Advice

[Sunnyside193]

Sorry for all the "needyness". You guys just give some dam good advice. Alrighty so Im doing alright atm. But I dont consider us completely broken up until we meet in person and talk and then if he says he wants to go back to friends then its more official plus i know he isnt trying to take the easy option of doing it over msn instead of dealing with the problem.

Basically last night I was running through all the different scenarios that could happen in my head. Here is a few that came into my mind:
-We go back to being friends
-We go back to being friends however it's more a break and we could end up back together in the future
-We continue dating(long shot yes but it is possible) he could have been talking under the stress of uni ect

I feel the reason we had this problem is because LDR really take alot of work and add that on top of me working and him at uni. I think we werent really prepared for it. I obviously still have alot of feelings for him and I hope he still has some for me. It would be awesome if we just needed a break or to sit and talk but I'm preparing myself in case it is just friends. Just wondering what you guys think.

I talked to him last night a little but he had an exam this morning so was studying for that. It is his last exam this morning but im not sure when he is coming home. So hopefully he will be home in the next couple of days otherwise I will have to wait till I have a day off to talk to him(sure not talking to him about it before I have to work).

So in a nut shell do think the scenarios I have been thinking are possible and just general thoughts. THANKS

[Bethypoo]

okay. I hope this isn't to harsh. So, if he is thinking that it is time that you guys broke up, then you cant force anything on him. I mean, maybe it is just a break and maybe it is just time for you to go separate ways. But if you force this on him, then he may freak out and really be done. So I think you need to let him come to you. As long as he knows that you are ready and willing to be with him, then he knows. If he wants to be friends he will talk and if he wants to give you guys another shot then he knows that you are there. But if he doesn't then you need to respect that... and give him some time. A lot of people have been breaking up or taking a break but in the best situations they are giving their SOs the space that they have asked for.

I think it is normal to wonder and think about all of the "what ifs" and everything you are wondering is possible. But it is also good to live in the real world too. Im sure things will work out but you cant sit and wait for him. My suggestion is to give him space. And when he is ready, then it will work out.

[Sunnyside193]

No its not harash at all. I agree with you there. I guess I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worse.

[Bethypoo]

Okay, I didnt want to be mean. But i'm glad you can do both. Its best. And I really do hope things get better.

[Mara]

*hugs*

Honestly, I'm not sure whether or not he really is done or not. It's hard for me to say since I don't know either of you personally, but I agree with you that talking in person would be best. If he does hold to just wanting to be friends, I think you should take a bit of time to yourself to be able to heal and move on before pursuing a friendship with him. It's obvious that you care a lot about him, but you shouldn't put your life on hold for anyone. It's either he wants to be with you or he doesn't. No reason that you can't be friends, but holding on to hope doesn't do one good when trying to heal and move on.

[Sunnyside193]

Yes I am not sure either its all a bit confusing at the moment but hopefuly we can work it out when he comes home

[Minerva]

*hugs*

When my husband asked for a divorce, I fantasized about us moving into a duplex to raise our son together. I didn't want a divorce. I wanted to stay together, even though I knew we couldn't, because I couldn't force someone who didn't want to be with me to stay. So in my head, I created this situation where we could still together, except not really. I never truly believed it would happen, but the idea comforted me. "It doesn't have to be the end, we might still be friends and be together in some way..."

We've been divorced now for 8 years. I still see him a lot because we have a child together. But I don't love him, and we're not really friends. And I'm ok with that. If I'd stayed with him, I wouldn't be with my SO right now, and I'm so glad I'm with him.

You might still remain friends, you might not, but the break up is still fresh (or the almost-break-up), so indulge yourself in comforting thoughts -- whatever gets you functioning snd not crying. And just know that no matter how unimaginable it seems now, you'll be OK -- with or without him as part of your life.

*hugs again*

[Sharon Q]

Best thing you can do.
- Give him space
- Let him come to you.

Worst thing you can do.
-Rush him
-push him
-bring up the relationship right away.

You need to give him time.

If he brought up breaking up the relationship due to stress then only time will tell this.
If it was just due to stress then at most it will only take maybe three weeks of talking before things go back to normal with you guys.

For now, give him space, and when you two do talk, have fun, laugh, watch movies do what you normally do.