Is it worth being nervous over this situation?

[Snap]

For most of our LDR, my boyfriend and I have been talking on the phone every other day or daily especially recently. However, for the next 6 weeks, he is going to be very busy with school. It involves writing these long proposals and applications in order to hopefully be awarded money so he can fund his research. Basically if he doesn't get this money, the amount of scientific research he can do will be limited. As a result, this would not look good on his resume when he's applying for jobs after graduation. Anyway, this is obviously a big deal for him and he needs a lot of time to work on this in addition to everything else he already does with school.

He told me that we will only be able to talk on the phone a couple of times a week, like 2-3 times. I understand that he's really busy and I want him to be happy and successful with school. But I miss talking to him. My days feel so weird and empty. I know that this is a temporary situation since all of the deadlines will have passed in 6 weeks from now. But I'm worried that we will slowly grow apart with the lack of communication. I really don't want that to happen but at the same time, I need to give him his space and time for school.

I hate distance. I'm worried and sad...

[kiara_silver]

I just wrote a blog today about less communication. Was upset about it. But sometimes you just have to put up with it as hard as it is. And its only temporary. As long as you do get to talk to each other. I think that's the best thing. Make time and set time aside when you two can talk, if even for a short period of time. Focus on the long run. And what's to come. I know its hard, but best of luck to you both!

[Jgui]

it is very tough when you want to talk to the other person but they're so busy with their work that they have no time. try to keep yourself busy with other things so you aren't constantly thinking about calling him or wanting to talk to him. you can always send him an email letting him know how much you've missed him and just let him now that you're here. like you said, it's only going to be temporary.

best of luck

[JEREIANEDREI]

I just wrote a blog today about less communication. Was upset about it. But sometimes you just have to put up with it as hard as it is. And its only temporary. As long as you do get to talk to each other. I think that's the best thing. Make time and set time aside when you two can talk, if even for a short period of time. Focus on the long run. And what's to come. I know its hard, but best of luck to you both!

this was a nice post Kiara_silver,..i was inspired through what you've said

and yet I agreed with Kiara_silver,.communication is the best thing we can do with our situations and yet it seems that our SO's been busy now,.same with my case,.he asked for a break,.coz maybe he's been busy for school now..it hurts me but then i need to understand...Good luck to us..Loving is unconditional...

[JennyRW]

You need to support him in this moment, so if you really understand his situation, you should give him that space and respect his desition. It is just 6 weeks, yes I know its not going to be easy but after the 6 weeks everything will go back to normal

[Mara]

You won't grow apart. Trust me. My SO and I have gone through times of having very little communication and if anything, it brought us closer together. I know it's hard and you miss him, but just hold on to the fact that it's only for a few weeks. Since he's so busy, I'd take this time to do anything you've been meaning to do, but haven't had time to. Spend more time with family and friends or doing hobbies. Don't spend your days just sitting around because it'll just make the time pass slower. I wish your SO good luck too. I know all too well about getting research funded.

[Zephii]

Hey, don't lose hope! There was aperiod of time Obi and had only snail mail to communicate - once or twice a month max - and we survived just fine. I doubt you'll grow apart. Your love is strong, you can get through this

[Sierra]

I've been dealing with a lesser amount of communication than I'm used to with my boyfriend and it's been a struggle for me. Unlike you, my situation isn't temporary and I'm not sure when it's going to end. Recently my boyfriend changed jobs from an office job to the food industry and even though he only works 30 hours a week, we have been talking a whole lot less.

Yesterday I told him I really missed talking to him and didn't feel like the whole situation was fair, I knew he still made time for me which I appreciated but I felt cheated. On top of it, there's a woman at his work who is extremely interested in him and I was worried that because he would be spending more time with her than me that she could easily steal me away. Me assured me that I was his world and this would never happen, but I still felt bad.

For me the lesser amount of communication is hard for me to deal with and makes me insecure.

Just remember that your situation is temporary and this is something he has to do. The six weeks will pass before you know it.

