I wanted to write down my story and share it with all of you. I apologize in advance for the length.
Jason and I met online through World of Warcraft in September of 2006. I was 23 and he was 25. Our first interaction was random and quite humorous when I recall it. He messaged me saying “I’m a lot older than I sound.” From that moment on things progressed. We would talk online and on the phone until way into the early morning. I really liked him, but I was terrified that he would never feel the same way about me. One day he told me that he was writing stuff down and then started doodling and spacing off. When he looked down at the paper he had written “Love” and “Carrie.” Then he said the words that made my heart soar: “I know that I, Jason, love you Carrie.”
So we decided that we would meet in person. I bought my ticket in November to fly up to Michigan. We were so happy, but two weeks later I found out that I would not be able to stay at the place I was looking at, and I had no money for a hotel. So he then bought a ticket to fly here, and two weeks later he was in tears because he didn’t know if he’d be able to come down because of money. He’d told his parents about coming to Texas, but he hadn’t told them about me, so he couldn’t really ask them for assistance. He finally told me on Christmas night that he’d be able to fly down, and on December 28, 2006 I met him for the first time.
We spent a week together. The moment I felt his hands in mine, the moment I felt his lips against mine, what I had been thinking was true. He was the one I would be in love with for the rest of my life. After he went back to Michigan, things were hard. We were both “young” and emotional wrecks. I was overly emotional, and he didn’t know how to show emotion. We were making plans for me to fly up in July of ’07, but about April he started drifting apart. We didn’t talk as often, and when we did it was strained. In May’ish he told me that the wedding I was invited to in July was only for family which meant that I would not be able to attend. I was crushed. Around June he told me start dating other people. I was devastated. I never did get to use the ticket I’d bought in November.
I was still in love with him, but seeing as I thought he didn’t want me I started dating other people. We would still talk. I would still call him and leave him messages knowing that he would never return them. I would send emails knowing that he might never read them. I started dating someone in October of 2007. As much as my heart yearned for Jason, I did fall in love again with my new beau. In March 2009 I became engaged even though I felt like I was betraying Jason. I still thought of him often, and I knew I still loved him.
Things with the engagement started going south. At the end of the relationship, Jason and I started talking online again. He tried to help me through the engagement, but one night I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I was still in love with him, and that it would be cruel if Fate never allowed us to be together again. He told me that he’d never stopped loving me. That in the 3 years we were apart he had not been with anyone, not dated a single girl. So we planned to meet again.
In November of 2009 he bought a plane ticket to come down in January. In December things started to drift again. We rarely talked, and when we did he was always so tired that it was like not talking at all. Again my heart ached, and I thought “You fool... Things will never change,” so I started talking to someone else. On Christmas Eve Jason and I had a fight. On Christmas Eve I wrote him an email that was intended to be a “good bye.” On Christmas Eve I invited the other guy to spend New Year’s with me. From Christmas Eve to January 3rd Jason and I talked about a total of 30 minutes.
The picture from New Year’s was posted on our guild forums, and Jason saw it. The same day he had sent me an email telling me how stupid he had been and how much he had realized over the last week. About how much he wanted to be with me more than anything. When he saw the picture he was crushed. I felt like a horrible person as he explained to me that he had been working extra hours in December so that he could surprise me with a plane ticket to come down on my birthday and Valentine’s day. He told me that 3 years ago he’d made the biggest mistake of his life and that he couldn’t believe he’d almost made it again. That he thought I was coming down as my boyfriend and I his girlfriend, and that he was still coming down if I wanted and that if he left with his sweatshirt he’d given me 3 years ago that he’d never regret the time he spent with me just the mistakes he’d made. I didn’t know what to believe. Do I believe my heart? Do I believe my head? I was numb to everything.
Before I go to pick Jason up at the airport in January 2010 I get purple orchids delivered to my apartment. They’re my favorite flower, and I couldn’t believe that he’d remembered after 3 years. Things were a little awkward. He gave me roses at the airport, and when we got home he gave me a heart necklace he’d bought from Tiffany’s as a gift for Christmas/Birthday. We spent a night on the River Walk in San Antonio, and on Sunday when we came back he told me he loved me. Something started happening to my heart when he said it. So I asked him to say it again, and again, and again... and finally I was able to say it back. “I love you.” I was terrified.
Jason went back to Michigan, but he returned again for my birthday in February. We took our first ever pictures together. I flew up to Michigan to meet his parents. (He’d finally told his parents about me after the fight on Christmas Eve. He’d told them the true story about 3 years ago, and to his surprise, his mom was excited and happy for him. She told him to go to me, and that if he moved here she’d understand. She told him she wanted to meet me.)
Now it’s April and things are still going great. We have a lot of questions we don’t have answers to yet. Things are hard. We miss each other terribly. Right now I’m scheduled to FINALLY make the trip up there in July. This one I won’t be missing... Not for anything. We’re spending a week together, just us, camping in the Michigan UP. I know we’ll be able to better see where our road is headed and talk about long term plans. Regardless, whatever happens, I know now that we were meant to be together. That even though we may not have deserved each other three years ago, that doesn’t mean we didn’t stop loving each other, didn’t stop working towards finally deserving each other, and when we finally get there, we will be there together, and that’s all that matters.
