any advice on this little fear?

[Caitlin2009]

I told Denise that i had a little dear of when she comes over that i wont be as lovey dovey enough or show her alot of affection, she told me she has the same feeling of her not doing that enough for me, I know were probably over worried for nothing and i get the feeling we will be basically attached to the hip lol but i'm afraid i will act the way i did with my ex never really showed him much attention and pretty much ignored him but that was because of the way he is, and i dont wanna be like that with her. Were probably worried for nothing but does anybody has any advice?

[garnet]

My advice is to not give this any more thought. Let things happen naturally. There might be a few early awkward moments, but I'm sure they will pass very quickly. Don't let this be one of your worries though! If you two click IRL, it wont be the same as any of your past relationships.

[Caitlin2009]

I dont think it will be like our past relationships i mean were pretty lovey dovey online, i just hope i can be the same when she comes here

[FireflyGal]

Well, from experience, other than following Garnet's advices (so wise, per usual!), it can be helpful to plan to do something that encourages you to not feel awkward at first. I know when my SO and I first met up (after having been together initially, even), I was really concerned about this. Luckily, my SO is brilliant, and had already planned a night full of events that eased us into being together...from going to a movie with friends to going out dancing that night. It totally broke the ice up, and made us feel more comfortable....neither of us were expected to be able to stare into each other's eyes for hours off the bat or be super affectionate until it felt right.

Now, of course, it's a different story--we kick off each of our hello's with about as much affection and as little space as it is possible to have between too people, no matter what our plans are or where we end up. But that first time, having a plan of a couple activities was really helpful, and pretty much killed any of the small fears I felt.

[Caitlin2009]

well i know shes gonna be super jetlagged when she gets here, and we do have a few things planned for staying in. we planned on ordering in, and watching tv or movies and just cuddle up.

[FireflyGal]

Sounds fun! Those moments are the best

[Mio]

It's normal that you worry, but is true, don't think to much about it and let it go natural. Our SO met in person for a couple of days, nothing happened there, then eventually it developed into a relationship but then the first time we saw each other after being together it was interesting. He was my first "real real" relationship, I had 2 previous but they were disastrous. And then I've always had trust and intimacy problems (a result of being sexually abused as a child by a relative). So I was very nervous, thinking on how it would be so on. But I let it go natural, with the flow. He had a few things planned for the day, not too tight, and we were alone, nobody around in a forest. And it went very nice. The first minutes were awkward I must admit, because of different things. For example, the person do not look the same in the web cam or photos (you will see some slight differences), you are afraid and don't know how to interact and how to touch because your SO becomes a total foreign object, also in 1 second you will encounter with their smell, their hair texture, how their skin feels, how to voice sounds and how those wonderful lips taste. It's an amazing moment, enjoy it to the fullest. But eventually after the first moments, if you're still afraid about how you would treat her, then maybe you can try to have it mind, think about it, maybe you can make notes around the house, or post pictures of these loving actions, you can tell her to tell you when she feels that you're being cold, you can also make token cards and give it to her the first day, etc.

But don't be afraid, don't let your past experiences disturb your future!

[Caitlin2009]

alrighty i'll try not to be afraid or let my past experiance ruin it, i still have trouble letting the past go....i am so trying hard to work on that! In my heart i know we'll be very cuddly and stuff i just have that feeling, its just that stupid nagging doubt creeps up on me every now and again especially when im PMSing which is what im doing now so my emotions and thoughts are everywhere lately!

[Mio]

PMS sucks!!! You'll do good

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I get paranoid when I PMS too, just fyi. XD

I would say it's not that big of a worry. You guys sound like a great couple, I'm sure when you first meet it'll be like, "Woah... Denise is a REAL person, not just a WEBCAM!" And there's all the things webcams can't show, like the delicate textures of the skin and the shimmer in her hair/eyes and the unique way she smells. It'll take some getting used to, I bet, but you'll be just as intimate as you are online after a little while. I wouldn't force yourself into it ("I MUST kiss her within the first hour) but just let it gradually get up to where you guys are now, from a distance, but everything will be ever so much more wonderful since she's physically there. =]

[xsomanymilesx]

i guess everyone is a little nervous about meeting their partners in RL who havent before. i guess i am a bit nervous about it but i think just letting it flow naturally will be fine

[Zephii]

I'm sure you'll be fine. Just remember that she's afraid too, and that someone has to make the first move so it may as well be you!