[HollzHeartsChris]

Don't fret. 6 weeks will pass by quickly if you keep yourself busy and try not to dwell on it. I understand because my SO and I used to talk everyday on Skype for extended amounts of time, we now get around 30 minutes to 2 hours in the evening for him to chat because he has to go to bed early in order to get up and go to school in the morning. During the rest of his schoolday, we text occasionally. I know the drop in communication is a little daunting and upsetting, but don't give up. Stay strong. Hold tight. It'll be over before you know it.

[GoddessDivine]

I don't think you will grow apart at all because of this. It's something he needs to do, and he said he will still make sure to keep in contact, which I think is a good sign that he doesn't want to just cut you out for the next few weeks. This may even make your relationship stronger.

[rusty15]

Is he on skype/facebook/g-chat/IM anytime during the day??
My boyfriend is always at work, and I'm always at school or work, our schedules are so different. We always try to be on skype all the time, so if we can't talk on the phone, we can talk online.

I know how you feel though It really sucks. I haven't talked to my BF in 5 days (he's on vaca. in germany)

[Ms.Justine]

I wouldn't worry - it seems as though you guys have a strong connection and will be able to overcome these 6 weeks. Also I'd like to mention that what sometimes guys quote isn't exactly the case. For instance my SO is in the military and currently on a course and this week is like the "show us what you've learned week" and he's out in the wilderness doing simulation demos. (terrorists attacks, bombs, hostage situations etc) And he told me during this week he wouldn't be able to talk to me at all. However, he's been able to send me a couple texts a day - and it helps things a lot.

So what i'm trying to get to is that I think that even though he is going to be beyond busy he will probably be able to squeeze in time for 2-3 GOOD conversations a nice sentimental text message, or email as well. It'll be okay, I wish the best for you. c:

[Bethypoo]

Its understandable to be upset about it. When I go more that 4 days with out talking to my SO i feel like im going to lose my mind. But my SO is signing up for the military and I know that there will come a time for bootcamp when all i will get is letters. But at this time, it will be extremely hard but being there for him and letting him know that i am there for him is the most important thing. Because when he gets through it and is successful that is the best thing for him and therefore the best thing for me... but it is going to hurt like hell in the process. Just think that if you are in it for the long term- then when you make it through this you will be a stronger couple. Stronger than you already are being in a LDR.

[SquishyLove]

Is he in grad school and going through his comprehensive exams (this is what it sounds like to me)? Those are hard and stressful! I myself haven't gone through it, but a couple of good friends of mine did, and I could see just how time-consuming it was, not to mention the stress and anxiety it caused them. Maybe what he's trying to do is keep himself from being too distracted. On one hand, you guys could technically still talk on the phone for a short time every day or every other day, and keep the conversation very short. On the other hand, if you guys tend to go off on tangents in your conversations and before you know it what intends to be a 30 minute phone call turns into 2 or 3 hours or even longer, it could make him get behind. Maybe that's his motivation behind limiting phone calls during this time. I would just try to stay busy on the days you can't talk, and fill your time with reading, doing crafts, exercise, watching movies, hanging out with friends, whatever you like to do. Also, it shows that he loves you that he warned you ahead of time that he'd be very busy.

If he's a scientist, he's going to be busy anyway...I commend those who are patiently married or in long-term relationships with research scientists and professors, because those people are also married to their work (I actually was considering a career in astronomy at one point because I absolutely love it, but knowing my laid-back, non-competitive personality, I knew going through a Ph.D. program or even a Master's program isn't for me - I decided astronomy would remain a hobby, and I admire those with the fortitude to actually go through with it!). It's not like a 9 to 5 where the job ends at a certain time and you just get to go home - it's a lot of irregular days, because often these people will put in extra hours until the job is done.

One thing you could do is use the extra time to make a surprise for him, like a care package to send him to help him survive his comps exams (filled with treats he likes, a cute card, something you made yourself, etc.). It could really cheer him up during this time and let him know you're thinking of him. A lot of grad students are pulling out their hair during these exams from what I've seen, and sometimes something simple to cheer them up goes a long way! Just stay positive, and don't worry. This is only temporary!

[CanadianGirl]

You'll get 6 weeks to fly by! Instead of moping, you can switch your focus to make each phone call more special. It's more about quality of communication than quantity anyways. The same thing happened to us when he graduated from school and transitioned to working full-time.