Stunned

[mandy1992]

Hi all,
I know I'm not very vocal on the boards but I could use some comfort and support. My SO just texted me that he can no longer be in a relationship with me because of some of his religious views. I completely respect that. It's just breaking my heart after a year of being together, 2 visits, and closing the distance (I'm going to university in the city where he lives) I never saw it coming.

[Minerva]

*hugs*

I'm so sorry to hear that.

[CanadianGirl]

Let me know if this is prying, but did he elaborate on what those religions reasons were? At the very least, he owes you a good explanation.

[Ms.Justine]

Let me know if this is prying, but did he elaborate on what those religions reasons were? At the very least, he owes you a good explanation.

I completely agree...I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there absolutely no reason to change his mind? I mean you closed the distance and your going to school where he is...I mean he's bound to see you around.

[Tabbylee]

I'm sorry to hear that I would definitely get an explanation. It's been a year, did his religious views suddenly change? You deserve closure at the very least. Do you think he may be getting cold feet b/c of the closing distance?

[mandy1992]

I convinced him to at least talk to me about this but not tonight. the main thing was that his religion is very against relationships with people outside of the religion and sex outside of marriage. He says he is not looking to get married any time soon.
I'm going to ask him to give me a shot with his faith, I was raised without one but an open to trying it. I love him very much.

He has only recently goten back into his religion in the past few months.

[Ms.Justine]

I convinced him to at least talk to me about this but not tonight. the main thing was that his religion is very against relationships with people outside of the religion and sex outside of marriage. He says he is not looking to get married any time soon.
I'm going to ask him to give me a shot with his faith, I was raised without one but an open to trying it. I love him very much.

That's good to know you are open to trying it and willing to make a change for him. I also agree with a statement made earlier...Do you think he is just using the religious aspect as a scapegoat for getting cold feet about closing the distance? Because I mean how long have you two been together? And has it ever been an issue before this?

[mandy1992]

I've been here for over a month and he has been getting more and more into his faith. I edited the post above but he has only been back with his faith for a few months and I respect him for trying to make things right in it for himself.

[mandy1992]

I now understand that he is going down a path I can not follow.
The people he has begun to associate have changed him. He is no longer the strong, independent, smart, and intelligent man I fell in love with. I believe that man may still be in there but he is not the one driving the ship so to speak, and I know one of these days be it a year from now or 5 years that man will wake up incredibly miserable.
I know there is nothing I can do to change his mind and that he has made this decision no matter how much it pains me to see him enter into something that could cause him pain later on.
Now I just wish to have a conversation with him to gain closure. To speak directly to that man I love who is still in there and tell him thank you for the greatest year of my life, that I will always love him, and that if he ever needs me I will do my best to be there.
Sorry this was long, I pretty much have to keep saying this over and over to myself so I resist the temptation to run to him and say I would do anything to save the relationship. I know that is very unhealthy and in the end both of us would be miserable.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I hate to see when things like this happen, it really does suck to say the least. I'm really sorry, OP. I hope things work out better for you in the future.

[Sierra]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you

[Bethypoo]

Yea, I mean, if you moved to where he is and now you are kinda left out there, then AT THE LEAST, he owes you an explanation! Im so sorry and we are all here for you!

[Silvaria]

That's good to know you are open to trying it and willing to make a change for him. I also agree with a statement made earlier...Do you think he is just using the religious aspect as a scapegoat for getting cold feet about closing the distance? Because I mean how long have you two been together? And has it ever been an issue before this?

I guess I have to disagree with the bolded part entirely.

Spirituality has to be about one's personal path...not making a change just to keep a man.