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I tend to trust a guy more who feels comfortable telling me (or not hiding from me) when he sees a woman he thought was attractive (as long as it's respectful, or joking in a non-hurtful way- which is what your example seems like to me). To me, as his partner, it tells me that he is not keeping anything secret from me, so it's nothing to worry about. A guy who looks at other girls but never says anything to his partner or tries to hide it is less trustworthy to me. I would rather him do it in front of me than behind my back, if that makes sense.

The extent to which we respond to that attraction is what shows our committment to our SO. He doesn't flirt with other girls, right? He doesn't talk to other girls as a way to seduce them, right? These would be the things to worry about- Just looking or joking is nothing to worry about. That's my own perspective, though. I think you have every right to tell him that you don't appreciate those kind of jokes and ask him to try to remember not to say things like that around you. But try not to feel too upset about it- I'm sure he loves you very much and this is not a sign he loves you any less or finds you any less attractive. Hope that helps you!

[Sixx]

I've been in the same situation, but with my ex. And even though I did feel jealous, all I did was laugh it off and add "oh, yes she's pretty" in a normal voice, and he just laughed and kissed me.

It's normal that we look at other people while we're in a relationship, we're obviously not blind. But you know your SO loves YOU, so don't make a deal out of that comment, I'm sure it was nothing

[Mio]

Thanks girl! I really needed to hear it from another perspective!

[stargazerlily]

Guys will always be guys. As long as it just stays a comment, don't worry too much about it.

[Caitlin2009]

Awww i wouldnt worry so much, he loves you and only you, and i dont see that ever changing or him ever cheating on you! As long as he looks and does nothing else then everything is fine.

[xsomanymilesx]

we all overreact sometimes. i did the same thing (got jelous) like yesterday.. hormones make it worse!! we can all have our moments, at least hes reassured you.. dont let it get you down for too long