Years and babies...

[Minerva]

Because of our children, my SO and I can't close the distance for about 9 years. Perhaps something would happen that could shorten that time, but it isn't likely. Most days I'm OK with that. I love my SO and I can wait forever for him.

But my ex-husband's wife just gave birth, and now my SO's ex is going to have a baby, and I've realized my SO and I will never have a child together. I mean, I've always known that; given the distance, the time it will take to be together, and our ages, it's just not going to happen. But the last week has really hit home with me that it's not going to happen.

I'm just kind of sad that we'll never have a child together.

[Moon]

I know. I've never wanted more children, especially now that my daughter is 23, but now that I've finally found someone who I'd actually consider it with, well, I'm 41 so it's not exactly likely at this point. I'm quite surprised to find that I'm kind of sad about that.

[Fyrestar]

/gone

[Minerva]

I think what really got me was a couple of months ago he was talking about a tiny baby he saw at a wedding, and said that he loves tiny babies. He's this huge guy, 6'6", and he looks so tough -- but he loves tiny babies. That's when the wistfulness started I think.

We do have a nice brood together -- I have a son, he has daughters -- so it will be a very complete sort of family. And I look forward to that. Still...

[Mara]

*hugs*

[Leigh]

I like your new advitar and the old one too. Why do you have to wait 9 years to close the distance because of your children? Are you waiting for them to grow up? You don't have to answer. I understand some things are personal. I think it's good you both have had children. It would be harder if only one of you had been able to and not the other. I know what you mean though it's not like having a child together.

[LeilaniJoi]

I understand this one as well. At 43 with no hope of carrying another (i have 3) and him with medical reasons why he doesn't want any it does seem kind of a downer.... but saying that, my "baby" will be 17 in February and out of school soon and I'm really looking forward to it just being him and me, able to focus totally on each other.

Of course, you know you could always adopt as well And of course, there will always be grandbabies

[Minerva]

I like your new advitar and the old one too. Why do you have to wait 9 years to close the distance because of your children? Are you waiting for them to grow up? You don't have to answer. I understand some things are personal. I think it's good you both have had children. It would be harder if only one of you had been able to and not the other. I know what you mean though it's not like having a child together.

Thank you.

My son and his youngest daughter are 9 years old. I won't move till my son is of age, and my SO feels the same about his kids. But if he found a really good job here, he could come to me and make trips to see his girls (or have them come here). Since my son lives with me, my moving there isn't an option. I'm willing to do it when he turns 18 though, and I sort of hope he wants to come with me (it's NOT going to be easy to leave my son, but I've always planned to retire to another country -- I'd just be leaving sooner than I expected).

[Leigh]

O.k. I get the picture now.

[uniquefem]

*hugs*

As long as you're happy with the relationship, and everything just all right... aww... you had each other (even when there is distance in between) maybe this is the best for you both...now?

I want a baby from my SO, but once he said it will be difficult for us to have one... as his family history had less of children, 2 is the most. While my family short of.. well like a small town hehe... my dad had 12 brothers and sisters, my mom had 8 brothers and sisters. Me, i had 3 sisters my own. While my SO is the only child.

I wish to had 3 kids one day... and he want 5! (yepp he say this after i told him about my HUGE family)

[leonsfangirl]

I know how you feel, i have 2 children from my first marriage (boy and a girl) but my SO doesn't have children. We were talking on webcam a week and a half ago and he said how great it would be if by some miracle i got pregnant and had a little boy and my heart broke right then and there.
I had a hysterectomy just over 2 years ago so there is zero chance that i can have his children. When i made the decision to have the hysterectomy i did ask him about it (even though we werent together at that time) and he said he'd take me as i am but obviously things have changed and progressed between us. I thought for a long time that i didnt want anymore children.......i was wrong.

[rsvpnj]

I know the feeling... I have kids and because of that my SO and I have been living apart for the past 9 years. We are planning on closing the distance this summer, but he is going to be 41 and I will be 31. My kids will be 11 & 12. We are not planning on having children together and it does make me a little sad. I know he will make a great father. But I try to look at it more positively. As a young mom, there was a lot I missed out on. And when the kids are more independent and then eventually out of the house, it will be great to indulge in that time alone together that we missed out on during all the years we lived apart.