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I don't really know "what we are", what should I do?

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    I don't really know "what we are", what should I do?

    First of all, i just have to say how glad i am that i found this website! Finally people who are in the same situation as me, and that understands how i feel sometimes.

    Or well, maybe not exactly the same situation. To be honest, i dont really know if he's my boyfriend or not. Okay, that sounds strange but i guess thats how it is. The thing is that we kind of have spoken about this, i asked him what this is and he said something about that he wanted to be my boyfriend but that we have to have " The Talk" about the distance and everything. But the problem is that he haven't mentioned the talk again, i think we're both avoiding it. I want to know "what we are" but i dont know if i should ask him again or just wait for him to bring it up, because i dont want to be too pushy. And last weekend when i visited him he didn't say anything about it. But i mean, neither one of us are seeing anyone else, he says he has never felt lik this before, that it's like it's ment to be and we speak very often. I'm just so confused.. especially when everyone else thinks we're in a relationship. I just want it to be official. I probably wouldnt feel like that if he lived here, especially not after only 1 month, but it feels so right! Maybe i should just wait a little bit longer.. but i want to know what i should "call" him when everyone asks, and i want to know it too. Any advices on what to do? Should i ask him again, or maybe just let it be?

    #2
    Almost two years later we still haven't had 'The talk' If you are both happy and not seeing anyone else, why does it need to be defined? Just enjoy it.

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      #3
      if it means something to you - ask him again. he may have simply just forgotten because of the work load (my SO forgets alot of things sometimes, but he doesnt mean to!)

      good luck x

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        #4
        Ditto! My boyfriend and me also didn't have "The Talk". We had a month of emotional turmoil, of just knowing that the feelings were there, but not putting any label to it. That came later, when we both definitely knew we wanted to be together and just like that we were a couple. No questions asked. No talks about it at all. Really, enjoy it. You'll know for sure sooner or later, but if it still bothers you why not bring the fact that friends and acquaintances are asking to his attention? That way you may figure it out without pushing him. I think.

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          #5
          I think you should ask him but if it has only been a month then give it maybe one more month. If it hasn't been brought up by then- then you defiantly nee to bring it up. My SO and I never had 'the talk' really. He told each other that we had feelings for one another, it was kind of unspoken that we weren't going to see any one else and then about a month later it wasn't said "we are official" but we were then comfortable with calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. So i say give it a bit more time then bring it up. but that is just me.
          Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

          I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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            #6
            Hmm idk, I think I would want to get it defined. Just because there's always that chance of something happens then the person can say "oh well its not like were boyfriend girlfriend" Not saying that thats the case with you guys. Just speaking on my own thoughts of it. I would personally want it official if im involved with him, and its exclusive. And you said you guys been together for awhile and have already met in person. So its not as if this is jumping him on the first date. I can only give my opinion though, I don't really have any experience on this. Me and my SO defined it pretty fast. But since your asking this and feeling confused, I think you should bring it up. Communication is always key in a LDR I think, and if you don't it will just probably bug you and be on your mind until somethings been said. Best of luck on whatever you decide though!
            I love you Nathan <3
            sigpic
            5/25/09 <3

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              #7
              We've talk about it but so far we've agreed our status is dating, altough we both know it's something more than that. I don't really even need it to be strictly defined, being official when not properly knowing her face to face would be too fast for me even though we've known for a year.
              "Everyone smiles in the same language."

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                #8
                Me and my SO never talk if we in relationship or not and he never ask me to be his gf.
                But he knows that he mean anything for me and he told me that I am his dream woman.
                Officially or not, but our heart belong to each other.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
                  Almost two years later we still haven't had 'The talk' If you are both happy and not seeing anyone else, why does it need to be defined? Just enjoy it.
                  i agree with snow_girl...

                  its like the saying "Enjoy it while its hot".,.
                  dianelovesjeremy

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by kiara_silver View Post
                    Hmm idk, I think I would want to get it defined. Just because there's always that chance of something happens then the person can say "oh well its not like were boyfriend girlfriend" Not saying that thats the case with you guys. Just speaking on my own thoughts of it. I would personally want it official if im involved with him, and its exclusive. And you said you guys been together for awhile and have already met in person. So its not as if this is jumping him on the first date.
                    Thats exactly how i feel! I think i've decided that i'm going to ask again, or hint it, when i see him again, which will hopefully be in 3 weeks. Then it has gone some time since i asked the first time. Maybe i'll ask in the way you suggested, SDPersona, it was a good suggestion, because for some reason i'm kind of afraid to ask.. don't know why..
                    But thanks for all the advices guys!

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