When you're down..

[lalarose]

Hey,
Do you ever have those days when you just feel so down because you just miss the person so much? Me and my boyfriend talk everyday on skype and it's been 2 days we haven't because of schedules and it's so hard..
And I don't like showing it to him because i don't want him to know im sad.. or so vulnerable..
What do you do? Do you tell the other person or just think about something else?

[Sierra]

Yes, I have these days all the time. I try to keep it from my boyfriend, but there are days when I tell him that I'm just feeling badly because I miss him. He always does his best to cheer me up and be there for me. It gets really hard and sometimes I just get so down about the whole thing. The distance can be hard and really tests a couple.

I try to keep myself busy on these days and just look on the bright side of life. Remind myself that I'm with the man I love and while things might not always be going perfectly, or I might get lonely, it doesn't mean I'm alone.

[SDPersona]

Of course! Most of days I cope with the distance and I can be happy at the same time, because I have friends, family, hobbies and some very precious, happy moments. They get me through, but on some days it just hits me, typically when I'm not expecting it. I have a good cry, go get a hug from a dear friend or family member and try to remember that it won't always be like this. The next day I'm my usual happy self.

Do I tell my boyfriend when I'm sad? Yes, sometimes. I also share my worries, my dreams, my weaknesses... I think it's very important and healthy to be vulnerable in your relationship, to show when you're worried, angry or sad. It means being open and honest to your partner. It helps me to connect emotionally, more deeply with him because he too lets me see the intimate parts of his personality. Really, it's ok to be weak sometimes and our loved ones, the ones closest to us deserve to see glimpses of our true selves. It's what produces true intimacy in relationships.

[kiara_silver]

I have these days . I always tell him i miss him, but i don't tell him when i sort of break down. Those days are the worst. but crying it out helps, because after i feel a tad better that i just let it out. I don't share these moments with him or go in depth about it. But I let him know that I hate the distance and its hard for me too. But talking does help, sometimes I need that comfort. And same with him, Im always glad for when he's open with me and tells me how he's feeling. Even when he's struggling and i feel bad that its because of me, i m glad he comes and shares it with me. I think communication is super good when your feeling low and down. To be able to comfort each other.

[Bethypoo]

My SO and I talk on the phone just about everyday and if we go 3 or 4 days with out talking (usually do to schedules) it drives me nuts and puts me in a bad mood. I do keep the days that I really miss him to myself, because like you said I don't want him to worry or feel bad. But, there are days that I do tell him. I do think because then he will be more inclined to break down and tell me that he is having a hard time to. In a weird way it makes me feel better because it reminds me that I am not in it alone. I mean none of us are in it alone as we have other LFAD members BUT it is nice to have that with your SO and help each other. Just a suggestion to be more open about it. It is hard but communication is what makes LDRs so strong!

[GatoGirl]

Yes, I have those days, too, especially when we haven't been able to talk due to our schedules. My hb gets bogged down with a ton of emails at work, so he's not crazy about personal emails, so sending him a "hi how are you? I miss you!" email isn't an option. Usually, I will buy a card and jot a note in it saying that I miss him and appreciate him. If I get a funny card, it helps it not be a whiny message! The act of getting out of the house to get the card is also a big help if I'm having a down-in-the-dumps weekend.

[rusty15]

yeah
my boyfriend is on vaca. in germany with his brothers and I haven't talked to him since thursday , won't be able to talk to him again until sunday

i just try and keep myself busy

[HollzHeartsChris]

Everyone in an LDR experiences this sometime or other. The past week I've been feeling immensely unhappy and I've been desperate for time with my SO because we've not had much time together lately. I think I've probably broken down at least 5 times alone this week. It's painful mentally and physically for me. Thankfully tomorrow we have the whole day together and it's days like that that promise a break from the sorrow. It's nice to have days like this, because as rare as you are, you learn to savour every single second you have with your SO when you both DO get time together.

[msskunk]

Yeah, I think it's a regular feeling when we have LDR.
Usually I keep my self busy and do my things. I can be crazy if my SO didn't sent anything for 3 weeks, but I only send him email and ask "how are you".
Now after he made promise to send me email once a week and if he missed it - not send anything for a week, I only told him that I feel worried about him.