What to do?

[Sharon Q]

When every little tiny fight makes you want to call it quits when its been 3 years of CD with the person you love?
I mean he just moved and its only been two full months and every little fight frustrates me to the point where I want to say fuck it.... Why do they seem so intense now than they were before?

I try to look at this is " Its no different than if he were across town like he used to be " which during winter when he was across town we hardly saw each other because of the snow and neither of us having a car.

But... Its not the same... Its just not...

and its little shit that gets to me like thinking " Hey baby the leaves are changing here... are they changing there yet?... "

But when we fight, even just the little fights.... seem to be 10x worse than they would be if he were here...

Why?

Anyone of you guys have the same issue?

PS I sent him a video message letting him know how much I care and that its hard for both of us but that we love each other and I don't want to give up etc ... We will talk sometime tomorrow but sending him a video message kept me a little more positive about it I guess.

[Mara]

When we first became long distance we fought a lot. It took me a while to realize that it was because of the distance. We were both hurting and unfortunately, that hurt caused us both to respond negatively towards each other. I think you need to get down to the reason you are fighting and then you can address the issue.

[Zephii]

I agree with Mara. When you're hurting it's just hard not to spread that around (even though it's terrible it's hard not to do it!)

But, what are you arguing about? Is it something big and solveable or just little stuff?

[NineInchNails_x]

Me and my boyfriend were the same way. We've been long distance for about 4 months, but the first two or three he was living with his grandma, it was summer, etc so he had a lot of time to talk to me. It really didn't hit home until he started college and began making new friends. I have problems with change and trust, so at first it was really difficult. It's been probably a month and a half now and the fights are gradually stopping and things are getting back to a somewhat normal routine. When you feel like you two are about to get into a fight just ask yourself - is it really worth it? Can I let this go? I've learned to overlook a lot of the small things. I think I've gained a lot more trust in him while learning to live with him being away than I had before. You've just gotta find your groove, find what works for the two of you, compromise!
(:

[Bethypoo]

I am going through the same type of thing with my SO. What I had to do was decide if we were fighting for legit reasons or if were were blowing things up that really weren't something to fight over just because we were mad at the situation and being apart. What I found was that we were blowing things up because we were mad at the situation.

And like i wrote on my thread "Things are looking up" i heard someone say (about her rough patch in her relationship) that "she had a lot of expectations but no appreciation" of her husband. and because of that he was always walking into a hostile environment. So it is really about looking at the fights. I know they are till bad and my SO and i about called it quits a few days ago over it. But then we realized what we were fighting over and it was the situation, not each other.

Take a breath and good luck!