Jason and I met online through World of Warcraft in September of 2006. I was 23 and he was 25. Our first interaction was random and quite humorous when I recall it. He messaged me saying “I’m a lot older than I sound.” From that moment on things progressed. We would talk online and on the phone until way into the early morning. I really liked him, but I was terrified that he would never feel the same way about me. One day he told me that he was writing stuff down and then started doodling and spacing off. When he looked down at the paper he had written “Love” and “Carrie.” Then he said the words that made my heart soar: “I know that I, Jason, love you Carrie.”
So we decided that we would meet in person. I bought my ticket in November to fly up to Michigan. We were so happy, but two weeks later I found out that I would not be able to stay at the place I was looking at, and I had no money for a hotel. So he then bought a ticket to fly here, and two weeks later he was in tears because he didn’t know if he’d be able to come down because of money. He’d told his parents about coming to Texas, but he hadn’t told them about me, so he couldn’t really ask them for assistance. He finally told me on Christmas night that he’d be able to fly down, and on December 28, 2006 I met him for the first time.
We spent a week together. The moment I felt his hands in mine, the moment I felt his lips against mine, what I had been thinking was true. He was the one I would be in love with for the rest of my life. After he went back to Michigan, things were hard. We were both “young” and emotional wrecks. I was overly emotional, and he didn’t know how to show emotion. We were making plans for me to fly up in July of ’07, but about April he started drifting apart. We didn’t talk as often, and when we did it was strained. In May’ish he told me that the wedding I was invited to in July was only for family which meant that I would not be able to attend. I was crushed. Around June he told me start dating other people. I was devastated. I never did get to use the ticket I’d bought in November.
I was still in love with him, but seeing as I thought he didn’t want me I started dating other people. We would still talk. I would still call him and leave him messages knowing that he would never return them. I would send emails knowing that he might never read them. I started dating someone in October of 2007. As much as my heart yearned for Jason, I did fall in love again with my new beau. In March 2009 I became engaged even though I felt like I was betraying Jason. I still thought of him often, and I knew I still loved him.
Things with the engagement started going south. At the end of the relationship, Jason and I started talking online again. He tried to help me through the engagement, but one night I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him I was still in love with him, and that it would be cruel if Fate never allowed us to be together again. He told me that he’d never stopped loving me. That in the 3 years we were apart he had not been with anyone, not dated a single girl. So we planned to meet again.
In November of 2009 he bought a plane ticket to come down in January. In December things started to drift again. We rarely talked, and when we did he was always so tired that it was like not talking at all. Again my heart ached, and I thought “You fool... Things will never change,” so I started talking to someone else. On Christmas Eve Jason and I had a fight. On Christmas Eve I wrote him an email that was intended to be a “good bye.” On Christmas Eve I invited the other guy to spend New Year’s with me. From Christmas Eve to January 3rd Jason and I talked about a total of 30 minutes.
The picture from New Year’s was posted on our guild forums, and Jason saw it. The same day he had sent me an email telling me how stupid he had been and how much he had realized over the last week. About how much he wanted to be with me more than anything. When he saw the picture he was crushed. I felt like a horrible person as he explained to me that he had been working extra hours in December so that he could surprise me with a plane ticket to come down on my birthday and Valentine’s day. He told me that 3 years ago he’d made the biggest mistake of his life and that he couldn’t believe he’d almost made it again. That he thought I was coming down as my boyfriend and I his girlfriend, and that he was still coming down if I wanted and that if he left with his sweatshirt he’d given me 3 years ago that he’d never regret the time he spent with me just the mistakes he’d made. I didn’t know what to believe. Do I believe my heart? Do I believe my head? I was numb to everything.
Before I go to pick Jason up at the airport in January 2010 I get purple orchids delivered to my apartment. They’re my favorite flower, and I couldn’t believe that he’d remembered after 3 years. Things were a little awkward. He gave me roses at the airport, and when we got home he gave me a heart necklace he’d bought from Tiffany’s as a gift for Christmas/Birthday. We spent a night on the River Walk in San Antonio, and on Sunday when we came back he told me he loved me. Something started happening to my heart when he said it. So I asked him to say it again, and again, and again... and finally I was able to say it back. “I love you.” I was terrified.
Jason went back to Michigan, but he returned again for my birthday in February. We took our first ever pictures together. I flew up to Michigan to meet his parents. (He’d finally told his parents about me after the fight on Christmas Eve. He’d told them the true story about 3 years ago, and to his surprise, his mom was excited and happy for him. She told him to go to me, and that if he moved here she’d understand. She told him she wanted to meet me.)
Now it’s April and things are still going great. We have a lot of questions we don’t have answers to yet. Things are hard. We miss each other terribly. Right now I’m scheduled to FINALLY make the trip up there in July. This one I won’t be missing... Not for anything. We’re spending a week together, just us, camping in the Michigan UP. I know we’ll be able to better see where our road is headed and talk about long term plans. Regardless, whatever happens, I know now that we were meant to be together. That even though we may not have deserved each other three years ago, that doesn’t mean we didn’t stop loving each other, didn’t stop working towards finally deserving each other, and when we finally get there, we will be there together, and that’s all that matters.
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